We can't change the past. Boy if we could we could hire Bill Gates to clean our homes.

What you have done is done and you are here with this program and a new start at this thing.

Hey, have you been reading Dogfoods thread. His ww just busted him on posting here and now ww friend is posting to us here telling us how bad we are. Just thought I would tell you if you care to read it.

Any parent teach conf coming up that you and the Mrs could attend together? Any time you spend time with your wife puts a little more thought into the OM head. "What is Mrs pHb doing with her H?"

Remember, PHB, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon...pace yourself, take your time...

Plant a seed here and there.

Pray for the destruction of their A.

Take care of yourself and your DD.

Trust God for the future.

~ Marsh

I see you reading here. How's it going tonight?

No parent teacher conf. that I know of. WW finally called at 10pm.

I know its a marathon but I can't run that far yet. I have made it about the 1st mile but the next 25 will be grueling. I hope and can finish the race. With all of you helping me, I will finish, I just hope that WW is at the end to welcome me.

I know, I know.

How about the big game Sunday? Who do you take?

Just reread your post. What did WW say?

Start now with some trial baby-steps. Purchase a small bouquet of flowers and just set them in a vase on your kitchen table and don't say a word. Test the waters ever so gently and see if your W will meet for coffee or lunch.

If she declines, just say "ok, another time maybe". If she says yes, just stay away from R/M talks and just talk small talk. Give her a chance to see the new/improved pHB.

Baby steps...when you sense the time is right...

Best wishes,
SD

HB,

Just some words of encouragement. I was in my Plan A for 4 months. I was lucky & found this place & started Plan A right away as soon as H left. You have got to remember that this is God's time, not yours. I know your taker is getting into full swing & you're impatient, but work the program.

Trust me, listen to me carefully. Do not keep looking over your shoulder asking, Did she notice yet? God will give you signs of her noticing but you have got to trust Him to do that. You have got to give God time to work here. You cannot keep doing those things, looking over your shoulder, asking, Did she notice yet? Trust me, I'm speaking from experience. And I also found that each time the situation seemed to get worse, was when God was working the hardest.

Getting out & enjoying yourself is a biggie to fulfill your taker. Are there any church functions that you can attend w/your DD or by yourself? When you're alone, this is your time to be w/God. When I was by myself, when my H would take the kids for a few hours, I would play music (spiritual music mostly-uplifting, not slow), clean, dance, go visit my sister, call a friend & get together. That was MY time.

I can understand your concern about your W thinking you have moved on. I had the same concern b/c I just "knew" my H would think that. Guess what? He did. And it SCARED him. He thought to himself, 'Who's LB w/o ST there?' He was EXPECTING me to pine away for him forever. I don't know. Gave him some kind of ego trip. When he saw that I still WANTED him but I didn't NEED him, he thought twice about moving on himself w/o me. Your W KNOWS that you want to reconcile. You do not need to tell her over & over again. Concentrate on making the changes necessary to improve yourself, make yourself a godlier man. Your W will take notice. She may not be VOCAL about it, but she will take notice. My H always seemed so strong whenever he was around me. He rolled his eyes at me; he kept telling me 'I don't love you, get over it.' But, secretly, he was crying himself to sleep at night, tossing & turning, looking at my picture that I had given him (which he had originally packed away in a suitcase but when he started missing me, he took it out again & put it on his dresser). Face it -- she will not tell you right now if she is thinking about you & missing you.

I promised you some prayers for your W. Here they are:

"In the name of Jesus satan, I speak to you by the authority of God's word & I speak to the spirit of subtlety & mischief that manifests in OM's (insert his name) life that dares to pervert WW (insert her name) from the right ways of God. In the name of Jesus, I bind his influence over my W & I proclaim that his words & influence come to naught in WW's mind now in the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus I cast subtlety & your host OM far from WW NOW!"

"If there is a messenger for WW, a mediator, one among a thousand, to show WW His uprightness, then He is gracious to WW & says, "Deliver WW from the Pit; I have found a ransom; WW's flesh shall be young like a child's, WW shall return to the days of her youth. WW shall pray to God, & He will delight in WW, WW shall see His face w/joy, for He restores to WW His righteousness. Then WW will look at men & say, "I have sinned, & perverted what was right, & it did not profit me." WW will redeem her soul from going down to the Pit & WW's life shall see the light."

"Father, I ask for a quick & complete work in our M & family now in Jesus' name, amen & amen."

(Taken from The King's Gardeners Minstries)

Couldn't sleep so I thought I would catch up a little.

M2L
I am a NFC fan but I have to go with Peyton next Sunday. The Bears D will be tough. 24-10 Colts

I let DD answer phone so I didn't talk to her. I have been doing that recently. I figure if she wants to talk to me she will ask. Funny thing is she still answers most of the time when I call to talk to my DD.

SD
What would the bouquet of flowers in my house do for me. WW never comes here or I never go in her house.
I have been thinking about the lunch thing, I may do that sometime this week. It just has to at the appropriate time.

ST
Thanks for the prayers, I needed them. I feel that I have been praying the same prayer over and over. It will be good to add this to my prayers. I also have been trying to give my taker as much as possible. I do find myself laughing a lot more now than before. Sometimes though it just weighs me down and I feel so lonely that I just want to give up. That I would love to have dinner and a movie with someone of the OS. I know that wouldn't be right, but its tempting. I have fought a good fight so far and asked God for help in that area.

I just have a lot of things to process right now and it consumes me totally. The reason I couldn't sleep was I had a dream that WW came home but was sleeping in another room. I went to go check on her and OM was with her. I immediatly woke up and have not been sleepy since because I know that is the case right now wherever she is.

3 weeks....LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

How long did you think this would take? My WW broke up with OM almost 3 months ago, and I can't even get a kiss. Dr. Harley recommends 6 months for plan A (or continue with plan A if OM and WW break up but she still refuses to commit to the M). When are you going to hit the OM with the AOA? I think that will lead to major problems in paradise. I can't wait! In the meantime, just keep up the good work.

You've been praying...haven't you???

You see...you and your wife are one. The same demons attacking her are "in" you also. They don't like what you are doing, praying and rebelling against. They don't like the confidence and swagger you are regaining. Thus, they attack you in your dreams and in your subconcious trying desparetly to get you back into submission, appeasement and enablement mode.

What's great about this is YOU do have the ability to exorcise them from you both, as "one". In fact, I was told by my wife that demons can't hear your inner prayers, which is why we often pray silently to God because He can, thus, the prayers above specifically addressing demons should be said aloud and with prejudice. Such that they do not fail to comprehend your intent and demands.

I actually came face to face with a demon in my dreams in the spring of 2005. I woke up kicking and yelling as I attacked him. I remember specifically yelling at the shadowy figure to "leave my wife alone" before it attacked me. I'm typically a very happy dreamer. It's was poignantly unique and symbollic to me. I KNEW I was having an effect.

Think about this: If you were a demon...what would try to make the BH host, in your position, dream to destroy his hope, faith, security, etc.????

YOU are making them/it uncomfortable.

Mr. Wondering

I don't think you ought to pass up too many opportunities to speak to your WW. I don't think it's a bad idea to pull back some by not answering every time she calls though.

Try to think of something casual or funny to say to her when she calls to speak to DD. Ask her things? How SO and So is..How work is.. How her mother is... Not all at once, but a little bit here and there...try to engage her in conversation...You want to meet her EN for conversation.

And remember, don't argue w/ her, just listen...

~ Marsh

Mr. W, I got chills from reading your post.

I did feel "possessed" by something while I was in my A. I constantly had a cold, dead feeling. *shudders*

HB,

I remember during the course of the A, I had a dream that my BIL was at my house & one of my kids tried answering the door when they heard a knock. They didn't recognize the person, so they shut the door. This person tried like he77 to burst their way in. This person was dressed all in black & the whole house was pitch black. I kept crying out for my BIL, but he didn't hear me. All of a sudden a light appeared out of nowhere & I was running toward that light, but I couldn't get to it. All of a sudden the light encompassed the whole entire house. Then I woke up. Let me translate for you:

The person trying to break in was the OW. My BIL represented my H (they're twins). My son represented my family. The blackness represented this whole darkness surrounding me. The light represented you-know-who <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. What happened right before I woke up? God surrounded my entire house. Good won! It triumphed! THat dream was very encouraging for me & it just re-emphasized that I was on the right path. THat reconciliation was coming, I just had to be patient.

Now onto your dream -- I see that dream as a representation as well. I see it as an insight into your WW's mind a little bit. Do you see the confliction in your dream? Your WW was HOME, although sleeping in a different part of the house, she was HOME. THe OM was there yes when you walked in, so that probably means her mind is torn right now. Her thoughts are home, but the OM is still in the picture. Now what does this mean? If her thoughts are turning toward home, even for the slightest moment, you need to keep those thoughts coming. One of those prayers I gave you will help & also keeping on the path that you've been heading. It's not going to be easy. As a matter of fact, it will probably be the most difficult thing you've ever had to do in your entire life, but will it be worth it? Your WW coming back home & being repentful? You bet. There's nothing more important than getting her soul right w/God right now. Do you have the book, Power of a Praying Husband ? THat would be helpful as well.

If you're having trouble w/temptation, I would suggest getting into God daily, all day if you have to. Consume yourself w/Him. That's what He's there for. How about a Bible study program? When you're having dinner, set an extra plate. Jesus will join you. When you go to a movie, leave an extra seat for Jesus. When you go to the gym, thank Him for coming along to watch. Talk to Him as He's sitting next to you in your car. He is your best friend right now. Enjoy Him. Laugh w/Him. Cry w/Him. I know you've done a lot of those things so far; I just want to re-emphasize them. The more you consume yourself w/God, the less room you have inside for the devil to tempt. And I also want to emphasize this statement from Marsh:

Thanks for all the encouraging words all. WW called DD and DD talked her into staying another night with me. It wasn't that hard to convince her.

I did answer the phone and I was half asleep when she called and didn't really know what I was saying and I called her Honey. She didn't say anything about it when I said it.

I knew if I posted my dream on here that my fellow MBer's would help me understand it. I will keep praying and praying aloud so that satan will move from my WW because I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MY MARRIAGE!

Since I am dropping her off in the morning that would be a great time to give donuts. It is amazing how that worked out.

What do I do if I get over there to drop DD offin the morning and OM is there? That is a big fear for me right now.

It's amazing how God works isn't it? I'm continually amazed by the things God does that can be so subtle at times.


Do not let him get a rise out of you. Behave Christ-like at all times. Does your WW usually answer the door? If she does, smile, drop her off, give WW the donuts & say, "Here are some donuts I picked up for you. Have a good day." Give your DD a kiss & be on your way. Keep it simple.

Do you have another place you can drop her off at?

Can you call your WW first?

Can you just keep DD w/ you (in the car) while you lean on your horn until he leaves?

~ Marsh

OK I dropped DD off this morning and gave WW the donuts and everything was fine. I left and came to work. Then about 20 minutes ago I received a phone call from WW telling me I needed to talk to DD because she was hollering at WW. I asked why? WW said everytime she comes back from your house she is like this. I said she was fine when I left, what happened? Then I heard DD say that OM's kid's had been playing with my DD stuff and coloring in one of DD's book. I was being blamed for this. I said WW I can't help you with this, she was fine when I left and I can't and won't argue with you. I am at work right now and WW hung up. She called back and fussed about the donuts I brought, she said DD don't need anymore sweets and hung up.

Now I was ok until all of this and here it slaps me in the face again and I had nothing to do with this one. I really would like to email her a response but I am upset and I really don't know what to say. I know she is blaming all of this on me, and she is telling everyone that I am causing all of this. How could I tell her in a nice way that what happened this morning was not my fault? I am at a loss. Please help!

Don't let her suck you in to an argument. Just listen to her vent. Let her know that you are listening. Don't accept blame for anything, but just listen to her.

If OM is over at WW's place, take a picture of their cars in the driveway with the timestamp, and save these as evidence of the AOA lawsuit. Make sure he leaves before you drop your DD off. Let your WW know this in advance that he must be gone if you are going to drop off your DD.

She didn't suck me in this time. I did tell her that this was her problem because DD was fine when I dropped her off and all weekend. I told WW we didn't even talk about it this weekend. I didn't accept blame.

I already have pix and he knows not to be there when I am Dropping DD off. He was not there this morning.