I obviously have had a past. I was married for 10 years, have been divorced from the ex for 6 years. In between my ex husband and my current marriage (been married 5 months), I had one serious boyfriend. Obviously, there are the odd things from the past that come up. For example, my kids needed to take a family photo to school, so they took and old one that included my ex. Just recently I renewed an old membership to a wholesale club and my previous co-applicant was my ex boyfriend (hadn't been renewed in three years). While I know it isn't pleasant to hear that, it threw my husband in a total funk. If I have to discuss a child issue with the ex-husband, he gets upset with me for being too nice.
I am supposed to understand when that happens in his situation (it happens more to me than him as he hasn't lived here as long as I have so his history is a little shorter).
Recently my son has a new hockey coach. I made the mistake of mentioning this coach was an ex-boyfriend (from high school and I am in my 30's) and now I am uncomfortable to talk to this coach in front of my husband. My husband is unreasonable with accusing me of having feeling for this man. He is married, I am married and it was an innocent dating thing. I didn't have sex with him and it was only for a month. I find I am changing who I am to keep the peace. I am not a flirt but I can't even be friendly???
I find alot of things where he is unreasonable. I am feeling smothered. What do I do?

Judging from your post, it does not sound like you are doing anything that would warrant such a strong emotional reaction. Just as a curiosity, how much discussion did you and your now husband have on each others pasts? I am recently remarried and my now wife and I spent alot (including some pre-marital counseling sessions) of time discussing the issues from our past marriages/relationships so as to better understand the needs we each had AND to make sure that each of our expectations on issues were known ahead of time. Did you know that he had these insecurities before or are they now cropping up?

Without knowing more about your situation,my guess would be that your husband has some major issues with being able to trust - perhaps he was hurt by a woman in his past and has never worked on letting those feelings go. Just a guess.

Good luck. [color:"purple"] [/color]

I would have to say that this has come up more since the marriage. Part of it could be that my ex moved back to town a few months ago. He is remarried and I don't have those kinds of feelings for him. It was a difficult divorce initiated by me. I had never wavered - once we split - we split - no going back and forth.
I know he divorced his first wife. She lives in another country so running in to her isn't an issue. They didn't have anything in common and he left. They got back together for awhile and either she got pregnant or she was pregnant by someone else when they split and they had another child. They lasted 10 years after the child was born, both living very separate lives. He had been apart from her for close to fifteen years before we hooked up. We don't talk alot about the past. I don't dwell on things. The only reason I told him about the coach is that my son knew that we had dated in high school and while I didn't think it was important, I didn't want everyone knowing about it other than my husband. He has told me about casual dates he has had before me. I don't get jealous and I think that bothers him.