So he's out bar hopping on a daily basis. Correct?

So when do you get to do something for you like go the Mall shopping or having a girls night out? Or for that matter do you and he go out dining or see a movie?

Help him see the arrangement is one sided. You are raising his kids and he is having a grand old time at your expense.

Wouldn't happen with my W. I would have gotten a message I couldn't refuse to hear as in the God father. Staightenup and flyright or else.

Isn't there any one out there that you could tell that could help him understand this situation more clearly. There has to someone with influence in his life other than you.

Now that I think about it I did get a message somewhat like that in the form of D-day.

EEEGad!!!!!

I wouldn't recommend that though. But it sure got my attention.

Definitely you need to get a grip and make a stand or this will continue without end.

Stop enabling his unacceptable, selfish, irresponsible behavior.

AmIok, check out my other posts. That should explain things a little better.

Yes he goes bar hopping on a daily basis. After work. Sometime he hits 1 or 2 places and then he hits 3-5 before getting home. He says he's going to stop this crap because we can't afford it and he just found our he is diabetic and needs to lose weight and stop drinking. He knows he NEEDS to stop it and now. I finally got ahold of him around 6:30 and I met him at one of his stops to talk. Didn't want to argue infront of the girls again. He gave me reciepts from where he was and I didn't smell any perfume on him.

Justkeepgoing, I don't go out at all. But I'm going to start. Before if I was not home he'd leave the girls alone and go to the bar or where ever. So for a while I didn't do anything. I don't go out with friends and forget about shopping. I hate shopping. Beside I've never had enough money to go shopping for myself. Need to pay the bills. When we first started counseling he told H & I we needed to get back to when we first met and how we felt about each other. So we had date night once a week. That was fun but only lasted 4 weeks. There is one person who would have an influence on H. I just need to figure out if I really want to call this person or not. H will not be happy with me if I call this person. So I'm still thinking about tht one.

I would think about using that influential person really hard.

Whether get angry or not.

He needs someone to wake him up.

I know a thing or two about being a diabetic, since I are one now too, and drinking and eating aren't the things he needs to be doing in excess. Working out, getting the weight off and watching the diet are. My Blood sugar levels have dropped dramaticly by watching diet alone and being consistant with my medication.

He seems rather young to be in this situation. Is it Type I or Type II.

vc,
how did you set up the gps on the phone?
was it through your carrier?? I might like to do this.

I would consider splitting the finances, you shouldn't have to worry about him spending every dime on alcohol, and then you never have money to do anything for yourself. who is responsible for picking up the mess when you are late on your bills? plan A is about setting healthy boundaries for you, and when he can be within those boundaries, be the best spouse you can.

he needs motivation to change, but you can't change him, only show him the consequences of his actions based on what you deem is healthy for you. then let him make his own choices, and deal with those consequences

ie: I spent all my money on beer, now I can't pay my car payment, car gets repo'd. who is responsible=him

rather than
I spend all my money on alcohol, wife does the bills, why can't we pay car payment, car gets reposessed, my wife is not good with the bills who is responsible= you

Get to ALANON...

take all this emotion and all this energy on GPS's and tracking and powerstruggling...

and learn to protect...and detach lovingly....

GET to ALANON

this week...
on line
next week...

they have the tools and the people who are right where you are and have been there as well....

THEY have the tools you need...

learn them
and free yourself from his destructive behavior..

blessings to you

ARK

Thank you ARK. I will be finding out mor info on ALANON.