DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR HUSBAND'S MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, tact button still sticking a little. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Boundaries will push your WH away. Your H will gladly live within your boundaries.

Alcohol is a serious mistake right now. It is a major depressant. Go bowling or to a movie instead.

And I second the opinions offered here... don't believe your H about anything right now... but do set some boundaries that allow you to take care of you.

So WH called this morning and invited me to his family Christmas. I agreed to go- of couse I had been hoping he'd ask all week, but also out of respect for his family. Now that I'm on here writing this- not sure why I went

During dinner his phone rang- the OW calling. He had the nerve to get up and go outside to talk to her. 5 min later he left and was gone for 45min!!! How low can he get?? I know his family felt bad for me. I just wish someone would kick him where it counts and tell him to get his head out of his [censored] before he loses the best thing he's ever had.

I really dont know why he asked me up there. He didnt say hello, didnt talk to me the whole time. I think he is just trying to hurt me intentionally so I'll give up the fight. I dont know why else a person would treat their wife with such disrespect.

Sorry to hear about your holiday being ruined.

Try to remember that this is the WH and not the H you married making these decisions.

It seems to me that you need to expose this to the OWH immidiately (and follow up with Sheriff). Exposure will be the most effective step to rebuilding your marriage. As long as there is contact with the OW at will, you won't be able to make any headway in you M.

After exposure, hopefully, you will be able to set the bounds as your counselor suggested.

Good luck and Merry Christmas

God Bless

So what are you waiting for? He is walking all over you and you are letting him do it...Try standing up to him and see what happens. My experience is that every time I developed a little backbone, my W took notice.

hey everyone! Sorry I havent been on for a few days. Our internet got shut off b/c I didnt pay the bill since its in my husbands name- the only bill. so i'm here at the local library.

My husband came over Tuesday night to try and make his vehicle payment. i told him no since I wasnt able to make my house payment. I told him he'd have to wait until pay day. I then told him how what I thought about him disrespecting me. He of course didnt want to hear it.

I stayed home from school Wed and called our realtor. He pretty much told me that it will be hard to sell the house and get out of it what I paid, but also said its worth a try as foreclosure is my last alternative.
I also went job hunting.

I did try to call my husband tonight- only b/c if we are going to sell, i need to get the rest of the walls painted- they are only half done now. But of course he was out shopping with the OW and said he wouldnt make it over until 9pm- dont think so. I told him I'd think about it and get back to him. You guys are right, he is just rubbing it in my face that he is hanging out with her. I think I'll probably just in role the help of friends to get my place ready for sell.

I did talk to my brother tonight who also works at the same jail as my husband. He confirmed that my husband is on admin leave and it isnt looking good- like my husband might lose his job over this investigation. My brother also has done some checking with people and said that everyone at work has known about this affair.

Question- my parents are wanting me to just go file the paperwork for divorce since my husband isnt in any hurry to do it. My parents have offered to come up with some $$--- but I'm hesitating b/c I dont want to give my husband what he wants- its not about saving the marriage anymore. I know its over-- but if its what he really wants, why isnt he doing anything about it? Is he trying to make me do it? What would you all do?

I have a date tomorrow night with an ex boyfriend- nothing serious, just a movie--- I know i'm not doing anything wrong, but I kind of feel guilty since I am technically still married.

Alright, gotta start searching for an apt. I'll be on for a little longer if any one wants to give me their advice!!!

NO, NO, NO!!!

You can't date until you are divorced. I don't know what the laws in your state are, but here there is such a thing as marital misconduct which entitles you to a larger portion of the assets than you would otherwise receive. You would be committing marital misconduct as well and would void that with your actions. Why can't you wait to date until you are divorced? I thought you wanted to save this marriage. Don't hook up with an ex-boyfriend on the rebound. Your WH's affair seems to be blowing up in his face now. Don't have a revenge affair. Snap out of the fog, you are going to make yourself look like a cheap adultress yourself. Call off the date, you are STILL MARRIED. MARRIED PEOPLE SHOULD ONLY DATE THEIR HUSBAND!

(Smacking you with a MB 2x4)

jmwc95-
So just a movie with a friend is a bad idea? It's not like I'm going to start a relationship or anything. I really dont know about the laws. But I'll consider your advise- I agree I am still married, but I kind of also feel that a movie is innocent- what am i suppose to do- sit at home and be lonely while my husband is out playing and dragging his feet with the divorce?

I will second Jim's opinion here. DO NOT date while you are still married to him. You DO NOT want to lower yourself to his level...Also, take it easy after the divorce. I know a couple of people who got married "on the rebound" and one lasted one year, the other 6 months.....

Can you go out with female friends and not have an affair of your own? Girls don't normally go out with ex-boyfriends just to shoot the breeze. He could use that against you in a divorce hearing.

okay, okay smart ones! Thats why i post! I'm young and obviously dumb- when it comes to this kind of stuff anyway.

If you all lived here, i would give each of you a free haircut!

Yeap, you got it !!!! Or go file. In your case I really do not think it makes any difference who files. He really has no reason to file.

alright wise ones, my time is up on the computer. I'll try to get on tomorrow or over the weekend!

I prefer "Sage One".....

Well, send me $20 in the mail, and I'll get one here in St. Louis.

Seriously, you don't know how vulnerable you are to an affair right now. Don't lower your morals, your dignity, or sacrifice your legal standing. I'm 26, a good looking guy, and haven't gotten any in 5 months (while my WW has gotten some). If I had a few drinks and hung out with an XGF, I would have sex with her in a heartbeat. I'm not going to kid myself. That's why I don't put myself in that situation.

I know of no other way than to say this as loud as possible: DEAR GOD WOMAN, STOP TRUSTING YOUR HUSBAND!

You 'believe' him? There is not a person on this forum that has not witnessed a saint become a ruthless backstabbing liar who would walk upon their own mother in order to keep their affair alive. You really need to slap yourself into reality here.

He is lying to you. Over and over, and you are happy to eat the crumbs that he leaves for you.

Her husband does not know everything, and he NEVER will until you talk to him directly.

His work does not know everything, and they NEVER will until you write it out and provide evidence.

Plan A all you want, but as long as your exposure is nothing more than a pop instead of a KABOOM!, this affair will go on.

Hi guys! Happy New Year! (havent been on for a while)

I brought the new year in well. I went to dinner with some friends and then to a bar--- lots of eye candy! (no, i didnt do anything stupid or unfaithful) I had a really good time- first time in a long time. The best part of it all is that I didnt think about my WH. He did call twice, but I didnt answer.

He was over on saturday to pick up a few things. Guess he made a deposit on a house that him and some friends are now renting. Im doing better about not letting him walk all over me. I dont answer the phone everytime he calls now. I call him when i have the time. Funny how surprised he always sounds that I didnt answer his call- kind of like i am actually living my life now..

Have you decided what to do? You say H is moving out. Does that mean one of you decided to file?

Hey. So this last week wasnt so good. Just when I thought things were getting better- (i wasnt calling him as much, giving him his space) things took a turn. I went to the bank to make my vehichle payment and the account was overdrawn 500.00! I called him on it and his reply was "we must not be too short on $ if you are at school right now and not out working" How ridiculous. I am at school b/c WE made a decision for me to quit my job and go. 3 wks ago he told me he wanted me to continue going and he would pay for me to be there. He then continued to say that he makes the $ and he will spend it how he wants....

later that day I went home from school and to my surprise he had snuck home and taken a few items. I just dont understand why he keeps doing these hurtful things. I mean if he says he feels bad for what has happend and he cares about me, why does he keep turning the knife deeper and deeper?

I did call my lawyer. He of course wouldnt see me until I had a large retainer. My family has agreed to loan me the $ to file for divorce. My appt is Monday with the lawyer. I hate to file, but at this point I think it is the only way to start protecting myself financially. I have changed my locks on the house so hopefully he wont be able to take anything else.

Sorry for this turn of events. Just make sure to protect yourself. Getting with a lawyer is a good step at this point. Find out your options.