Calling all MB'ers.......

I need some advice here please. I have an appointment to talk to OW's husband in a little while.

This past Thursday night, I called the OW’s husband. I have been wanting to do that for a few months now. Didn’t know what to expect. During the affair, the OW told my H she was separated from her husband and that her husband had his share of girlfriends.

My H told me that he rarely ever called her and she mostly called him. They communicated via email and internet chat mostly. My H told me he did call her house once and her husband answered the phone. My H questioned the OW about this later and she told my H that her husband was just there to do some kind of household thing or whatever.

When I was getting ready to call him,my heart was pounding out of my chest and my hands were shaking. I was so scared that the OW would answer the phone and I definitely do not want to hear the sound of her voice. The voice that my husband made love to for months.

The OW’s daughter answered the phone (OW denied her kids during the affair, said she couldn’t have any) and I asked for OW's husband. When he got on the phone I told him my name and that I had some very important info to give him. He said o.k. I told him that his wife and my H had a 4 month long affair and asked him to verify a few Q’s about his wife to confirm they were indeed the OW and the OW’s husband. It was confirmed. I offered to give him my email address so I could fill him in on some details. I knew his daughter was there and it wasn’t the right time. He agreed. He emailed me the next morning from his office.

Instead of writing emails that could be discovered by his company causing him embarrassment, I called him at his ofc and told him the whole story. He emailed me the next day and told me he was getting “his ducks in a row”. I don’t even know if he’s confronted OW yet.

The OW's husband is waiting for me to call him today in a few hrs as planned per an email I sent him this morning. I figured he’d have Q’s after having the weekend to process it all.

My dilemma…..I want to ask the OW's husband if he’ll email me after he’s confronted her and let me know what her side of the story is. I want to compare what she says about the affair to what my H says about the affair. Is this wrong? I do not intend to hold this man’s hand through this ordeal, I just have questions that I want answered and he probably does too.

What do ya think guys?

If you want to see my story here's the link:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3154169

Thanks for listening.

Tell him EVERYTHING that you know. Send him a copy of your "proof packet." Write down a list of questions you want answered, and ask him if he would be so kind to answer them. Tell him that he should write down any questions he has so you can follow up and help him out as well. Tell him you found a wonderful site called MB that has helped you through this. That is just my take on the subject.

Tell all. He'll likely become a great ally in battling the A.

I think you two should learn all you can about the A from each other. Yes that would mean a few follow up calls, but like you said, no buddy buddy thing.

In my case I met OMW for lunch to go over things. We had 2 more calls after that, but that was it then

Sure, I would want to compare the stories.