Hi ALL,
This is my first time posting on MB, and after reading what others posted, i figured someone can help me.
I've been with my husband for 4 years, just recently married this May and we have a 2 year old son together. Everything was great up until this past weekend. i was invited to a cousins birthday party a month prior. My husband said he would go, but as the date approached he changed his mind. I didnt mind, because his family was coming up for the holidays, so i went to the party to see my family for a little bit. My cousins house is about an hour and a half distance, so it was a pretty long drive, i picked up my best friend and headed down. at around midnight he called me to ask me if i got there ok, what time would i be home, etc...though i didnt think much of it, the minute i hung up the phone i turned to my friend and told her that i had a bad feeling something was going to happen. I went to the party, enjoyed seeing my family and headed back home.
Now, i'm not one of those who snoops around, because sometimes i feel if u look for trouble ur bound to find it, so i just trusted my husband. The morning after, however, something told me to look at our phone bill. So i went online, and i was shocked to see a repeated phone number with the last call being at 1am. I went to his office and hit redial on the phone, and sure enough, it was that number. I was so upset, to the point that i just wanted to take my son and our things and leave the house.
I have never felt so awful and betrayed.
I didnt mention anything the whole day because it was christmas, and i didnt want to ruin it for my son. He knew something was up though, he kept asking me if everything was alright. Finally that night around 4am i just couldnt sleep, i kept tossing and turning and he woke up and asked me what was the matter. I couldnt hold it in and i just asked him straight out. Are you cheating on me? Do you want to be with me? etc.. He told me hes wasnt. I asked him what he did while i was at the party and he told me spoke to a friend. i asked him who it was and he said she was a therapist of some sort who worked with him and that he felt he needed to talk to her because he thought our marriage was falling apart. You see, for the past few months he's been stressed out about his brother and father going through financial difficulties, his hours are m-f 10-9 and he was upset that he wasnt spending enough time with me and our son. He said he went back to smoking and even wanting to go for a couple drinks after work, because he didnt know how to handle it. And this woman, who by the way is married with 2 kids, is helping him. My thing is this. I'm his wife, i'm supposed to be his best friend. why not come to me first? why discuss OUR relationship with someone else?
He said he doesnt have friends, and that its sometimes easier to vent out on a stranger that doesnt know what is going on. I'm so skeptical about this whole issue. In my heart i do believe he IS NOT cheating, but then again i have that doubt. He also said he was concerned about other issues in our marriage. I don't know if its jealousy because he is speaking to a woman? I'm just so confused. This is the first time i've been so hurt.
Am i over reacting?
Today i asked him to write me a letter, and i'll do the same to him, talking about our thoughts, feelings, any problems we have and what we can do to help each other and fix whatever problem we have.
But should i believe him? i'm so confused! and just the thought that he works with her gets me so p o'd!...
Any suggestions?
Thanks for ur help!
Last edited by SHORTY7; 01/03/07 07:42 PM.
