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#1802243 01/03/07 07:19 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1
I busted my husbands 7 month affair in sept. He works out of town often and sometimes has to return to the same town in which he cheated. We have tried to fix all of this for the sake of the family. We still share love for on another and have both put forth effort since. He disrespected all of this effort by staying out at his work christmas party late and drunk which pushed everything negative back to the surface.
Now years ago, I had an affair on him; and ended it. Long before our son. completely undesicovered. I have carried the guilt and still have not shared this with him. should I narc on myself just to make him understand my pain?

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Posts: 7,464
You should narc on yourself because it is the right thing to do - Read up about Radical Honesty on this site.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496
briuserliz,

"should I narc on myself JUST TO MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND MY PAIN"

That's not the REASON that you tell him. It's because there should be total honesty in a M. But yes you should tell him, but it should be in a calm, caring fashion. This is not for revenge! I know how you feel and it's human nature to want to retaliate, but be gentle. This will hurt, you know that all too well.

Good luck


BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery

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