We had a pleasant evening on NYE and when I went o put our daughters to sleep, I dozed off for about an hour. I woke with a bad feeling and looked for my husband, only to go outside to find him having sex with my mother. They were both extremely drunk, no excuse in my eyes and it just happened. Me and my mothers relationship is not repairable, we jsut started fixing our issues and now with this, I cant forgive her. I know, for a fact, that she came onto him and instigated this. He should have walked away and I am so angry that he did not. In my heart, I feel like we stand a chance of fixing things. I told him that HE has to get counseling for himself (he is an admitted alcholic)and marriage counseling, as well as be tested for STD's. I also said that we will not even hug until I am ready. I just want to know, am I being a fool? He is truly remorseful and is willing to do whatever it takes to get through this. I know in my heart, that he IS sorry. I am just so torn right now and confused. Any advice would be appreciated.

Let me ask you a question...

IF

you had not walked in on your MOTHER having sex with your HUSBAND ...

do you 100% believe your husband would have told you about it ???

Pep

I do not think he would have said something the next day, but in time I believe he would have. He has trouble hiding things from me.

Is "sorry" enough for you?

Pep

No sorry is NOT enough and I told him that! Individual counseling for his alcoholism as well marriage counseling for us, testing for STD's and we will see if our marriage can be saved. He must respect my boundaries, which means no touching or kissing or hugging. Nothing until I feel I am ready and if I AM ready I will be the one to let HIM know. No pressure. I told him that this is going to be a long hard road we will have to travel and unless he is up for ALL the work that is ahead he needs to go. If I want to ask a million questions, I deserve my answers, because if it was not for him, we would not be in this place right now. My mother is dead to me, because the things she has done to me in the past...I was trying to forgive but this is the last straw.

I am really sorry that you are going through this. You will likely receive more responses if you re-post this on the General Questions II board.

You say you were trying to forgive him...might I ask for what? Does he have a past record of infidelity or is this the first time?