i got this email from ow this morning! i would like your opinions on whether or not i should respond.... i feel very numb to it like the words are meaningless. quite honestly, i think she just wants me to justify her relationship with my wh and wants to make herself feel better.

i have also been praying for both of them and i think maybe she is starting to feel some of the guilt??

quik recap on my story, h had multiple affairs, this being the last one. started oct 04, off and on through 05. he left in 05 and immediately started back up with her. she ruined her marriage and mine. she is 26 now, was 24 oe 25 when it started, my wh is now 32. here is email from ow:



I'm not sure if you recieved this e-mail from me, as you once said you blocked my e-mail address so I will send it through here also.

Michelle,

I have been wanting to do this for quite a while, but to be honest with you I was not sure how well received it would be or if you would even care. However, knowing that you do want an apology from me (and you do deserve one) I am doing this now.
My relationship with my ex-husband was not as great as he probably led you to believe. A week before I married my ex-husband I found out some very upsetting news that should have made me call off the wedding, but with all the money spent and invites sent out I felt like I couldn't. There were plenty of other strains on that relationship too. On October 23, 2004 my Grandfather passed away. I was totally devastated. He was and still is my hero and the family member I was closest to. I needed Michael with me that day more than any other. However, like always he chose work over me. That day I decided that I really didn't care about that relationship. I felt "how can I have a family with a man that doesn't care about family"? I'm not trying to make excuses for what I did (there are none), but trying to paint the picture of what my frame of mind was.
Honestly when things happened between me and Jon I was not thinking about anyone else. I never weighed the consequences of my actions or thought that I would be hurting other people. I was so depressed with my life nothing really mattered. Like I said... I am not trying to make excuses and I hope it doesn't sound that way.
No matter how bad your relationship with Jon was you did not deserve what I did to you. Whether or not you loved Jon at that time (if you didn't you must have at one time) you did not deserve to be hurt and betrayed like you were. No matter how you felt for Jon at the time I am sure the pain and betrayal must have been great. The children did not deserve it either. Things should have been allowed to follow their own natural course. For this I am whole heartedly sorry. I hope this can bring some peace of mind to you. I also hope that you and your family have a merry Christmas.

~Michelle

Long story short......your husband was still married when she began up with him. Of course she feels guilt. But, she kept up with him, so words are pretty hollow.

You said that your H had multiple affairs, this being the last one. This OW took up with him when he was still married,......with a track record like your H has, she should be worried that he will turn around and do the same thing to her. A leopard does not change its spots (especially after repeated affairs)

Try not to dwell on it too much. You deserve someone who will be faithful to you. Let her have the wandering louse!!

Keep praying! Just let God take care of them...don't you worry about what is in store for them....You have children who need you and you need them. Focus on yourself and them...you all deserve the best!!!

"i feel very numb to it like the words are meaningless. quite honestly, i think she just wants me to justify her relationship with my wh and wants to make herself feel better."


Agree. If you want to respond, do so. If not, don't. Should you respond I suggest you be brief and to the point. Avoid lengthy novellas. [color:"black"] [/color]

You know at least she sent something... It just matters how long you want to hang onto it... I say let it go... I mean if she is gonna be around your kids at some point... then it would be easier to not hate.. I have found that things are easier when we let it all go... sure they have each other but you know what they probably deserve each other and you are gonna be so much better off... I would just send a polite thank you for the note... do not elaborate or make comments just let her know that you got it.... really and truly they are not worth it... Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and a great time on your trip ....

I personally wouldn't respond to it at all. Appreciate that she had sense enough to apologize...now...but don't acknowledge it. Politeness does not dictate a thank you for a husband-stealing apology.

mlhb,

I won't say that you should respond or not but,do let it sit for a while first.Let your emotions/numbness settle before taking any action.

It may be that the OW is truly sorry but in my book,truly being sorry means ending it with the WS, for any relationship born of the pain and suffering of other's for their own gain isn't right and never will be.In that respect,the "apology" would be worthless to me.Who cares what "frame of mind" she was in.It doesn't help at all to know that and certainly was no green light to be involved with another woman's husband.