Esplanade - to attempt to explain in Spanish while drunk!

What is the chicken's favorite city?

Chickago

Sounds like a eggxciting fowl place to live. Love it!



Do they serve Spanish tequila omelets or is everyone plain scrambled in Chickago?



Ham and eggs: A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Things To Know!


Here's some things you probably didn't know:


1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.


2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.


3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.


4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.


5. The shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.


6. There are more chickens than people in the world.



7. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.


8. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.


9. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.


10. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.


11. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.


12. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".


13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.


14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.


15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.


16. Maine is the only state (in the USA) whose name is just one syllable.


17. There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.


18. Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula"


19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.


20. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.


21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.


22. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.


23. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.


24. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."


25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.


26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.


27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.


28. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.


29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.


30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.


31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.


32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.


33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.


34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.



NOW you know almost everything...

Cashews are legumes.

Did you know that leukemia is the number one disease cause of death among American children?

Fortune 500 terms;

Cashhews" orginate from sneeze code for "wow" these yummies are big profit money makers.


Leg "u" mes was the proper term for stockings...weekly money makers for stockholders. Another invention/way for shareholders <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />to recover alimony/mistress expenses.

Perhaps we should invest???


What about Brazil Nuts?



____________________________________________________________

New Vocabulary Words.


1. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.



2. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.



3. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.



4. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.



5. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.



6. Decaflon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.



7. Dopelar effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.



8. Extraterrestaurant (n.) An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented upon. Also known as an E-T-ry.



9. Faunacated (adj.) How wildlife ends up when its environment is destroyed. Hence faunacatering (v.), which has made a meal of many species.



10. Foreploy (n.) Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex.



11. Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding.



12. Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world.



13. Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.



14. Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.



15. Lullabuoy (n.) An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.

Cinderella,

Sad travesty of a fact. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Poor children....it's a horribly painful dreadful disease, this I know.

Child Abuse "ties" in.


GNP,

Now you show up. Now we know even more...but you didn't share a joke?


http://www.greatfacts.com/index3.htm

http://www.sudokuhints.com/

http://www.afunzone.com/

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their
sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3'
in housewares..... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick
your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK
ME! PICK ME!"

1 4. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And last but not least!)

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and,
then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

I'm Blonde.


What's your excuse?

I used to be blonde and it had a permanent affect/effect. I don't know.

~Love Story~



A Love Story.




I shall seek and find you...




I shall take you to bed and control you.




I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan.




I will make you beg for mercy.




I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you.




And you will be weak for days.





All my love,





The FLU!

That was an avatar I saw at another forum, liked it very much <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I used to be redhair, and now going to change it to be blonde.
Not nice tricking people <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

---

FLU!??


Am ready to pay even that price ah for those feelings... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It's better with vitamin C.


Garlic comes on quite strong.



Chicken soup it's real hot and steamy.



Zinc is oh man a great soother.



Lolipops makes it delicious.



Brandy randy has great kick and can be savored.



Hello Jello makes it jelly jiggly fun.



Who says being sick can't be fun!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Jello is how your knees feel. When you have the flu.

I have a joke for you....the TN Titans still haven't decided to ditch Packman Jones.

Here's something weird - I think Lolly from my hooping class is a stripper.

Cinderella,


Yellow Jello that is... gotta get the right mood color.



Still think it's much better with vitamins & amino amoure acids than virus's....



What the heck with Titans anyways...



Ooooh Lolly Poly-amourous ehh. Your really on a hooping BALLET adventure. Ballet is code to visit the rippers. Maybe she's escaping the slave trade.



Did I tell you my mother is a hooker?



She crochets blankets all day long. You know interlocking loops with her hooked needle. She get's it a Walmart.

You Watch WAY TOO MUCH Wrestling When.......



On your resume you write "I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be".



You call a beer by your name.



Instead of hugging relatives you give them bear hugs & mandible claws.



You begin to shake someone's hand in public, but then hesistate to look for the crowd's response.



You tell your significant other, "Not tonight, I'm watching RAW".



Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault it.



You get in fights with people who say wrestling is fake.



On a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown".



After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back.



You clothesline people in the supermarket for no real reason.



You elbow smash your dog & turn him/her over for the three count.



You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason.



You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cage/grudge match would settle everything.



Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper.



Instead of punishing your kids by grounding them, you threaten them with stunners, choke slams & tombstones.



When your king-size bed has ropes and turnbuckles surrounding it.



You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask.



You are refereeing a sporting event and just as someone is cheating you turn your head.



Your boss fires you and you come back to work and challenge him to a no-holds barred steel-cage wrestling match.



.