No no no no...you come here when you're upset and ready to love bust or blow up.

We help you get through whatever you've just been told by your WW.

We help you to understand what's going on. And we encourage you to follow your plan.

You're not ready for Plan B yet...what you need is support and encouragement.

We can do that for you.

~ Marsh

I am in the marital home. She is living in our rental house. OM has been staying there occasionally too. This is really to much for me to bare.

I know you say I don't need to be in PlanB yet but I can't keep on like this. Emotionally I am losing my love I have for her. That is one of the things I told her in the letter. In order for me to be able to hold on to the love I have for her this best way I could see was not letting her rip me apart each time we talk. I mean every time we end up fussing about something. She calls me a hypocrite and that I am only doing things so people will feel sorry for me. Its not that way at all. God chose to allow me to go through this because he knew I would come to him and want to walk with him. That is what I want to do, I want to walk with him daily. Every Step.

Now I know I may react quickly on some things but I just can't handle much more. I tell you what I will do though. I will listen to what you tell me for a while and we will see how that goes.

Starting today. Tell me what my next move should be. I may be talking to her in the next hour or so, so I will try to be loving and gentle until I hear back from you. Thanks in advance for the help. I NEED IT.

Why are you planning on talking to her?

Plan B won't allow it.

~ Marsh

Well I wasn't until I read your post saying I wasn't ready for PlanB yet. I thought about what you said that I had her on my lap and it reminded me that I did and I wasn't thinking rationally at the time I gave her the letter. Now I am in a fix and don't know what to do. Should I talk to her or not. HELP ME QUICKLY!!

So i guess we can say I was going to drop Plan B for a awhile. That would give me some time to get on here and follow your advice. Marsh you are highly recommended and I want to do anything I can to restore my marriage. I'm at the end of my rope. I am sitting here at the computer hoping you respond before I talk or not talk to her hitting refresh.

OK

Calm down.

The best thing you can do right now is think all this out carefully and thoughtfully.

Would you consider not doing anything major w/o thinking it through and posting about it here first and at least getting some feed back?

There have been other people in your position who started Plan B too early and had to stop it and start Plan A again.

Let's talk a little bit about watching your temper when your WW starts speaking babble to you.

Do you understand that you aren't supposed to pay attention to what she's saying?

~ Marsh

Yes I understand everything she says is hogwash. So should I talk to her and explain that I overeaacted on the NC stuff. Then what should I say.

No, don't call her yet.

When was the last time you spoke to her?

Actually spoke to her was Thursday.

She just texted me asking if I was at home. I texted back yes

OK, tell me about it.

Who called whom?

What was said?

Was this before or after you gave her the plan B letter?

Also, please tell me what your WW says to you that hurts you.

~ Marsh

That's it?

Why did she ask this?

~ Marsh

OK I called her before I left the letter in her mailbox.

She is probably on her way here so I will be brief.

She pretty much says things like hypocrite, move on, it over and he say things to me I have never heard or he loohs in my eyes. Anything she can to get me to try to forget her and move on.

She must be going to drop off our D

Oh, she JUST texted you.

OK, put a smile on your face.

And be friendly, k?

Ignore all babble that she speaks.

I'll post some more to you in second.

~ Marsh

Ok its over. She came and dropped off D and I talked small talk and she said she would pick D up Monday at 6. I said I would bring her there. I didn't smile because I got your message after I came back in.

But I wasn't frowning either

I didn't know you had a daughter.

How old is she?

Does your WW let her spend time w/ OM?

Calling you names and telling you that the OM says sweet nothings to her, and that the M is over is all hogwash.

You know this.

Why let hogwash stop you from getting your wife back?

All WS speak the same stupid nonsense.

You are in a better position than many BS, b/c she was just in your lap the other day.

Plan Aing can sometimes be easier to do if the WS is out of the house. B/c it gives you a chance to reach out to her, and then go home, lick your wounds, plan your next battle, and go out again for another attack.

~ Marsh

It's ok.

You'll get another chance to be friendly.

I'm glad you didn't say anything about your Plan B letter.

We've got to talk about this...

Do you think you can work a Plan A w/o letting what she says hurt you too much?

~ Marsh

8

Yes and he is my ex BIL and that gets all over me because he is a jerk

Yep I know

.
Tell me how

.
Give me a starter line. How can I do something she wants nothing to do with. She gave me papers the other day. She wants to move through this ASAP so she can get on with her life. Tell me what to do and I will begin acting upon it.

~ Marsh [/quote]