I just wanted to give a quick TomFool/NotSleeping update.

I entered Plan A with my W back in November with the hope that she might see reasons to stay and give the M a chance. Well, that part has worked very well. She is obviously very cautious and fearful that the changes may be temporary, but she is actively participating in our recovery now.

What I wasn't expecting is the effect Plan A and our recovery would have on me, the BS. I'm starting to fall hard for my own wife! I find myself thinking about her during the day, looking forward to her coming home, looking forward to reviewing our daily goal list together, looking forward to a chance to please her, and thinking constantly of that next SF where we can't be any closer. My FWW has responded to my Plan A changes by meeting many of my own ENs and making an effort to control her LB's, even though she is not an active MB participant following a "plan". I know some of my ENs, particulary affection and to a lesser extent family commitment, are still not being fully met, so I'm excited to think how head over heels I'll be when that happens.

Don't get me wrong. I still have a lot of issues to deal with, and feeling these feelings of romantic love only make me regret all the more that we have the scar of an affair to overcome. I obviously still have serious trust issues, and I still have tons of triggers that make me physically ill.

But I just wanted to give some hope to all those WS's and BS's who don't believe feelings can change. Although I've always loved my wife and felt committed to her, we had settled into the routine (neglect?) of marriage and family and I had forgotten what romantic love is like. Feeling a spark of it again is truly addictive, and it gives me hope that my FWW will feel that way for me someday, as I can see that I am meeting some of her ENs too.

I'll try to not get too far ahead of myself, and continue to take it day by day, but it feels great to be falling in love again.

NS