Dear MB friends,

Well I did the two years of holding out hope. My H sent me a text saying he was sad on our wedding anniversary on Dec 26th. I text him that I still didn't understand why he wouldn't consider what we would need to do to salvage the marriage. Well that aparently was the wrong response....he is asking about where we are with the financial details so we can get the divorce done.

I just am having a hard time accepting the divorce. I never wanted a divorce. I'm embaressed to be divorced. I accept my role in the deterioration of our marriage, but there is still enough love between us to warrant an effort at reconcilation.

H drove 400 miles to spend Christmas wil me, my sister and parents. He bought everyone expensive gifts. He seemed happy to be there. He was well recieved by my family. He wants me involved in my step grand children. Since this is his third marriage I guess he is pretty clear about what he would like his divorce to look like.

Anyway - just feeling scared this AM and thought I'd post. I feel like I just want to crawl in a hole. Everyone thinks I'll feel better once the legal stuff gets done so I need to get going with it...I guess.

I feel powerless in the financial negotations. He had me sign a pre-nup..so he will keep his millions and I won't get much. I'll be ok, but it seems unfair since I was a good wife to him for many years. I helped him heal his relationship with his children, and created a happy home for his family to come and visit.

Oh - I know none of that matters. What matters is - he wants the divorce and there is nothing I can do about it...

Get a good lawyer. Most pre-nupts won't hold up in court if there's a lot of money at stake. I think the basis is that in the pre-nutp you are giving away your rights, but if you don't get something in return, in compensation for those rights, it's not a binding contract. I'm not a lawyer, so don't quote me. Anyway, unless he settle money on you, or gave you money at the time of signing the pre-nupt. you probably can fight it.

Get the best possible attorney and interview a lot.

Of course, I'm assume there are truly millions at stake, and you've been his wife at least a decade or so, and you don't have oodles of your own money.

I was embarassed about my marriage problems, and about my divorce. I've gotten over it. No one else thinks much about it. It seems normal to people. Isn't that sad?

Thanks GG...

I did talk to a pitbull lawyer. He said not to fight it...it is well written. He sited as an example the Barry Bonds case - prenup signed on the way to the wedding in a language the bride didn't even understand! It held up!

Yes, he truly does have millions and I truly don't. I asked him for a small precentage of his net worth and he has countered with less! Frankly that insulted me.

So life goes on. I'll work with my lawyer and once he knows it will be a two way neogitation - he'll probably get pissed and then offer nothing...