Hi, I have decided to let this go!

Thank you for all of your input! Good luck to everyone!
jjrn

When any guy tells you about a hotel room and he is NOT a travel agent - he wants to see you in the hotel room necked.

This MM is/has crossed the line way too many times.

You need to tell your H the things you have told us here. Let him know how it makes you feel. Then you need to changes gyms and stop talking to this MM

He is trying to engage in an affair with you. You need to end all contact with him immediately and inform your husband and his wife of what he is doing, so she can address the problems in her marriage. Do not let this continue. If you are unhappy in your marriage, or in a moment of weakness you may act on his overtures. This man is digusting and you should not want anything to do with him.

Here's your input...

Go tell your H about what this guy is doing. See what HE thinks about this. Ask him what you think you should do.

Thoughts?

This is an oxymoron when you are married.

It is completely obvious that this guy is just trying to "bed" you.

Because his wife is sick, she probably is unable to meet his need for sex, so he is looking for it elsewhere.

Good point.

How would your husband feel if he new the OM was doing/saying these things and/or you were keeping it from him? It is best to let him know immediately so he feels that you are completely unwilling partner.

If you keep it from him, this is how affairs start.

You are in the early phases of an affair...get out now. Even if you are unhappy in your marriage...I would suggest you stop seeing this man and either work on your marriage or be honest and end your marriage without an affair being involved.

It also seems obvious that you have interest in this man and are eating up his compliments/overtures. Think about how you would feel if it was your husband who was in your shoes...

jlds,

You have your answer so what do you say about it?

Run, now. Lest you end up like one of us--in He}} ...

Or it's a baldfaced lie and he's hoping you'll be dumb enough to buy it.
Mulan

It looks as if HE (OM) is not to be fully blamed for his advances as you have responded positively to them by one, not making issue with the advancements. Two, you switched gyms to be able to see him on a regular basis! Wow. Three, your recentl escalation of "friendship" was probably secret too?

You should have asked WHY he'd talk about a hotel room defiantly. You should have not carried on this "flirting". It's definately not innocent. To me innocent flirting is if you do it with friends, not stragers, IN FRONT of your husband and he knows it's not real. If you have not told your husband, you must have been considering the possibilities of an affair.

You need not only confess his advances and interests, but it looks to me like you have yours to confess as well.

Get out if this and good luck!

Post deleted by jlds

jlds,

how do you feel about the advise you've been given??

By your quickly coming to his defense, it seems to me that you are at least in the early stages of an EA. GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL HAVE YOUR DIGNITY! You have come here not out of curiosity, but because you are having an internal struggle. DO THE RIGHT THING AND TELL YOUR H AND OMW!

Why don't you read some of the horror stories that us betrayed spouses have gone through and how many WW's feel sorry for their actions? You can learn a lot here.

Post deleted by jlds

When you play with fire, you are bound to get burned.

This is the question you need to ask yourself. Would it hurt my husband to know that the OM is saying these things, and I am keeping it from him? You need to think of your husband first and foremost. I'm sure he wouldn't be okay with it, so you need to protect his feelings and do the right thing. By keeping this from him, you are already hurting him and doing things you shouldn't be doing in the marriage. Come clean now before it gets worse.

Obviously something he is doing is feeding an emotional need of yours. I would almost guarantee that if you continue with the "innocent" flirting and allow him to continue to make these type advances that you WILL be in a full blown physical affair within a few months. You may say I would not do this...but already you are allowing it to happen and it is obviously doing something for you. You are hiding things from your husband...this situation is constantly on your mind (talking to your friends...coming on this message board)...don't try to fool yourself...extract yourself from the situation before it is too late. You should never ever see this man again. You are treading in very dangerous waters...and you will have some serious regrets if you do not fix things right now.

Based on your last post make no doubt, YOU AR IN AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR right now. Stage 1.

The fact you think it's "harmless" is flat wrong. You have already harmed your marriage with this, so it's not harmless.

In your mind right now you are innocent since nothing physical has happened. The fact that this guy excites you, you keep this from your H, and you stick up for his advances shows you are ripe for the PA.

It seems like you already have your mind made up. Good luck.

Post deleted by jlds

RUN RUN RUN!!!

Before it's too late.

As someone else said, go ahead and read some of the nightmare stories here. Go over to the recovery board and see the turmoil our lives are in. Read about how it totally and completely takes over your life, for years. IF you're lucky enough to recover, that is. IF your husband would be willing to forgive you.

Big IF there. Are you willing to take that risk?

My husband, the one who had the affair, laid on my lap a few days ago and cried his eyes out. When I asked him why, he said "because I can't believe I did this. I can't believe this is my f***ing life now. I can't believe I have to live with this for the rest of my life".

Is that what you want?

If no, then tell your H everything, now.

And then both of you need to start reading everything on this website, and focusing on each other's ENs.

You're still early enough in your "affair" to be able to get out fairly easily. But you're already talking Fog Talk ~ not a good sign.

Again, RUN!

~MF