Her "friend" text messaged her to meet her somewhere back in november when I was supposed to take the youngun hunting.
We had gotten new phones and she thought she had disabled her old one, but I had used it for aan alarm and these text messages were in it from her old boss. I took pictures to confront her later. I hid a recorder in her car to get the conversations and saved them to a disk.

Her phone rings back in november and I say it's her "friend" and she rolls her eyes at me and says II', an idiot.The youngun gets the phone and sure enough it's him and he is stupid enough to leave her a voice message.

The wife goes into denial mode, then I confront her with the other phone. I call mer neighbor up the street and he is calling from california on a cruise ship, he had called to say he missed her. I told him we were gonna talk when he gets back and wifey thinks it's over and done and she's off the hook as he denied everything.

I play the conversations and she stomps the recorder to "destroy the evidence". I had backed everything up to a cd.

I have a spare recorder and left it in the car. The nexa freaking day she is talking to her busybody having an affair with a deacon friend and is complaining about me finding out and is ****** bent on the denail tactic her friend is coaching her on when she said that if I was killed tomorrow, she would be thrilled.

The next day I get freaking shot at the range and I've spent the past month in the hospital.

She was REAL attentive in the ambulance for the 70 mile ride to the hospital, but once surgery was over and she found out I would live, off she went.

SHe has done nothing but belittle me all through rehab, and start fights.

Now that I'm better, I am going to drop a nuke on mr jerk and family. I have been putting pix of the text messages in his mailbox for his wifey to find, but he has intercepted them. Plan B is to go see his wifey at work, but I really want his kids to see the expression on her face when I give her the news and hopefully she will fly off the handle and gut him like a fish.

How did you get shot??

Pariah,

Do yourself a BIG favor and let someone else hold all your guns until this is completely over.

Best of luck

He's armed, an ex marine and threatening me..
No way am I going to be a victim.

I got shot accidentally at a cowboy action shoot practice. It was a total accident.

Pariah,

If I'm reading this right, sounds like you want innocent children to pay for an adult's transgressions. Tell me that's not your intention please.

Also the comment above regarding "gut him like a fish". You don't mean this literally, do you?

Jo

My family is destroyed, and so two is company..

that may be the case, but your wife and her OM made those choices. Do not lower yourself to a level where you intentionally use children.

It's his wife's choice how she handles it, not mine.

The children are as he put it merely casualties of war.

He nuked my child, time to return the favor.

Exposure is a tool, right?

not that kind of exposure.

Exposure to his wife, yes.

To other adults who can put pressure on the adulturers to end the adulturous relationship, yes.

Expose to his wife and yes, let her handle it with her children as she sees fit.

Do you realize what this did to my child as he was the one to discover it at our dinner table, not even an hour after we got bac from a counselor for him threatening suicide?

I believe my moral compass is damaged beyond repair right now and nuking it is.

Pariah,

Its not like I haven't worn your shoes and then some. So I'm about to make a suggestion that will feel like a 2x4 to you, so brace yourself.

You need to get a handle on your anger. Its consuming you and your judgement in a very destructive way. The only person your anger is going to harm the most IS YOU.

There are hundreds if not thousands of folks on here who are experiencing the same horrific situation you are, but are dealing with it thru grace and patience. But more importantly they are taking the opportunity to be the BEST person they can be while going thru it.

Read their stories and realize you're not alone and there are better more constructive ways to get thru this.

The owner of Anger only serves to destroy itself, Pariah

God Bless,
Jo

You would be better off hiring an army of sandwich board men (not that I recommend that), than deliberately trying to hurt someone else's children, just because of what their father did.

Expose all day and all night, rent paid programming, do whatever you need to do to get the word out, but leave the kids out of it!

You are not seeing clearly right now, understandably, but the day will come when you will regret it if you do not behave with honor.

Your moral compass is damaged, sure, but ours is not, so LISTEN to what people are telling you until it starts working again.

Don't hurt the little people!

I agree with the concensus here; leave the kids out. You say he did this to your child without a thought, but don't lower yourself to his standards.

By all means, tell the OMW, but not in the presence of his children.

I hope you get a good attorney and be able to present all of the facts to the judge. I hope you will go for full custody.

Pariah...

I remember you.

Do I have this correct...that the OM is a neighbor in your neighborhood?

And you didn't move before contact was made again?

You guys were in no contact, right? Or is this another OM?

LA

A singing telegram to OM?

Anything (legal) but to destroy those kids.

Do you still want to save your marriage?

Pariah,

You have to get a grip on yourself here man.

All BS’s know that this is probably the most difficult time that you will ever face in your life.

What you have to do for YOURSELF is to stop the non productive wasteful efforts of energy that are not going to help your M.

You have to make a decision here and stick with it. If you decide to stay with your WW then MB has an excellent plan for you that will, with a highly likely degree of probability, usher in the end of your W’s A in a much more efficient manner.

Hurting OM’s W is not your goal.
Hurting OM’s children is not your goal.
Hurting OM is not your goal.

Hurting OM’s A with your W is your goal.

Take it from me and other BS’s; you WILL REGRET acting without honor while dealing with this A. I promise you that will be the case no matter what the outcome of your M as you look back on this in the future.

Exposure of the A to OM’s W and people that are close to her like her parents, coworkers, and people of religious import are what are going to shine the light on this A and steal the excitement from it.

Protect yourself by hiring an attorney and advise him of your goal to either work on your M while protecting yourself or divorce her right out.

Keep any recordings handy that you have and gather your intelligence.

Good luck.

The "wife" is staying civil because she can't pay the house by herself.

The child is my stepson and I can not get custody, but he loves me more than his father.

He refused to leave my side in the ambulance and they had to tear him from the gurney as they wheeled me into surgery.

My stepson is now afraid that I'm going to leave and he is probably right as I can't stand to be in the same proxcimity as my "wife" any longer.

She told me that nobody wants me, not even my own twin brother, yet he was the only one who stayed the night with me in the hospital.

I'm out of physical therapy and have had a downright miraculous recovery and can function just fine on my own now.

The "wife" claims she has no contact, but I had found that she had changed a family member's number in her phone to his. When she discovered this, she promptly deleted it.

I am going to call his wife today and arrange a meeting, but I don't trust her. I want to give her the whole package of evidence and I will tell his pastor myself since he's a deacon in his "church".

Doncha jus loooove "good christians"?

Interesting how she makes the comment "if he were killed tomorrow" and then you get shot the next day.

I don't believe in coincidence.

How convinced are you that it was an accident? Could someone have deliberately made the mistake that got you shot? Something set up by your wife, or her friend?

Seems like you might want to give this some thought.

When are you REALLY going to expose this to his wife and family and friends?

Now...I agree with the comments about anger that you've recieved...you'd better check that at the door before you proceed any further. Get some counseling...for you, for your kids. Don't know what you've read about plan A here, but it's still your best bet...both carrot and stick of it.

Pariah,

Do you have any male friends to talk to, to go see? Please do this. Yell to them about how mad you are. Maybe even leave your guns with them for now.

Yell to us if you want. Most everyone here can feel your pain and then some. Don't drop down to the OM level. Be a man now for your stepson - he needs the help. Leave the OM kids out of this crap! Let them learn to hate their dad for what he did to their mother.

What do you say?

M2L