|
|
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
Member
|
Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284 |
MM <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Interesting, very interesting. I was sitting here thinking of the worst case scenario in all of this. Oddly it seems to me the worst case scenario is that you two don't get back together, but your children have both parents in their lives AND talking to one another. Both parents civil, respectful, and encouraging the kids together. That would not be so bad would it? And the BEST case scenario...MM is a happy man and he enjoys making his W of many years happy AND she lets him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> The power of faith is remarkable. God Bless, JL
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
Yes, as you say, SO AMAZED BY THE POWER OF THE LORD..every day and in every way...
I want to take this chance again to say, Mortarman, how special you are to me...
YOU WERE AN ANGEL HERE ON EARTH to me and I will FOREVER BE GRATEFUL to you...
You and Mrs. MM are certainly in my prayers... Thanks Mimi! I was glad to help. And you have gone on to help many! It is the nature of these boards...we take our pain and what we have learned, and help the next guy up!! I am glad you and Mr. Mimi made it. You did the hard work...and he is a lucky man for it.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 32
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 32 |
This post made my day. Good Luck MM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
MM,
I like the slow, methodical and though out way you are going about this. You have to continue to hold emotions at bay and only pay attention to your WW's actions, not her words.
All that said, I am praying for God's will to be done! I am not being sucked in this time. I really, thanks to Plan B, have detached. That being said...yes, I do love my wife. But it is really up to her now to do the things necessary to save herself...and by extension, our marriage. The difference now is that appears that she wants to do just that. Thanks again.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
MM - Thanks for the good news thus far; I've read and benefitted from your counsel but lost track of your sitch. Can you say what the Jul 06 court date was for? I gather it was for child custody but was it also separation or divorce?
I'm glad to hear Mrs MM has taken a turn for the light and pray she continues down that path.
V/r,
No way Hey. Yes, the court decision was for divorce and for custody. The custody situation was settled then. The final divorce stuff is scheduled to be settled this July.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
She's a VERY lucky woman that she is being given this opportunity for another chance.......... Praying for the best for you and your family! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Jesus has given me more chances than I have ever deserved. I hope that she will indeed grab at the one being presented to her by Him.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
He has helped her see that she cant come to the table demanding anything. Neither spouse can. That it must be about what you will do for your spouse...and not what your spouse will do for you. Now THAT is unconditional love! You can tell Steve I said that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> -ol' 2long That it is 2Long!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 936
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 936 |
Congratulations, Mortarman... I wish the best for you both.
So.. when were you separated/divorced? Might be nice if you updated your signature to mention that.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
MM <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Interesting, very interesting. I was sitting here thinking of the worst case scenario in all of this. Oddly it seems to me the worst case scenario is that you two don't get back together, but your children have both parents in their lives AND talking to one another. Both parents civil, respectful, and encouraging the kids together. That would not be so bad would it? And the BEST case scenario...MM is a happy man and he enjoys making his W of many years happy AND she lets him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> The power of faith is remarkable. God Bless, JL Exactly, JL. For me, there really is no downside now. if she pulls thru, then the marriage and family are saved and all is right. If she doesnt, then things will move forward as they have and we will be okay. So, for me...it has been calming because there isnt the imperative push to this. The Lord has this one in His hands. I am just staying out of the way.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
This post made my day. Good Luck MM. Thanks Patience!!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
Congratulations, Mortarman... I wish the best for you both.
So.. when were you separated/divorced? Might be nice if you updated your signature to mention that. Gonna put together my bio and put a link to that. Will make things easier so those that are new to this will know what has happened!!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044 |
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Very good news indeed. Follow HIS direction MM.. as you always do. He will direct your pace and heart towards peace.
I am happy for you and your wife.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621 |
"Mrs. MM began to see what she really had in me and how really small our problems were/are. And that she will never get what she is looking for by pursuing her own will.
It was the quiet times over the last 6 months, she said. She spent all of her time at work or at home...mostly without the kids. I wouldn't talk or even come near her. Sure, she still had her friends around her. But she was still feeling alone.
She could no longer blame any part of her life on me. As things began to worsen...she could only blame herself."
Actions vs. words. Lots of work on her part. MC with SH. Her being proactive. Apparent remorse...
All this is a good start. Yet one small sentence leaves me wondering:
"But she was still feeling alone."
This is not a good reason to reconcile. It is a bad reason, in fact. She needs to learn to deal with herself, in ethical ways.
MM, IMO the best indicator of her personal recovery will be when she no longer lies to anyone, but especially not herself, about anything whatsoever, big or small.
With prayers,
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959 |
Amazing what thoughtful patience, perserverence and trust can accomplish. MM...best of luck in completing this inspiring love story!
Best wishes,
SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
"Mrs. MM began to see what she really had in me and how really small our problems were/are. And that she will never get what she is looking for by pursuing her own will.
It was the quiet times over the last 6 months, she said. She spent all of her time at work or at home...mostly without the kids. I wouldn't talk or even come near her. Sure, she still had her friends around her. But she was still feeling alone.
She could no longer blame any part of her life on me. As things began to worsen...she could only blame herself."
Actions vs. words. Lots of work on her part. MC with SH. Her being proactive. Apparent remorse...
All this is a good start. Yet one small sentence leaves me wondering:
"But she was still feeling alone."
This is not a good reason to reconcile. It is a bad reason, in fact. She needs to learn to deal with herself, in ethical ways.
MM, IMO the best indicator of her personal recovery will be when she no longer lies to anyone, but especially not herself, about anything whatsoever, big or small.
With prayers, Aph, Agreed! SH agrees also, which is why he said that I am not to start dating her or having sex or even getting too far into this. She has work to do, as Steve said. What Steve was surprised by was the level of her understanding now that she does have to do the work...and willingness to do so. Thanks again.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,087
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,087 |
Hey MM!!!
This is great news! I wish the best for you and Mrs. MM... and I will be praying for you.
Semper Fi,
RIF
Me, BS
Her, Forgiven
Married Dec 86
Multiple A's that ended '90
Rebuilding In Faith since then...
Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978 |
WOW!!!! I almost fell off my chair. I am typing w/ a huge grin. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487 |
I too am happy to hear this news for you. I read through Mimi's story a while back and your advice to her was so profound and helped me a great deal. I am praying for God to complete this work He has begun.
God Bless You and He is a MIRACLE WORKER!!!!
BW 35 (Me)
WH 35
DS 11, DS 10, DD 10, DS 5, DS 3
Married 1994
Dday 7-9-06
Plan B started 12-24-06
Psalm 62:5 My soul wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
459
guests, and
46
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,622
Posts2,323,490
Members71,947
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
