Sometimes when I'm sitting here reading I wish my H could read it too. Other times, I'm so glad he doesn't. I don't believe that all betrayers go through withdrawal after the affair. My H's affair was 2 weeks long. Could he really have withdrawal? I don't even want to plant the idea in his head. I know some of you had longer affairs in your relationship and I can understand that there might be withdrawal. I just feel like it might now be good for a betrayer to get the idea that withdrawal is a natural part of this. Am I making sense at all? <P>My depression and hopelessness are growing. I can't be (in the same country)physically with my H until Dec and he is just so closed off from me. It makes me wonder if I should just save myself a lot of pain and manipulation and just move on. I've gotten pretty much used to being alone now. I love him, but I'm tired of feeling like I'm always the only one trying to have anything that resembles a relationship.

My H's affair was 4-5 weeks. He was walking away when I discovered it.<P>I don't think he developed a deep emotional connection and really didn't even like her once he got to know her (it started when she kissed him at a bar).<P>I do not think he went through withdrawl from her, although I think he went through a period that he was torn between justification, disbelief and remorse. Remorse won and when it did, things got a lot easier.<P>With the pregnancy, it makes things a lot more complicated.<P>Still answering your question, withdrawl did not seem to be a problem for my H.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Lynn<BR>My H had a "friendship" with the OW for 7 years. The affair lasted 4 months ( the most intense part). Once it was over he showed ABSOLUTELY NO signs of withdrawal.<BR>We are talking about a very long relationship here. I was prepared for the worst. It is possible that his withdrawal took place while he was trying to end the affair. Maybe it truly ran it's course so there were no residual feelings. I have no idea. <BR>The only signs he ever showed of withdrawal were during the month that he was talking to her 5 - 10 times a day on the phone. I can think of a few possibilities to explain this. All I can say is that I was very lucky.

My H knew OW for over 25 years. He made the decision to end it after I did some really dirty emotional blackmail (Which he said later on was the best thing I could have ever done, though I still feel the guilts over that one!) Anyhow, he walked away and has stated on several occassions that he doesn't even think of her. I think he's lying to himself but he does that really well. He's a very determined individual and once he made up his mind to give her up it was over in his mind. But I still feel as thought there are moments, like recently at a family party that she was at, that he would like to still have some kind of relationship with her. He said no, that she really killed any kind of emotion he had for her with what she did after he ended it. (She went and told the biggest big mouth in his family all about it though she usually never tells her anything and pleaded with him that she had to have SOMEONE to talk to about it. Real winner, huh?)<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P>

My affair was only 2 or 3 weeks long...however I've known the OM for over a year and that's when the emotional affair started (whether I knew it or not).<P>It's possible for him to be going through withdrawl if he was friends with the OW in the first place.<P>I think it's a good thing if the betrayer knows that withdrawl is a natural part of ending an affair. That way they understand why they are having these feelings. If your husband doesn't know what withdrawl is he might interpret it for "love" for the OW.<P>Don't give up, however. He will get over it eventually!