No not because OW. I received peace about moving on with my life and then it was almost a month before I talked to OW. Not trying to defend what I am doing but it will be real hard for me to ever trust again. Especially since I think WW is lying to me. I have no proof of that, just a gut feeling. I left the door open for her a few minutes ago so I will see how she responds.

PHB,

I think you are making this far too complicated and in some ways you have the wrong ideas. Please allow me to explain. One, thing for sure is that you WILL NOT forget, you SHOULD NEVER FORGET. So quit wondering if you can forget what your W did to you. You need to remember, but what you will eventually need to do, but not necessarily now is forgive her. If she were to come back and be W rather than the alien WW, you might find that with time that the feelings attached to the memories will fade. But, the memories won't fade and they should not or you would not have learned anything.

Next, piece of advice your W is really the alien WW right now and until she has finished her A. However, her calling you is a sign that she is not ready to let you go. You don't need to pursue her, you should be pleasant when you do interact with her. However, if you want to pursue OW, then you need to file for divorce because what you are saying is you have given up. If you have not given up, then OW has to be out.

Simple right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> But, it is not easy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I will leave you with this joke to emphasize what I am saying.

There were these two old cowboys sitting on the fence with the heels of their boots hooked over a railing. They are watching a rodeo and this young cowboy getting himself set on a big bull. The cowboy's friend is holding the lead as the cowboy wraps and rewraps the lead around his gloved hand. His friend is giving him some last minute advice.

He tells the cowboy, "Listen you are leading, all you have to do is stay on this bull 8 seconds and you have the championship won. It is really that simple."

One onld cowboy leans over to the other and says, "That ole boy over there is about to learn the difference between simple and easy."

PHB, you are getting ready for another ride, it really is simple, but...it is not easy. Don't make it harder or more complicated than it is.

If you even think you want to remain married to the woman you married, W, then you must give the woman you see, WW, time to leave. You cannot do that while involved with OW yourself. It is your call, and frankly you have virtually ALL of the control of this right now. You stay, you go, it is your call. WW has little to offer, but perhaps W is peaking out of the fog. Think about it.

Hope this helps.

God Bless,

JL

The last couple days have been just like the past week. WW would call ask my dumb questions and just want to talk. I was always nice and listened to her. Sunday night as we was going to bed I decided to call her. She was totally different than days past. Short answers and she wouldn't tell me where she was. I knew better than to believe the things she had been saying. I have no proof that she was with OM but I almost would bet on it. I am glad I didn't go back belly up for her just to be hurt again.

PHB, How are you doing? Could you give us an update? Praying for you & your DD.

WOW A lot of time has past since I have been on here. But f anyone is left here's a quick update: WW still with other man and her family is accepting. Me still alone. I haven't done everything right but I am still alone and she is still with him. Seems as if this A will be for good. DD8 is still emotional wreck but growing to accept or deal with.

PHB,

So what are YOUR plans for your life? Have you started to think about the things YOU would like to do with your life? Have you included your daughter in your plans? Are the two of you going on a vacation? If not consider it.

You can do nothing about your WW, but you sure can do something about your life, your goals, your friends, your family and your daughter. Focus on these things and ENJOY your life.

God Bless,

JL

PHB-

Did you ever go to a plan B?

Do you think it would have any affect now? How was/is your plan A going?

I have not made a whole lot of plans other than trying to survive this finacial crunch. A vacation is out of the question because I don't have any money left after paying bills. Its funny how WW can leave, have affair, go out of town every other weekend, take a 7 day cruise, not pay any bills and I am stuck with everything. I was and still am the victim. If I did decide to have a GF I couldn't afford it.

As far as DD, we are closer than ever B4. WW thinks I am brainwashing her but she is 8 and knows right from wrong. I told WW that was raised a good child and that is why she doesn't agree with what she is doing. I continue to spend as much time as possible with her because the court system is so screwed up in NC it doesn't even recognize adultry.

Owl- I never planned B because I was physically drained and I felt I had nothing left for WW. I moved on. If God has other plans, then I will cross that bridge.

My plan A was ok, I look & feel better than I have in 15 yrs. Its just gonna take some time for me to heal. I do have more good days than bad now. Thats a blessing.