So WW and I have been having this dance for the past couple of months, we both are plan B'ing each other. She doesn't want contact with me or much of anyone because of the affair. I on the other hand have tried to stay out of contact with her. Its hard with 3 young kids. We are also have a court case going on that is putting a lot of stress on her.
We had me arrested for domsestic trespass, that got thrown out by the judge last week.... She went to the DA's desk afterwords and I could hear her ask about a RO... DA said their is no case so there can't be a RO, you have to ask for that via the domestic court.... She wants an RO to prevent me from being around her when she has the kids. like at any of there events if its her time I can't be around. I am the only thing that she has to remind her of the her actions, her folks are fully supporting her.

I think I am dealing with an OM and MIL that is trying to capture back a daughter she lost long ago.

Even though she wants to claim primary custody, I have had the girls over 80% of the time since the separation. Now that she is moved out - we both are out of the marital home - she is faced with fending for herself, I am giving her CS and helping a bit but not making it comfortable for her, MIL is makeing up any difference. WW still works only 24-28 hrs a week, so she not going to make enough, plus CS to survive that is why she is fighting for more CS and Alimony.

Anyways she is messed up because OM is 100's miles away and because of exposure and continued pressure he has technically broken up with her, but still they talk nightly and daily. I see him as much in the fog as she is, but he has a history of doing this. He is still married and living with his ex and kids.

Anyways, I felt compelled to release the anger I feel so I took some baked lasagana I had in the frezer and some frozen broccoli with cheese and made up dinner and tonight when she came to pick up the girls, the girls took out dinner with them so they could eat dinner with mom

I really believe my marriage is over, not by my choice its just the realization of the maturity level of the WW before the A. She is 32yr old going on 16 and treats people that way, if you spite her or challenge her, its almost impossible to get back on her good graces.

But i do try.

I forget - have you notified the OM's wife?

Also, if you have the children 80% of the time, you need to go for custody.

And she should pay YOU child support.

Just be strong and remember that you did not send the dinner home for the WW. But you sent it so your children would have food to eat. Take care of the kids, let the WW fend for herself. If she benefits from the food then that is OK. But be strong and be there for the children.

My WW is 44 going on 16 and telling everyone that she is 30something. SO I know how you feel. Everything that I say and do in someway upsets my WW. Her OM is also more then 100 miles away, and last I heard is dating another woman.

All I can tell you is that it is her that needs to come around and figure out who she is. You know who you are and be you for yourself and the kids.
Make the Divorce hard, fight for the kids and fight the RO. You have as much right to be at the events as she does. If it get nasty counter sue her and call the OM as a witness.

Keep your head up

So tonight I had to send home with the girls a copy of an email I received from HER lawyer outlining out visitation for the holiday's. WW thought she could pick up the kids on friday night and have them again with her... but no the agreement says I have them Friday and Saturday night. WW is getting very sticky about overnights, she knows its the CS factor. but I have them 80% of their waking day, I pick them up from school and she picks them up at night to take them home to put them to bed.

Keep Records, Keep detailed hand written records on how much you have the kids and when she picks them up. Records for how much money you spend to support them on food and clothes and any thing else that you spend money on. Make sure that this is dated and hand written in ink.
The Courts do not like typed computer generated things.

The courts love record keeping and anything that you can supply them is helpful