Got an idea

Take flowers for you daughter. Walk up to the door with them in hand. WW will see them and ROLL her eyes and just go whatever in her mind. Then you hand them to your daughter for HER.

As an afterthought, you go oops, almost forgot I did get you something WW. Run back to your car and get the donuts or coffee.

You could also encourage daughter to share 1 flower from the bouquet for WW....again, as an afterthought (but you can't go to overboard with the afterthought because you do want to make the impression of thoughtfulness)

Mr. Wondering

If coffee/donuts don't work for you. Fresh strawberries you picked up at the store cause they were having a good deal or they were 2 for 1. Heck, even a "perfect" apple is a gesture.

Excellent idea, Mr. W. Perfect!

I like that idea, Mr. W. One time I brought H a Coke b/c that's what he liked to drink. Sometimes it's the small things that catches the eye, not the overtly obvious ones.

Sounds good. I will buy 3 roses and DD will be able to give one to DD1 and WW.

I am going home today when I get off of work to shower and get ready to look my best. Then put a smile on and prepare myself for the encounter. Hope all goes well. I wish I could come up with a good line that would make her think because I know she has plans for the weekend. I would love to be able to say something that would stay on her mind the entire weekend.

pHB,

MrW. beat me to the donuts thing. I like this idea. Get 6 or 12 so she can leave them around the house. OM will see them and they will be there for your WW to have for a few days. Maybe starts trouble with WW and OM?????

If you do the flowers stay away from roses. Too much meaning behind them right now, too heavy. Go with something fun/light.

Now to leaving an idea in her head. Think back to a fun thing that happened with your family this time of year. Come up with 2 or 3 if you can. When you see your wife tell her that this time of year reminds you of the fun time when we........ How great it was that we did....... Our DD sure loved it that time when......... then say "I sure miss those times." "Enjoy the donuts, bye." Then leave it at that. Let her think about them herself.

your doing better than you think!!!

I like the snack idea better than the flower idea.

It is more thoughtful, w/o any sign of desperateness.

~ Marsh

10-4 on the doughnuts and I am trying to think of something that we did at this time last year. Or even close to this time. Not many memories from January but I am thinking.

Nothing major happened because I had to go to her work and pick up DD. I am waiting for the right time to give the donuts.

One thing that was interesting the DD told me was that WW and OM was talking on the phone last night and WW wanted someone to come over and watch a movie with her. OM didn't want that person to come over and hung up on her. WW called him back numerous times but he didn't answer. She didn't know whether she talked to him today. Now I wish I had did the donuts. But that just didn't seem like the right time. I was looking my best when I went up there and smiling the whole time. I was very upbeat in front of WW today, Hopefully I made some type of impression.

Let me know what you think?

You can never go wrong when you're upbeat & smiling HB. I'm sure WW took notice. SHe might not say anything just yet though. SHe's probably just observing.

WW never called to talk to DD after I picked her up. I know that being in plan A is for me to change and for her to notice. But knowing my WW as well as I do, I think she may be taking it as I have gave up on her or I have decided to move on and now she can justify her actions because I am doing nothing to show her I still care for her. She is a very very determined woman and when she sets her mind to do something, she does it regardless of the outcome. I think I may be playing into her game. I don't know this is so frustating.

PHB, You have to trust the plan.

You're planting seeds. They will take time to grow. And hopefully they will start to grow just about the time the A garden gets full of weeds.

She KNOWS you still want the M.

Enjoy your daughter and plan for your next battle.

~ Marsh

How does she know that. I told her a week or so ago that I was past all of that. I have been in plan A for a good 3 weeks now and I see no change. I know I am being a little impatient but I am just not doing anything that would show her that the marriage can and will work if she would just give it a shot.

What is my next battle? Is it when I take DD back tomorrow? Or is it a different time all together. I guess I just need to forget about it and let the chips fall as they will.

Plan A for 3 weeks.... do you mean months? If it is 3 weeks then you have a ways to go with Plan A.

You are still planting the seeds

M2L
I officially started Plan A on 1/4. Its just my patience in waring thin. Plus my taker is showing himself again. Sometimes I wish I could just take a woman out to dinner and a movie just for conversation purposes. I am sick and tired of talking and hanging out with GUYS all the time. I guess I need to go find BobPures thread and read it again.

Got it.

I know it get real old without the Mrs. around. This is why it's called one of the hardest things you may ever have to do. Trust me I know - 7 months of Plan A.

Did you come up with any things you have done in the past that you could mention to your ww?

Not that we did at this time. Usually Winter months was just hanging out around here. Very rarly did we do something. Now when March rolls around there are plenty of things because that is the month we got married. We always wents somewhere for our anniversary.

I may just keep that thought on standby for now. Maybe something will pop into my head at the right time.

You was in Plan A for 7 months? WOW I pray mine will not last that long. I don't know how much more of this I can stand. And its only been 23 days. I got a long way to go.

Maybe it doesn't have to be just this time of year.

how about:

WW, I was just thinking back to when we took DD to.....

I just came across a piture of when we..... it sure was funny / fun

I saw a show that reminder me of when our family would....


anything to get her to think about you, her and your DD and how fun / nice it was

Let it simmer in her mind while the donuts simmer in her belly.

OK I can come up with something like that. I was trying to think of something we did at this time last year so it possibly would make WW miss the family atmosphere.

How did you possibly make it 7 months? Did you not drive yourself crazy? I am now on AD's but at times I can't control my thoughts and that sometimes is enough to make me want to give up.

I hope and pray that I can be that strong.

Sure I wanted to give up too, but I keep my goal in mind. My kids. DS5 & DD2. Couldn't see them living between two homes and having a new "daddy" some of the time.

I won't lie to you, it was hard as anything I've ever done and more so. I wanted to quit and just live by myself. Then I got my a55 kicked by WAT, PEP and ML. Old pros who know their stuff. Came down to if I ever was going to man up this was the time.

I took one day at a time

One issue at a time

One talk with my ww at a time

I also Plan Aed my a55 off. I like the new me now and I did it for me, not to win her back. This is why the changes are sticking with me I think.

You have been at this whole thing longer than 3 weeks though so it does drag you down over time.

Hey, Sunday morn and donuts go good together. How about 12 donuts and a bag of coffee so your wife can make it at home. Let the OM smell that!!!

I haven't heard from WW since I picked up DD yesterday. I figure she has went out of town. That is what they normally do so they are not seen as much.

As for the donuts and stuff, I may do that tomorrow when I take DD back. Problem is, OM don't come around as much when WW has DD. Even if he did WW could say I got them at Wal-Mart. I'll do it anyway as a good gesture and to allow WW to know I am still there just not as persuasive as I use to be. Let her think about it for a while. I will just drop DD off and then leave and let the chips fall as they may.

I wish I would have started Plan A when all of this started. I thought I could do this own my own. Now I am 5 months behind and I feel I have lost to much ground.