My wife stood before our church and confessed her unfaithfulness. That day she said she was willing to earn my trust back and she loved me. She was through with OM. Tuesday night she came home and said that she didn't want to give me "false hope" and she was still considering leaving in the summer. What do you think has happened? I know what I think!

Repost this on you original thread and delete this post.

She's going to waffle as long as there is contact w/ OM. Make sure you get her out of that job. In the meantime make sure there is NC outside of work and keep the relationship talk light and to a minimum. Just enforce your boundaries, and that is NC with OM.

I would bet my left arm she saw and or communicated with him again and he played her feelings (ILY, I will give up all for you, we are soulmates, etc, etc, lie, lie).

NC means NC forever. I bet she is back in contact with him.

My response would be that's great WW that you are finally being truthful with me. It is unfortunate that you no longer seem to have the willpower to live up to the commitment you made in front of our church. I need to be honest with you as well. I no longer want a M where either of us would consider going outside of our vows to have our needs met. I want something better. I hope that it can be with you. If not then I will continue to become the person that God intended for me to be and when the time is right he will supply according to his riches, the woman for me. I know it would be best if that woman is you but I will not be led along and involved in a marriage involving three persons.

Then I would have something fun planned for me and children (do you have children?) and head out the door whistling a tune.

I have 2 boys 20 and 18, the oldest is the worship leader at the church. They both found out within the last few days, they are hurt and incensed.

How much exposure regarding OM have you done?

I hate it when people start another thread. I'll bump up the original.

His pastor was told and his wife notified. I'm told the pastor was going to confront him. He had done this before.

If this man is still in church where you and WW attend then he and the WW should be (using a Catholic term here) excommunicated until they repent. If churches are not going to stand up to sin then who is? I will no longer attend a church that doesn't address unrepentant sin among its members (including me if I am one at any time).

IF she has cut off ALL contact with the OM it could very well mean she is in withdrawal and is having a tough time. In that case, this will likely blow over as long as you strive to give her a safe, loving place to come home to.

If she is still in contact with the OM, then she is probably planning on leaving you for him.

You really, really, really need to be in contact with the OMW so you can work together to end this affair.

No he attends another church (with his family).

See what Mel wrote above. Is the OM still married? If so then you should absolutely be using OMW as a resource to help end contact.

Has he been exposed at his church, to his pastor, friends, parents, brothers/sisters, etc?

Yes. People at his work, church, wife, etc. It is widely revealed.

There is one thing that goes against them though. After confessing all in church like that, there will be no believing her if she does go to him.

And his pastor and church continue to overlook this man actively pursuing or engaging a married woman from another church?

I would challenge the pastors from both churches to do what they are supposed to do and address this matter by sending each of them a certified letter on the same day recounting what is happening and how contact is still taking place putting your family and his in danger of being destroyed.


What does his wife say, do, are they doing???

Floyd, is she still working with the OM every day?

No, she is working in another office onthe other end of the county.