I suggest you get on some anti- depressants. Right now you are doing the whole job of trying to keep the marriage together.

I'm so happy he talked to the Harleys. That was a very important step, and make me very hopeful.

I have been on AD's for about 2 years. Helped tremendously.I imagine if I wasn't on them right now, I would feel a whole lot worse.I have a hard enough time functioning day to day.

I made another appt. with SH. He wanted to speak with H again but h did not make another appt. I figured I would do it without him. Still going to IC too. I am not pursuing H anymore - I won't even ask when his 1st IC appt. is.

I know H arrived at his new duty station - got a short note yesterday. What makes this worse is TODAY is OUR 15TH ANNIVERSARY. Stupid me had planned months ago to renew our vows today before I had any idea H still was having problems with the M. Sad day. And to top it off, I have not even heard from him today.

Okay, don't give up. Keep the appointment with SH.

I really have no idea about what is going on with your husband. It could be that he is depressed, or has FOO issues. Or he could be having an affair. His letting himself go doesn't sound like an affair though.

So I suggest you put hubby on the back burner for now. I would continue sending him cheery email, and having the kids stay in close contact, whether he responds or not.

In the meantime, please work on the things that you can change to make your life better. Since it is a new year and all, the timing is perfect.

When I first came here, I started cleaning the house sparkling, reorganizing, made a garden, did lots of walking, joined a gym, joined a women's Bible study group, started my own business, etc. All the activity made me feel good.

I don't know what makes you feel good, but figure it out and start doing it. Right now, you are the own holding everything together, and that cannot be easy.