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Right now I feel that God wants to put our M back together and that is his will. WW just don't want no part of God right now. I know your W wants no part of God right now. But God wants her. He continues to reach out to her. He won't stop until He does have her back in His arms. Having your M is part of His will, but it is secondary compared to your W's soul. It's amazing how He works on both of these things at the same time, but He does. He is starting to reach her in sayings like, "we both know what we're doing is wrong". The Holy Spirit is convicting her of her sin & she's ignoring that feeling. Eventually, w/the prayers that you will be praying for her, the voice will be so strong that she cannot ignore it any longer. This, coupled w/the Hedge of thorns prayer that I mentioned in my last post, will lead to her being broken. It hurts seeing your loved one go through that, but it needs to happen in order for your W to be truly repentant & of humble spirit when she returns. Also, start thanking God for what He's doing that you cannot see. It will also help your relationship w/God to list all the positive things around you that you see. It will help you keep positive & focused. Also, when your WW says mean things to you, underneath your breath, in your head, say, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" See, your W has spun herself a web full of deceit & sin. Just as it took a while to weave that web, it's going to take a while to unravel it. My mantra(s) during the whole seperation & A was, "Nothing is impossible w/God." and also, "Stop telling God how big your storm is & start telling your storm how big your God is." Maybe they'll work for you too. God bless, HB.
RBW (me) FWH lostboyz Married for 16 years DDay on 10/10/03 Reconciliation on 2/8/04 Son 17, Twin son & daughter 16 4 years of a strong recovery
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"Get thee behind me, Satan!" Thanks I will use that one. Probably alot. I am going to take DD to movies to see Happy Feet or something so I will check back on here later. Thanks for all the encouragement from all. Keep smiling and reaching for the stars.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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Ok guys I just found out that WW is out of town with OM. I am thinking of texting her a message that says:"you two having fun, I just got some good pix emailed to me." That will kinda go along with the letter they will be getting from lawyer. What do you think?
BTW DD and I bought a magnet craft kit and we are going to make WW some stuff that will hang a fridge and then DD is going to make her a card on the computer. I am going to put a Rose along with it when she gives it to her. WW called today at 2pm and have not heard from her since.
WW told a lady that she works with that there was NO WAY she would ever come back to me because of the way I have treated her and DD during this. I admit I did some bad things but what else should a husband do that loves his wife, he should fight for her. I am thinking this being nice stuff might backfire on me.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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Ok guys I just found out that WW is out of town with OM. I am thinking of texting her a message that says:"you two having fun, I just got some good pix emailed to me." That will kinda go along with the letter they will be getting from lawyer. What do you think? NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
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WW told a lady that she works with that there was NO WAY she would ever come back to me because of the way I have treated her and DD during this. I admit I did some bad things but what else should a husband do that loves his wife, he should fight for her. I am thinking this being nice stuff might backfire on me. Pay NO attention to what your WW says! It's all fog speak. She is just trying to justify her A. How do you think Plan A could back fire on you? It's about YOU becoming a better person. How could THAT be bad? BTW DD and I bought a magnet craft kit and we are going to make WW some stuff that will hang a fridge and then DD is going to make her a card on the computer. I am going to put a Rose along with it when she gives it to her. WW called today at 2pm and have not heard from her since. VERY good about the craft set. That's the way to Plan A. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ~ Marsh
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WW told a lady that she works with that there was NO WAY she would ever come back to me because of the way I have treated her... In fogspeak this means..."I don't know how I can ever come to terms with the way I've hurt my husband by this affair, and I don't know that I can overcome the shame and guilt to return the marriage where I belong". Just another chapter in the WS handbook...LOL! Pay no attention to the words. They mean nothing! SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979 FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003 Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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OK I have settled down a bit now and no text message has been sent. I took my DD to my mom's house to spend the night tonight. WW has not even called to check on her. I will document that, if she does call should I say anthing about me knowing they are out of town together? I think letting her know would somehow cause possible love busters. Especially letting her know I have pix. She may think they are being followed by a PI. I don't know what to think no more.
Know what irks me. I am sitting back doing everything I can to help this marriage and she is out sowing her wild oats. I know that I I will be rewarded for this stance but it is awful hard when you are lonely and NO ONE is filling any of my needs. That sounds selfish doesn't it.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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OK I have settled down a bit now and no text message has been sent. Good for you!!! I think letting her know would somehow cause possible love busters. Especially letting her know I have pix. She may think they are being followed by a PI. I don't know what to think no more. Don't mention that you know the two of them are together. Where did you get pix? Know what irks me. I am sitting back doing everything I can to help this marriage and she is out sowing her wild oats. I know that I I will be rewarded for this stance but it is awful hard when you are lonely and NO ONE is filling any of my needs. That sounds selfish doesn't it. Your Taker is making an appearance tonight. I was wondering when he would. This means that you NEED to do something for yourself. Something to show yourself that you matter. Something that would make you feel good. I don't know what a guy would do, but for me, a bubblebath works. Or going to get my nails done. Curling up for an hour or so w/ a good book... Do stuff to make your Taker happy, so your Giver can come back out and work Plan A. ~ Marsh
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I don't have them I just found out thru a "friend" and if I said that I thought they might believe it once they get the letters. it was just a play This means that you NEED to do something for yourself. Something to show yourself that you matter. Something that would make you feel good. Marsh I am a man remember. I took my DD shopping tonight and know I was being looked at by a few. It was one of the hardest nights I have had. I just kept thinking about DD and moving on. But I can't even begin to tell you how hard this is. Having no one that is. LOL I don't know what a guy would do Most guys would do exactly what I don't need to do.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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Many guys here, myself included, joined a gym, and worked out, and I do mean worked out a lot of emotion on those machines and weights. I must say I looked pretty HOT at the time too...shame that recovery included much of the weight that I lost. Running is a great high as well, if you can manage.
Any physical exertion will relieve a lot of stress. Others have reported they would tear into a garage and clean it stem to stern... or paint rooms in their houses. Put the stress and anxiety to work to produce positive results.
Hang in there...it's a marathon... SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979 FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003 Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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Marsh I am a man remember. I took my DD shopping tonight and know I was being looked at by a few. It was one of the hardest nights I have had. I just kept thinking about DD and moving on. But I can't even begin to tell you how hard this is. Having no one that is. LOL I know you're a man! LOL What, there's only ONE thing that makes a man feel good? Really? You can't self-sooth yourself in any other way??? And I hope Jim doesn't show up talking about what he does that may cause BLINDNESS. LOL Going fishing? Hanging out w/ friends? Playing poker? Basketball? Anything ELSE besides THAT? LOL ~ Marsh
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Thank God for you, SD!
I think starting a project around the house is a good idea.
Paint the livingroom or another room.
~ Marsh
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Well it has been 5 1/2 months and the motor is running. But I am in control of that most of the time. I know the Lord would not reward me if I fell into to same thing as WW. Sa i must stay strong.
I have joined the gym already and playing raquetball like crazy. I weighed 216 lbs when she left. I weighed 152 in October. Started working out and playing RB and now i am back up to 165 and holding I hope for a while. And yes I am looking pretty dag gum good right now. That makes it even harder. When girls are looking that is.
And what is it with people. they find out you are separated and they flock in like vultures. People have just lost all respect now a days.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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I did go and buy some new clothes tonight. I will look HOT when I take DD back. IF I take her.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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HB... you and your daughter should paint her room TOGETHER. Ya think THAT will get back to your WW??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> DAM STRAIGHT it will!
Congrats on the new clothes.... now get a good cologne that you haven't worn before, something your W hasn't smelled on YOU.
SD
Last edited by shattered dreams; 01/06/07 10:18 PM.
BH - me 53, ONS 1979 FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003 Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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HB... you and your daughter should paint her room TOGETHER. Ya think THAT will get back to your WW??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> DAM STRAIGHT it will!
Congrats on the new clothes.... now get a good cologne that you haven't worn before, something your W hasn't smelled on YOU.
SD How will painting a room effect WW? What type of Cologne do you suggest?
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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"Mommy... you should see my room at HOME. Daddy and I painted it this week, my favorite color. You should see it!!!"
I've no idea about cologne brands today. I buy the cheap knockoffs at Walmart! LOL! Ask one of the sales people at Dillards, Macy's, Target what the ladies are buying for their men these days. I think I have a 1/4 bottle of Hai Karate left over from about 1968 if you dare <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Just kidding...
SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979 FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003 Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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OK I see, It will have to wait because I don't think we will have the time tomorrow and then she has school on Monday. I will check into the cologne stuff tomorrow. Thanks for the info
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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One more thing before I go to bed I have to tell ya'll. I downloaded a ringback tone on my cell phone. Everytime someone calls me they hear "Does that blue moon ever shine on you, " instead of a ring. The song is by Toby Keith. Let me know if you don't know the song and I will put it on here.
I am thinking of downloading "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down. I will put those words on here to if needed. I have been trying to find the song I sung to her in our wedding but I haven't been sucessful or a song we shared together. Is this a good Idea
Last edited by paranoidHB; 01/07/07 12:10 AM.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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Morning all,
No, don't put that song on your cell - sounds desprite. You are wanting to sound strong and just being a great man that won't wait around forever. I'm not saying that you won't try for a while, but not forever.
Paint the DD room is a great idea. I've read many times about home projects being done.
You and the gym with the women looking remindes be of Bob pure's post in the tool kit of his. Have you read this? It's good.
****why would your ww keep talking to others or you or DD about the two of you IF she didn't see even a small chance of life with you?***** This is true even if it is talking bad about you or your M. If she didn't care at all she would be gone and never talk to or about you.
Please remind me - does OM have a wife?
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33 2 kids DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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