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So you told her?

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htsal Offline OP
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yes I told her

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Well...give us an update so we can help you with damage control. We'll tell you how to respond to some of the things she says and how to get her to open back up to you again.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Hang on to the fact that you did the right thing, and 2007, although starting off with a great deal of difficulty can end up to be one of your best years ever.

You cannot fix what you don't admit is broke, and you have come to terms with that! We all know it's really tough for you right now, and it may even get tougher. We also know that with the help of Dr. Harley's philosophy and this website we can guide you and support you to much brighter days.

Just know in your heart you have done the right thing!!!

Best wishes,
SD


BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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[color:"red"] AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN 5 SHORT CHAPTERS [/color]

Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost..I am helpless,
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again!
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in.....it’s a habit,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V
I walk down another street.

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yes I told her

this morning
I went to my H's early AA meeting
to give him his AA birthday cake
(he's 11 ... and he celebrates for an entire week ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />)

and I love going to AA meetings
meeting the wonderful folks who once were lower than a snake's belly ... and have struggled with their demons and have been willing to move forward in a new, emotionally honest , healthier way of living

it is so inspirational to meet people who were WAY down at the BOTTOM of the PIT, but refused to dwell there

your infidelity experience does NOT give you a note excusing you from making something good out of your life

you remain responsible for your own choices from this day forward to make yourself a better man

quit lying to yourself
quit excusing yourself from life

offer yourself up to your wife with a willing heart to go through the rough stuff together

and
Happy NEW Year

Pep

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Quote
offer yourself up to your wife with a willing heart to go through the rough stuff together
and I might add... "hand in hand"!

You can be a mighty inspiration to yourself, and others! Your bravery will not go unnoticed!

Hang in there...
SD


BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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htsal...

You doing ok?


BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
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Posts: 2,959
Still hoping for an update...^bump^


BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
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Posts: 2,959
^^^one^^^last^^^bump^^^


BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 146
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htsal- didn't have time to read all the posts in detail, but I'm getting the picture. Do you think any of this has to do with pay-backs?? I'm a BW, and I've thought frequently about payback. My H has never been jealous, always had blind faith. I always think about giving him a taste of his own medicine. But, I'm afraid I could easily get tangled up in it like you have, and I am definitely vulnerable to an A right now.

Honeslty, the only thing stopping me is my kids, but sometimes I even think- he had his fun, why can't I- I deserve at least one A, or EA at least without it tearing our family apart. Why does he get to have all of this adoration from OW while all I get are his half a---- attempts at affection. I'm just wondering if any of this crossed YOUR mind before your A's.


me- 34, BW
WH- 39
2DD- 6yr old, 3yr old
DD- 2/06
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