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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions "PHB's saga...working my Plan A..."

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Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... paranoidHB #1793872 01/02/07 05:57 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote Marsh gave them to me also. I have them printed and I will start to carry them in my wallet Just wanted to be clear, Mr Wondering found the Do and Don't list somewhere and brought it here. I just copy it and share it. Quote I just talked with her and D and I will be picking D up Saturday morning. So I have time to get me some new clothes and prepare to knock her socks off. Good job. Don't forget to have plans to take DD somewhere fun on Sat. B/c you want to be able to invite WW to come along too. Quote The only thing that bothered me was the fact she sounded eager to get off the phone. Not like someone was there but like the more she hears my voice the more it either disgusts her or is drawing her back. Don't try to figure out a WW. You just do your thing. Quote While talking with her I didn't mention anything about yesterday and I talked like I was happy. You DO still need to tell her that you will not drop your DD off at her house, unless she answers her phone. You can say this in a firm, but upbeat way. But, it has to be said, k? ~ Marsh

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... Marshmallow #1793873 01/02/07 06:09 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553 P paranoidHB OP Member
OP paranoidHB Member P Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553	10-4 I will tell her when I see her not over the phone. Any suggestions or ideas about what I need to do the next couple days Me-34 (BS) W-33 (WW) DD-7 Married 3/28/1992 DDay 8/4/06 Seperated 8/18/06 Plan A Start 1/4/07 A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... paranoidHB #1793874 01/02/07 07:08 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553 P paranoidHB OP Member
OP paranoidHB Member P Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553	Going to the gym to play raquetball. Be back around 10ish. Now that I have couple days to think before Sat. Is there anything major I need to do. That way I have that part down pat b4 Sat. I have been and will continue to read Marsh's links she sent but I would like to get a plan of action in place b4 then. Any suggestions? Me-34 (BS) W-33 (WW) DD-7 Married 3/28/1992 DDay 8/4/06 Seperated 8/18/06 Plan A Start 1/4/07 A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... paranoidHB #1793875 01/02/07 07:14 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553 P paranoidHB OP Member
OP paranoidHB Member P Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553	Ok one dumb question? What is DDay? I have had it in my sig for a while now and I thought it was the worst day of the marriage. I have been reading thru some post and I am kinda confused on it now. My DDay is the day my WW left the home. I was reading in another post that DDay came after the affair was over. Me-34 (BS) W-33 (WW) DD-7 Married 3/28/1992 DDay 8/4/06 Seperated 8/18/06 Plan A Start 1/4/07 A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... paranoidHB #1793876 01/02/07 07:22 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553 P paranoidHB OP Member
OP paranoidHB Member P Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553	One other question? Why is WW's whole family tell me repeatedly the she will never come home? Do the not believe that this can be restored. They all go to church every Sunday but yet don't believe that God is willing and able. I think I will just quit talking to them. Me-34 (BS) W-33 (WW) DD-7 Married 3/28/1992 DDay 8/4/06 Seperated 8/18/06 Plan A Start 1/4/07 A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... paranoidHB #1793877 01/02/07 09:24 PM
Joined: May 2006 Posts: 1,372 A AmIok Member
AmIok Member A Joined: May 2006 Posts: 1,372	D-Day is the day you found out about the A. The day the bomb was dropped.... And I think that you will find that lots of people think that an A is automatically the end -- no chance of recovery from that. I did, before I came here. The IL's are just uneducated. Don't cut them off, it will be good to have them in your corner. Just keep repeating to them that you believe in your vows and your M and will do whatever you can to save it. Maybe even ask them, if you have an open enough relationship with them .... "Why would you say that? I believe that God is faithful and can and will restore our marriage." -AmI.

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... AmIok #1793878 01/02/07 10:15 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553 P paranoidHB OP Member
OP paranoidHB Member P Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553	AmI, Thanks for the info. I will remember that question next time. Me-34 (BS) W-33 (WW) DD-7 Married 3/28/1992 DDay 8/4/06 Seperated 8/18/06 Plan A Start 1/4/07 A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... paranoidHB #1793879 01/02/07 11:44 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote Any suggestions or ideas about what I need to do the next couple days Get a new hair cut??? Finish reading those links? Get all your paper work in order for your lawyer's meeting on Thursday? ~ Marsh Last edited by Marshmallow; 01/02/07 11:45 PM.

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... paranoidHB #1793880 01/02/07 11:49 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote but I would like to get a plan of action in place b4 then. Any suggestions? Is there an indoor aquarium near by? A kid's museum? A Zoo? A sick relative who could be cheered up by a visit from your family? What kind of things does your WW like to do? ~ Marsh

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... Marshmallow #1793881 01/02/07 11:57 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553 P paranoidHB OP Member
OP paranoidHB Member P Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553	Quote Is there an indoor aquarium near by? A kid's museum? A Zoo? No to all. We only have putt putt or movies round here. Quote A sick relative who could be cheered up by a visit from your family? None that I know of. Quote What kind of things does your WW like to do? Shop,Shop and did I mention Shop. I will probably do movies unless I decide to drive to the mountains and go Skiing. If the slopes are open. I don't know yet. Me-34 (BS) W-33 (WW) DD-7 Married 3/28/1992 DDay 8/4/06 Seperated 8/18/06 Plan A Start 1/4/07 A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... paranoidHB #1793882 01/03/07 12:00 AM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote I will probably do movies unless I decide to drive to the mountains and go Skiing. If the slopes are open. I don't know yet. Does your DD and WW ski? I was thinking of an activity you can plan to do on Sat. w/ DD that you can invite your WW to as well. ~ Marsh

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... Marshmallow #1793883 01/03/07 12:01 AM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Ice skating? Sledding? ~ Marsh

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... Marshmallow #1793884 01/03/07 12:15 AM
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 675 J JustKeepGoin Member
JustKeepGoin Member J Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 675	Sorry to threadjack PHB: Marshmallow would you mind looking at SRTogacihC's thread and see if you have any suggeations for him. He was posting on another sight and I convinced to post here for some perspective he wasn't getting there. JKG

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... JustKeepGoin #1793885 01/03/07 12:23 AM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	On my way, JKG. BTW: I'm so glad you found this site. I think you are a blessing to many people here. ~ Marsh

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... Marshmallow #1793886 01/03/07 12:41 AM
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 675 J JustKeepGoin Member
JustKeepGoin Member J Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 675	Thanks Marsh, I really respect your insight and think he might as well. Also any other heavy hitters you can think of, I am thinking like Mr Wondering in particular. JKG

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... JustKeepGoin #1793887 01/03/07 12:43 AM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote Thanks Marsh, I really respect your insight and think he might as well. Also any other heavy hitters you can think of, I am thinking like Mr Wondering in particular. I think he's gottan excellent advice. Sounds like he's a very smart guy. ~ Marsh

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... Marshmallow #1793888 01/03/07 12:53 AM
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 675 J JustKeepGoin Member
JustKeepGoin Member J Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 675	I was really wondering if there might some legal aspect that he might need to consider that he might have been missing. Hence my reason for asking if Mr. Wondering might chime in. From my perspective he has treated this thing like a father helping his daughter get out on her own. Really enabling her A when she moved out. I think that's when he really needed MB. Anyway thanks for taking a look/see. Last edited by JustKeepGoin; 01/03/07 12:54 AM. JKG

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... JustKeepGoin #1793889 01/03/07 12:59 AM
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 675 J JustKeepGoin Member
JustKeepGoin Member J Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 675	Unjacking your' thread pHB: Sorry for the interruption. JKG

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... JustKeepGoin #1793890 01/03/07 01:23 AM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote I was really wondering if there might some legal aspect that he might need to consider that he might have been missing. Hence my reason for asking if Mr. Wondering might chime in. Right. I understand. I believe Mr. W is still on vacation, so hopefully he'll see the thread when he gets back. Quote From my perspective he has treated this thing like a father helping his daughter get out on her own. Really enabling her A when she moved out. I think that's when he really needed MB. Oh, I agree. This IS the best place to find help and support. ~ Marsh

Re: Next step in dealing with WW.... Marshmallow #1793891 01/03/07 06:28 AM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553 P paranoidHB OP Member
OP paranoidHB Member P Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 553	Quote Does your DD and WW ski? I was thinking of an activity you can plan to do on Sat. w/ DD that you can invite your WW to as well. ~ Marsh Me and WW used to go skiing all the time. My D has been once. I was thinking that may be something that she would see and miss. I would simply say we are going skiing want to come along.Wait for answer, well then ok see you Monday. I was thinking that may plant a seed. What do you think? JKG I have no problem with threadjacking. Heck I know I ain't the only one that needs help. I just pray that I am able to help someone else the way ya'll are helping me. Me-34 (BS) W-33 (WW) DD-7 Married 3/28/1992 DDay 8/4/06 Seperated 8/18/06 Plan A Start 1/4/07 A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.

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