Hello
I am new to this form and to this site. I use to be good with things like this and able to write a lot. Now I have no words to say. But I will try. About 8 years ago my husband had an affair, from this affair a child was born. He (the child) now lives with us and calls me mon. On Dec,11 I found out that he did it again. I don't know how long the affair has been going on, but I do know that it has been a while.He told his brother that he does not know why he does this thing. I love my husband very much, but not enough to put up with all of this. The first affair was very hard for me, this one not so hard as I have learn a great lesson from it. He says that he still loves me, but of course I don't believe him at all. I am still trying to let all of this soak in.

Girl there are good men out there that don't cheat. That is complete BS. You should not have to put up with that. My hubby can be a real jerk but he is not a cheater. I wish you luck in your decision of what to do. But my advice is run. Who knows how many times he's done it and got away with it! He could bring you home diseases etc.

Wilkes
First thing...welcome to MB. Sorry you have to be here, but it is a good place and you will find alot of support.

After the first A, what did you two do to recover? Or was it something that got swept under the carpet? Most WS would just like to forget about it and move on.

Whatever the case may be, your H did not learn from that experience and still has large issues to deal with inside himself. He obviously still feels entitled to destroy everything and everyone around him. He sounds extremely selfish. He needs alot of work.

You on the other hand have to decide if you want to remain in your M.

Is the A still going on?

Do you know the OP? Is she M?

If it is still going on...exposure to family and friends who can influence your H is your best tactic to ending the A. You will need to read up on exposure.

If your H is remorseful and is committed to recovery, and you still want your M, he must work to regain your trust.

I suggest reading this site as much as possible. Learn about Plan A and about meeting eachother's emotional needs(ENs). Also the General Questions II forum is busier and more people will respond to you.

Also purchase Surviving an Affair. This can be done from this site. Both you and your H should read it. But at least you.

Wilkes...try to take care of yourself. This is devastating to a BS, which you are already fully aware of. Try to keep a clear calm head. Take care and God bless.