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The question of forgiveness is entirely seperate from holding anger, grudges. One does not have to enact a pretend, feel good, "forgiveness" in order to release anger. It wasn't intended to be a solely selfish act just to make ourselves feel good.
When God offers forgiveness, we are not forgiven until we ACCEPT that gift. He does not hand out blanket, cheap forgiveness otherwise, everyone the world over would be forgiven TODAY. It is the same with our brothers; they are not forgiven until they ACCEPT that gift, because in the biblical sense, forgiveness is a TWO WAY street. It takes a forgiver and a forgivee. The act of forgiveness described in the Bible is intended to reconcile, not to make us feel sanctimonious and holy moly inside.
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Forgiveness is the mental, emotional and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment or anger against another person for a perceived offence, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives, in terms of the person forgiven and/or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In some contexts, it may be granted without any expectation of compensation, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is dead).
There is no question, in my opinion, that “love covers over a multitude of sins.” We can, and do, choose to “not take offense and forgive” many things that we perceive as “sins or wrongs against us” by someone we love. That is part of what having a “servant’s heart” is all about. We can, and often do, CHOOSE not to dwell on something and let it fester in us causing bitterness and damage to us. We release that emotional response and “leave things in God’s hands.”
But that is a somewhat different sort of “forgiveness” than what God requires for salvation of the soul. God, and God alone, determines that type of forgiveness based upon His will. God chooses to have mercy upon whomever He chooses to have mercy.
[color:"blue"]God forgave Adam and Eve? God forgave Cain? God forgave the world in Noah’s time? God forgave the inhabitants of Sodom? Jesus forgave Judas Iscariot? Jesus forgave the 2nd thief on the cross?
Let’s pick just the example of Sodom for a minute. What was Lot’s response to the people of Sodom? He sought to “exchange” one sin(allowing his daughters to be raped by the mob) for another sin in an attempt to use his “human reason” to “protect” the messengers from God. God would have none of that. There was no “change of heart” in the people of Sodom. All that would have been accomplished, had the mob taken Lot’s suggestion, would be a different sin against God, but a sin nonetheless. Sin without consequences is an open invitation for continued sinning, and for still others to be hurt as the sinners continue sinning with impunity.
How about the example of Christ forgiving one thief on the cross next to his, but not the other thief? Why wouldn’t Christ have forgiven the 2nd thief and why didn’t he forgive him? Christ looks into the heart of the person, where we cannot do that.
So we are given the “things that a truly repentant follower of Christ should exhibit,” i.e., coming to you and saying “I repent, forgive me” and the COMMAND to forgive a brother in Christ in that scenario. Did that brother/sister in Christ really MEAN it when they said “I repent?” Perhaps yes, perhaps no. But the issue is that we are all susceptible to falling into sin, willfully and accidentally. But we are to follow God’s command no matter what we “think” about that person.
Can that same reasoning be applied to unbelievers? Yes, since we don’t know their hearts either. We can apply it in a “Good Samaritan” sort of way in that we model Christ’s love for sinners who do not merit our forgiveness. But that is applied to the broken and bleeding person, not to the perpetrators of the attack who DO NOT feel any repentance for their actions.
We turn the perpetrators over to God and do not seek vengeance upon them ourselves. [/color]
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To pass out cheap forgiveness to those who don't want or feel they need your forgiveness is really very arrogant when you think about it. It presumes that they have done something warranting your forgiveness in the first place, which may not even be the case. Passing out unwanted, cheap forgiveness to those who don't want or care for it, is an empty exercise in feel goodism. If it was what God expected, he would PRACTICE that too.
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IMHO, God does pass out blanket forgiveness in grace, both common and divine. It is not a requirement to repent in order to be saved. It is by God's Grace (unmerited favor), therefore, that salvation is granted to man, on the condition that we put our faith (meaning belief i.e. trust)in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, i.e. belief that Jesus is from God, Jesus is the Messiah and that his death on the cross has the power to take away our sins, thus making us blameless in the sight of God.
[color:"blue"]God provides “common grace,” i.e., rain, to all, but that’s not forgiveness.
While I agree that salvation is by faith alone, the term “faith” needs to be carefully defined to avoid confusion. “Faith alone,” as in BELIEVING that Jesus is the SAVIOR is not enough, for even Satan knows and believes this. Judas Iscariot likely knew this as well. But “faith in Christ” also involves the fact that Jesus IS LORD, and that the person who is truly sorry for their sins, for their sinful state, not only acknowledges that Jesus is their Savior from those sins, but surrenders their life to Jesus as LORD and “invites” Him into their life as Sovereign Lord, as well as being the “sacrificial lamb (Savior) who takes away the sins of the world.” It is, in my opinion, the work of the Holy Spirit in someone’s heart that enables them to have this sort of saving faith. [/color]
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Our standard of forgiveness should be just like God's and Jesus tells us in Luke how this is to be done: "...If your brother sins, rebuke him, and IF HE REPENTS, forgive him (Luke 16:3-4).
That is how Jesus forgives and to think otherwise is to imagine we have a higher standard than him.
"Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is conditional. We are not to rebuke unless a sin has been committed, nor are we to forgive unless true repentance has occurred. " From Bold Love
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I agree except, I believe, forgiveness is still necessary(in our hearts) when no repetance is given. It is obviously not necessary to give forgiveness to the individual but we must in our heart to remove the resntment and anger over the sin.(Rather than being sanctimonious and holy moly) This is necessary in order to protect ourselves from commiting more sinful acts out of revenge.
[color:"blue"] This is what Jesus did with Judas Iscariot. Jesus stated FACT. He stated what would happen as the Father upheld His righteous judgment upon Judas, while submitting to the Father’s will for Himself. [/color]
“Jesus replied, [color:"red"] “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”[/color] (Matt.26:23)
[color:"red"] “None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. [/color] (John 17:12b)
[color:"red"] “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for
many for the forgiveness of sins.” [/color] (Matt. 26:28, underlining added) [color:"blue"] “Many” is not “all.” [/color]
It may be that we are talking about different types of “forgiveness” here, and that is why I earlier suggested that each poster should define the term in the context of how they thought it should be applied to a given situation or circumstance.
So let’s perhaps look at it as being “different,” as “love” is different, depending upon what we are talking about and what “type” of forgiveness we are using the same word(that has several differing meanings) “forgive” to speak about our own mental state and approach to others.
The first two areas of distinction are founded in whether or not a person is “saved” or unsaved, by God’s definition.
If we are talking about “forgiveness of sin” that separates us from God, then there is only way to “obtain” that sort of forgiveness and that is through accepting Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, the gift that God holds out to all of us. God’s provision of that “gift of forgiveness of sin” IS conditional upon “God’s way,” and not any other way. It IS “unmerited” and “unconditional” based upon anything that WE could do on our own to “merit” God’s forgiveness of our sins. But faith, belief, obedience, etc., ARE required of us IN RESPONSE TO what God did for us.
So, too, is our forgiving of other believers REQUIRED of us whether we “think” they “merit” our forgiveness or not. God is Sovereign and chooses to forgive whomever He chooses to forgive. God is Sovereign LORD to all believers and commands us to forgive, whether we “feel like it” or not when a fellow believer seeks our forgiveness and states that they have repented of what they did to us.
So what DOES God “mean” when He tells us to forgive others?
Let’s look at a “definition” that I believe in, that was contained in a pamphlet I received when my wife and I began Christian Marital Counseling, that was written by Jay E. Adams. I believe it clearly and succinctly states what WE are promising when we say, “I forgive you.”
Now let me make perfectly clear to you the basic biblical dynamic of love. Love is not feeling first, we have seen. Rather, it is first manifested through giving. Feeling is self-centered; love focuses upon another. Listen to his: ‘God so loved the world that He gave His unique son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.’ (John 3:16); ‘He loved me and gave himself for me’ (Galatians 2:20); and remember the verse from Ephesians that I quoted before that contains the words ‘. . . as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.’ In every one of those vital verses concerning the love of Jesus Christ, which is the model for all love between a husband and wife, love is tied to giving, never to feeling. That is therefore where you must begin; you must learn how to give.
You must give to one another all that you have that the other needs. It will not always be easy since you have developed patterns of wanting and expecting and demanding rather than patterns of giving. All of that will have to change. And you will have to learn to give even when the other party is not very loving or lovable toward you. Remember, Jesus Christ gave Himself for sinners, for rebels, for enemies. You know that you can too because He told us to “do good” for our enemies. ‘If your enemy hungers. . . give; if he thirst . . . give’ He said. He did not say “First, feel loving toward him, then give.” No, quite simply He said “give.” If we had to wait till we felt warm and benevolent toward and enemy before giving him something to eat or drink, the chances are that he’d die of hunger or thirst waiting. We are to give; give whatever he needs---because God says so, whether we feel like it or not.”
“But doesn’t that make us hypocrites if we do things for one another when we don’t feel like it?”
“No Emily, again you are thinking according to a feeling oriented view of life rather than the biblical one. Hypocrisy is not determined by whether you feel like doing something or not. In spite of what some people say today, you should do whatever God tells you to do to please Him, whether you feel like it or not.”
“I sure don’t understand that chaplain; you’d better fill me in.”
“O.K., it’s like this. The very first thing that I did this morning was something that I didn’t feel like doing, something that I did not want to do---I got up! Did that make me a hypocrite?”
“No, of course not.”
“Neither will it make you a hypocrite to give in love to another even when you don’t feel like it. I would be a hypocrite only if I went about telling everyone that I enjoyed getting up when, in fact, I do not. It is not hypocrisy to do something that God commands against our feelings so long as we don’t misrepresent our true motives. The reason that I get up is because I know that to be responsible to God and to my employer I must do so. The reason you give in love basically ought to be the same: because you want to please God and thereby become a responsible husband (or wife) in His sight. So long as you do not attribute your actions to false motives like, ‘I am trying to please you honey because you mean so much to me,’ no hypocrisy is involved.”
“Well, I certainly never thought about it that way before. But, you said that we would have to start with forgiveness. Suppose that I do not feel like forgiving Phil? Does the same thing hold?”
“Yes, now you are beginning to catch on. Forgiveness is not feeling first either. It is fundamentally a promise. When you put your faith in Christ as your Savior, God promised to remember your sins against you no more. That does not mean that He forgets; God never forgets anything. What it means is that He never brings up those sins to use them against you again. When you forgive one another, therefore, you are promising to do three things about his wrong doings. You promise:
1. I shall not use them against you in the future.
2. I shall not talk to others about them.
3. I shall not dwell on them myself.
Just as the only way to begin to feel right toward another is to begin to do right toward him, so the only way to feel properly toward another, and ultimately even to forget those wrongs that he has done to you, is to keep the threefold promise that you make when you say ‘I forgive you.’ You see, you don’t have to feel forgiving in order to grant forgiveness; you just have to forgive. Against all feelings to the contrary, Christ told us that we must forgive a brother seven times a day if he comes saying ‘I repent’ (Luke 17:4). Does that clarify things for you?” (emphasis added)
The “threefold promise” is what God does for forgiven sinners who are “in Christ.” But it doesn’t apply to unbelievers. This gift is precisely what Jesus was talking about in the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant. When we forgive someone, we are to embrace the “threefold promise” for ourselves and our future interaction with the one(s) we have forgiven.
Do we “forgive” a Wayward Spouse who is involved in an affair and is “unrepentant?” Or do we do everything we can to “expose” their sin against God, and against us, to hopefully bring them to a point where we CAN forgive them? Do we forgive them when they have “seen the light,” repented, and are willing to TRY to be obedient to God’s commands? We are not talking about “perfection” or “perfect behavior” here. We are talking about a change in the condition of the heart and the willingness, with God’s help, to CHANGE direction and leave, as much as it is possible for us right now, this minute, our life of sin.
Do we “twist” God’s intention and definition for “forgiveness of sin” to make it “secularly appealing” and NOT “need God” as part of the “equation?” No, and I don’t think that is what you were saying either.
“Forgiveness of sin” is inherently the province of God. When we apply forgiveness of sin, or any of our interactions with others, God “expects” and “commands” us to “do as He has done for us.” We CAN choose to offer the “potential” of our forgiveness and ACT “as if” the person has been forgiven, releasing all the “consequences” to God and placing them in God’s hands for the eventual actual outcome in their life. We can call that “forgiveness” if that is how we are most comfortable thinking about it, but it’s not true forgiveness. It IS recognizing that God is Sovereign and “vengeance is mine, saith the Lord” and that ALL people are His to deal with according to His will, not our will.
God bless
