OM's W may be exposing...really exposing...WHAT???

Let me clarify. Got a call this afternoon. Seems H's BIL had his wife served. That's H's youngest sister. Seems YSIL has had several A's. The family (H's family - do NOT support the A and have told BIL so). BIL was holding on and now the current OM's W found out about the A. OM's W downloaded some explicit pixes and threatened to send them to some e-mail addy's she found of YSIL's family (aka: me and other relatives - LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> ). My other SIL (older SIL - OSIL) called up because BIL is in a panic and called to apologize in case we get that e-mail. I told OSIL
not to worry because @ MB we encourage exposure but the pixes will not go further. Instead I reminded her that when the exposure is complete then about 40-50% of the A is killed. The fantasy of it dies with the exposure.

Yep, I gotta live by what I preach. I am ready. I am not a BS in this case but a supportive relative. It took BIL over 7 years and 4 kids later to get to this point. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I wondered if OM's W was posting on MB. If she is, she'll know and can contact me. Seems OM and YSIL are totally screwed because the force is strong..... OM's W knows BIL's sister real well. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> On the flip side YSIL's family has thrown their support to BIL and not their own flesh and blood alien WS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Boy this sounds like a soap opera....a bad one. LOL!!! Anywhoz.... YSIL had conniption fits because she was served and orded to vacate the family home. Civil standby was there (police). From what I recall, they give the person 1 hour to vacate. I hope BIL doesn't give her the BMW or whatever she was currently driving.

Let's see how her suppposed 'friends' help her out. She is a WS and likes it that way. Hm.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

So did you get the expected e-mail? Did she get the beamer? how's the new year shaping up for the affairees?

No e-mail yet. Not sure 'bout the BMW or Mercedes.....last I heard the WSW was frantically calling relatives she previously had no time for to dispute the WS claims of proof. Also claimed BS's BIL was trying to come on to her.

It is still all about the WS. No remorse, just a lot of crying over spilled.....poop. LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

FIL and MIL have been informed. It has been recommended NOT to take her calls. She is NOT self sufficient so if her 'friends' are not willing to pay for her selfish ways...she maybe on the street. For some crazy reason, she thinks she is hot stuff. More like plastic stink stuff..... but that's my POV. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

More to follow.....

Wow - she gets a boat-load of drama - kind of the nightmare version of the fantasy. Good for OMW - her parents and your inlaws! It's refreshing to read of people who have a strong moral compass, fully functioning!

I agree Kayla. This is truly refreshing after seeing all of the families that support and enable selfish, spoiled, immoral behavior of waywards on this board all too often. I so hope the family sticks to their guns regardless of YSIL's actions, threats, crying, whining, lying, etc and help her by applying tough love at a crossroads in her life.

Because MY in-laws have lived through the drama I went through as a BS and their son as a WS, they know the drill and yes, I have drilled MB principals into them big time. Some are shocked at the lengths a WS will go through to continue the A.

This particular YSIL has been selfish due to her mom's bad habits. Now it is coming around to bite her in the butt big time. The warning went out years ago but I had to exercise patience big time.

We will see how much their stick to their guns. I am NOT backing down on this one and neither is my H. He knows first hand what it is like t/b a WS and knows what a BS is capable of. H's BIL has been informed he can call me anytime and says he will do so. Right now he is taking care of the chlidren, while the drama queen is running rampant through the city look for support.

L.

Orchid- the picture that runs through my mind is from Lilo and Stitch - Stitch running from one corner of the island to another, but nothing to satisfy his need for destruction...

Orchid,

I really admire how you and your FWH are standing on principles here. I hope the rest of the family is able to keep up the conviction.

It sounds as if YSIL is very selfish and spoiled and entitled (BMW or MERCEDES, etc). If she's not making the payments then she should go and get a "beater" to drive that she can afford.

Kayla,

LOL!! But I like Stitch <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> and I don't like YSIL right now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

It is true that once the WS are out of their mind, they have an insatiable desire for destruction. Almost like they crave it.

That's why it is important to stand firm but NOT be in the way.

L.

H&P,

Thanks for your support. Can't very well be on MB and NOT practice it, right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

WS (YSIL) doesn't work, financially dependent on her H (BS - BIL). Seems her 'friends' no longer want her around (or so I am told).....she has been knocking on her sister's doors and bending their ear 'til wee hours of the morning. I told my SIL NOT t/d that so hopefully tonight, it won't happen again. My son is at my SIL's house and he is quite vocal about YSIL NOT being a good mom. LOL!! Gotta love my boy!!! I had to tell him to tone it down and leave it to the adults to discuss. He sooo wants to tell of YSIL and feels bad for his uncle and cousins.

The latest is BIL does have proof and OM's W decided NOT to send us the e-mails because she is afraid we will have her e-mail address. No worries....BIL has all the proof he needs and I told SIL for him to send it to at least 1 other person for safe keeping. So it's up to him. We just provide the support.

L.

...so the drama continues.

The WS has been removed from the home. NO one wants her. Those 'friends' and OM have no use for her. OM got kicked out of his house by his W and is now staying with his parents.

WS (YSIL) grumbled while the police were there to remove her, wasting most of her 1 hour of packing. She managed to take a large suitcase or 2 but her closet and the closets of each of her 4 children still have her clothes packed in there.

WS is looking for anyone to give her $$. Even wanted another SIL to ask SIL's parents for $$.

Yea.... right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Then WS turns in her fully loaded SUV and cashes out with a smaller car. Crazy broad, she thinks she is making $$??? That w/b short lived since she is high maintenance.

Seems WS has a laywer retained and is getting advice on how to screw her H. Hope it backfires.

As for the BS (YBIL), he and the children are doing better. His family is helping out at home and the house is starting to feel like a home. Despite the high end furniture and the house looking like a model house, it was never a home for BS and children. Now it is. SIL said it felt comfortable when she visited a few days ago. BS' mother and sisters were doing a good job and BS was starting to feel comfortable being on his own (which he really already was on his own a lot).

Sad discovery...... BS found pre-natal pills which Ws had recently claimed were 'ordered in error'. Hm..... SIL says NOT ordered in error since there was also a prego test kit nearby. BS had a vaso so the only reason to have all that prego stuff is..... yep.... then found out OM'sW said the OM told his W, WS had an abortion previously and maybe prego again. Now has WS earned the name sssllll_t? Yep. Many times over.

Her own family does not support her A, never has and hopefully never will but the time it took for her H to take positive action was a long time.

He still has down days and does miss his W but he knows he doesn't miss the WS.

YSIL has a long ways to go before she can come back. I hope YBIL has the endurance to make it. I fear for those children.....but they do have support now and that's a good start.

Ok...that's the latested from this drama.

Serves the slllll_t right as far as I can tell. I hope the YBIL makes himself and the kids priority one in all of this. How stupid can you be? Does she not know what causes babies to appear? For God's sake go the the health dept and get some free BC pills or stick a raincoat on it. She sounds like an entitled, selfish, self centered, b_tch to me.

Keep us informed.

Ever wonder what a support letter from a BS supporter would look like? Imagine one coming from an MBer to those stumbling through support? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I have modified it a bit from the original version. I refer to the WS as DQ (aka: drama queen). This amply applies to WSh's as well. WSH's may not be as dramatic but the pain is strong enough.

In case you are wondering, I sent a similar letter to H's family who currently have 1 sibling in stupid denial. She is trumpting up false charges, feinging suicide, demanding $$, etc.....the list goes on. In the meantime, her H and children suffer. BIL's family has been informed that most of the family do not support the A. At this time only one of H's sister's support the A. That is the one I recommend we send the WS to live with. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Take a look at this one:

Hiya all,

Yea, it 's me again in that writing mood I get into when there's another Maupin drama show on.

Ok, now this letter is by me and from me so don't go pestering others about what I wrote. You want to know more, write or call....me.

This is being sent in the spirit to help some of you avoid the pain of being pulled into this drama. If you are smart, you will not allow the drama queen to expend her energies by draining the resources of her family and others.

The do's and don'ts of it all:

1. Do NOT offer santuary to the 'DQ' (aka: drama queen).
2. Do NOT pass gossip or any info to the DQ.
3. Do NOT offer assistance or render financial aid to the DQ.
4. Do NOT run errands or be the messager for the DQ.
5. Do NOT hold back information when pressured by the DQ. Tell the DQ she/he is being a jerk. If the DQ says they are dumb, by all means...agree.
6. Do NOT fall prey to the control and whims of the DQ.
7. Do NOT be afraid to tell a DQ, no. You do not owe the DQ an explanation for everything.
8. Do NOT try to teach a DQ about how to improve. DQ's will use that infomration against you and others.

9. If the DQ accuses you of something or says you don't 'love her', shrug your shoulders and walk away. DQ's don't like to be ignored....so best to ignore her.

A. Do offer and lend support to her family (i.e. husband and children)
B. Do turn over information to respected persons as needed (i.e. elders, husband, designated relative or friend of family).
C. Do vent as needed to secured contacts (i.e. someone you know can handle the info).
D. Do learn to babble back when the DQ tries to talk you into her scheme.
E. Learn to recognize babble from the DQ.
F. Learn to tell the difference between a need and a want or a lie. G. When she acts like a good person, treat her accordingly. When she acts like a DQ, ignore her.

Anyone who thinks they can outsmart a DQ by playing their game will be taken for a ride. That alone can empower the DQ to continue her reign of terror and give her the strength to do further damage to all around her. She will use and step over you to keep her title as a DQ.

Instead learn to use various tools like reverse babble to combat the game. Ws' don't play fair so don't play. Learn to babble back or walk away.

The minute things start to settle down, watch as the DQ creates more drama.

Know that drama is what keeps the DQ alive and that is a bad thing. Better to try and be on the alert for the real person, the one who is truly repetant and NOT a faker.

Don't be dumb or naive when dealing with a DQ. DQ's love to take advantage.

Most importantly, pray for a clear mind, calm heart and lots of patience.

Time is on your side. The DQ's life gets shorter the more you stand together and stand firm.

If the DQ's life gets shorter there is a greater chance for recovery. Personal recovery 1st and if your H wants her back, then maybe, just maybe marital recovery.

Right now, there is no recovery in sight. Instead the DQ is on a mission to take and take and take. Make sure she/he doesn't come into your home and strip you of your possessions (including your bank account).

Remember the need to control empowers the DQ. Remove that need and you will make it easier to defeat the DQ and remove that kind of attitude from your life. In turn you will be doing your sister a favor.

For those who like to go and tell the DQ everything, we will make sure the DQ knows your place will be her new haven. We will direct the DQ to go to you for help and support. You can be the primary caregiver for the DQ because using other people's assests is what the DQ does best.

Are these tough words? Hard to do? Can't understand why we have to be so tough? Well anything less is defeat. Unless you want this drama to play out for years to come, it would be best if we all help put an end to it by NOT supporting it.

If you really love your _________ (friend, bro/sis, sibling, cousin, aunt,uncle, parent, grandparent, child, etc.) you will NOT support his/her attitude, lifestyle or affairs. The DQ may not call his/her liasons affairs but they are blantantly so. If he/she has convinced herself they are not affairs, then let her be the only one gullible. I hope the rest of you are smart enough to know better and wise enough to steer clear from being used.

There is a lot more to tell and if you want clarification, you are welcome to call or write to me. I will do my best to explain it to you.

I want you all to be aware. It has already happened. That is why I am wriitng this to you.

If you have to deal with him/her, watch the eyes. It is hard for a person to lie if you look them in the eye. Then watch the actions. Most times a person in denial will concoct a lot of stories to prove their case. You will find the truth if you watch their actions.

Sorry to send such a long letter.....in case you're wondering..... no I don't have all the scoop on each detail of the drama queen. I don't need it. The pattern is quite similar to what I have seen in the past...... I want you to be alert also. I don't want you to be caught unawares or have your life and $$ sucked out from under you.

take care,
L.

orchid, I feel SO bad for your BIL, oh my gosh, he is lucky to have your support.

great support letter for BS's and family. !!!!!!!1

That letter is perfect Orchid! Every family needs someone just like you. We should all be so lucky!

Island Car <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Weaver. But reality bites because the sad part is with all this foresight, there are few in this family who can see things as I see them. Even the best supporter waivers at times. They eventually come around after there has been a lot of energy and $$ lost.

I am trying hard to prevent the WS from sucking the life out of everyone around her but some can't believe she is capable of doing that to them. Ha!

That's where I need t/b patient....and I have been up to now. The advantage I have is I am older than all those kids so when I write something, most at least read it. Can't ask for too much more than that.

I do draw the line in how and when I help. If they choose to ignore the warning, then when they ask for help....there is usually a nice lecture which accompanies the assistance. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

The drama continues. Now the WS has her sister in her grasp. Yes, this is her sister who was also a 'drama queen' in her own right. This was before she got married. Her young and very naive H was warned about her but he married her anyways.

Now this OSIL (other sister in law) has 2 babies (almost she died both times and her mendical bills I believe went over $1mil - they are NOT wealthy)...... Anyway, OSIL seemed to have settled down after her previous drama almost 3 years ago.

Now this OSIL sent myself and other of H's family a blasting letter how she does not trust the BS (H's BIL) and that she believes her sister (WS). Yes, she is blonde but I am hoping that's not the key. LOL!!! Most of H's family is blond and they are not all taken by this WS witch.

Oh yea, I got raked over the coals a bit but also she acknowledged she c/b stupid in her current train of thought. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Boy I had to hold back my fingers on that reply. LOL!!!

WS is spending the weekend visiting OSIL and her new family (1 son 1year + and a daughter about 4 months). I fear WS may try to seduce OSIL's H. She is very capable of it. Sadly the sick loyalty these 2 girls have had over the years almost killed OSIL and her WS is now out there doing it again. It is sad to watch it all.

Warnings have been sent but not being heeded. Even H is getting hot under the collar of it all and has written his response. He defended my stance quite well but I fear they won't listen to their older brother because he had also strayed (one of the bad side effects of being an FWS). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Oh well....those who are truly mature can see through all of this.

Side note: WS thought her mother would give her sanction. MIL said no. WS went and tried to talk her dad (FIL) into sharing a house with her (FIL said What?!?!?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> ), then said no. H's SIL and bro are giving WS until end of Feb to get her act together and move out. I told H's SIL she was being waaay to generous and I told her if she had t/d it sooner, she certainly had my blessing. LOL!!!

WS has asked H's SIL, SIL's parents, former neighbor and others for $$. Seems she wants to keep her lawyer's retainer fee in the bank while she panhandles the neighborhood. Maybe we should canvess the area and put out an APB - WS looking for handouts....on the loose.. Lock your doors and hold onto your hubbies.

Oh....the latest.... WS is now claiming to have lesbian tendencies. Seems she tried to come on to her H and he refused her. She got incensed and is now telling people she c/b bi. Hm.... now why does that NOT surprise me? Oh yea....of course....nothing that spews out of the mouth of the WS surprises me. Disappoints me maybe but not surprised. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Think this one s/b a candidate for a chastity belt? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Orchid

she's probably Axis II

look up DSM III on wikipedia

tread very carefully

she may appear wickedly strong ... but might be extremely fragile

Pep

Thanks Pep. I will look up the info and shre it with OldrSIL (had to rename her - too many SILs in this family - LOL!!!)

The scary piece is her bent her destrying her H and others. Now she claims that is why she spent all that money and ran up credit card bills, got her own credit card and sold the SUV.

Is she wickedly dangerous? Yes. She has been for many years. What she did as a teenager should have put her in jail but her mother covered up for it and now.

The A was just another symptom. Yes. She needs help but until she is willing to accept the help, no one can help her.

The A was inevitable. She has been flaunting herself for years. As for her cries for help.....well that's yet to be seen.

I haven't written all that has happened and there is more.

For now, I will go and read that info.

Thanks for letting me know.

L.