Here is my story, I will make try to make it as short as possible. About 9 months ago, I was very miserable in my marriage, my husband paid no attention to me we lived as if we were roommates and not married. I found an old friend on the internet and we began to talk and catch up on things. One thing lead to another and we ended up meeting up one weekend he lives in my hometown. He talked to me, made me feel special and intelligent. I had NEVER felt that way with my husband. I was falling for this guy. As quick as this affair started my husband found out and I ended it. Of course my husband is heart broken about the whole event and we decide to work on our marriage. He realized that he too needed to make some changes. Things were going great. Until I got a little bit of some information that I needed to watch my back because my husband was now cheating on me 9 months after my affair happened. I am a very computer saavy person so I snooped into everything I could of his. I found a number on my home caller ID and called it back it ended up being some girl. I confronted my husband about it and he said he had no idea who this girl was. I immediatley called our cell phone company and they pulled his call records for me and he called this number everyday numerous times. I then confronted him and he laughed about it. Telling me this was an old friend. Gee that sounds familiar. I knew deep down in my gut that he was lying but had no proof. I continued to grill him about her and he finally told me if I kept it up he would leave me. Once our phone bill came out I checked it and he had called this girl over 400 times and almost 400 text messages went back and forth. I told my husband I would pull all his text messages and he freaked out. He told me those are none of my bussines. When you are in a marriage everything is my business. RIGHT??? HE never apologzed to me because he insisted that nothing happened. I pointed out he could be sorry for giving someone else attention(which lead to my affair) running up our cell phone bill $300. Lying about knowing this girl. He never did. We finally seeked counciling and he admitted that his relationship was headed for an affair. He apologized but only because I was crying and the councelor asked him to do it. HE thinks that everything is fine and I still get freaked out about the whole thing every once in while will ask him for assurance that it wont happen again and he gets mad at me. I can't shake the feeling that he is still having contact with her. I have the feeling in my gut and like the last feelings that came true, I am sure this feeling is true also. How do I get him to understand even though he never had sex with this girl he still did something wrong. I need him to open up to me and talk to me about this situation so I can feel better. I did anything he asked after he found out about mine and he is not willing to do the same. I bought the book surviving an affair and he refuses to read it with me. I even went to the point to highlight the areas I feel he should read and he wont. I am just so confused. I hate this feeling that I am being lied to. I just need some advise on my situation [color:"blue"] [/color] [color:"purple"] [/color]

Copy paste your post over to General Questions II forum. It is a much busier forum than this one. Also, the site is considerably slower on weekends and holidays, so be patient, as help will come.

In the mean time, go to your local bookstore and purchase and read "Surviving an Affair" and "His Needs/Her Needs" by Dr. Willard Harley. He is the founder of this site, and he developed the Marriage Builder's philosophy. Until you get the books, read all you can about infidelity, starting at the home page of this website.

Best wishes,
SD

Payback is a ******,aint it??