I tried posting but something happened, I think my W is having an affair, I had been distant,demeaning, critical along with independent behavior and after our last problem in late Oct. W said she wasnt sure she wanted to be married anymore. I took it as a wake up call and changed many behaviors and the only bad thing I have been doing is begging, pleading and crying for another chance.
Thought I had hard proof that she was at least having EA but she keeps shooting it down saying were just friends.
Folowed advice and told MIL and Pastor at church, MIL even asked W if there was someone else, W denies everything and has withdrawn from parents as well as me.
Had cell phone records of almost daily calls to OM in Nov but blew that when I confronted her.
Sat. something seemed odd when she had to go in to work @ 10:30 Am didnt think anything but she called at 12:30 to say she was coming home but 5 min later called and said she had to go back - Went to house of suspected OM(coworker)
and found her there - Confronted again more denial when she came home asked if she wanted to work on things and if she wanted to remain friends w/ him that I would feel better about it if she introduced me.
W hasn't left house and neither have I - Neither one of us consulted atty. but she was sleeping on couch until 3 weeks ago - Have offered D or S but says she is unsure - Just feels like she wants her freedom - Doesnt want counseling for herself or us dont know where to turn, Spoke w/ the Harleys twice on their radio show and got some good advice.
After Sunday W said she gives up I win saying she will be W and mother in all ways but that I cannot have her heart says she is going to get hurt again by loving or being loved.
I ordered a kit from checkmate to test for semen to allay my own thoughts and should be here tomorrow and I have undergament worn from Sat but not sure what else to do do I hope that all will work out or do I let her continue until she is ready.

Repost this in General Questions II forum and you will get 10 times the responses. I would reply, but I have quite a bit going on in my own situation right now.