Hi, I confirmed two days ago that my hubby of a little over a year just recently cheated on me. I am currently a little over 2 months pregnant. I saw an IM from the third party that was a little bothersome to me so I confronted my hubby about who the person is. He said someone he met on the internet, and that nothing is happening. I'm a jealous person by nature and of course I tried to believe but couldn't. I sniffed around and I found a pics of him and the other girl in his cellphone, it seemed like they were out on a date. My world collapsed then. I tried to hide it my pain but of course I couldn't. I asked my husband again about it again and he would tell me the same thing that its in my head and nothing is happening. I tried to not think about it for the sake of our baby. There were good days and bad days. But it just nags you and drives you crazy. But the worst day was when he confronted me why I was withdrawn and upset. I told him I really feel that he is cheating on me. And he said that he knows I checked his phone. I couldn't lie anymore to that fact, I just wanted to know if he is or not. So i admitted to the fact that I did check his cellphone and found the pics. He finally admitted and said that it only happened recently after he found out I checked his phone. He said nothing was happening like he said and it was just recently that he really did start seeing this other girl. He was pissed off with what I did and thought that since I was thinking it already, why not do it....How could he do that?? Out of spite of what I did , he did this to us....I don't know what I should do. I asked him what will happen now...he said he doesn't know...He just knows that everything will work itself out. He said his future is our baby and that he will never leave me and our baby so I shouldn't think about anything else except taking care of our baby. I told him I will never ever accept a marriage where there is a third person lurking in the background. I just won't. I will never be happy like that. I told him he needed to cut things off with that girl now. Unfortunately he said at the moment he can't promise me that. I was and still am devastated. He doesn't know what he's feeling and he's confused. He said he can't say that he loves me 100% anymore. But he will be there for me and our baby because that is his responsibility. For him, his #1 priority is our baby and that should be mine too. I need to be strong and happy for our baby so he/she will grow to be a normal, healthy and happy child. This is a concept that is hard for me to swallow considering I was cheated on. But I think back and I am at fault too. I never should have snooped around his stuff, that was the ultimate slap to him. I don't know if he will forgive me, I know I can forgive him but only if he will cut things with the other girl. I can never accept a life with my husband knowing he has a mistress out there. he told me we can't fix things in our marriage overnight. I know that. I told him I could give him the time but I told him he needs to come to a decision asap. If he chooses the other girl, I wouldn't know what I would do. My first instinct is to leave him. That pains me, to separate him from his child but I cannot agree to a life like that, sharing my husband with someone else. No way....Yesterday he was attentive to my needs but I know he is thinking hard about what he will do. He told me not to worry about it anymore, just take care of the baby. He said he hopes that he makes the right decision every single day and he can only think about taking it on one day at a time. That snapped something inside me and I realized I have to make our baby the 1st priority, if I take care of our baby properly hopefully Mike will return wholeheartedly to me as well. Today he seems more withdrawn from me, not talking to me as much. I know he hasn't seen the girl the past few days but I don't know if they have stopped text messaging each other. I know yesterday the other girl texted. I saw when his phone light up though I don't know the content of the message. My husband seemed depressed though and told me he needed to be alone. So I left him to rest for awhile. I am trying to be more happy, entertaining myself by watching comedy movies and tv shows I like. But it isn't the same....I wish he will come around soon. I don't know what I can do to help. I want to put all these behind me but I am scared that he will choose to be with the other girl also. I told him that yesterday and he said that he is here with me. I know he's here with me but it's just not the same. I guess bottomline is I want him to tell me he loves me and he chooses me and our baby and that he will forgive me for what I did also. Please help shed some light...I really don't know what to do around him anymore. I don't know if I can be affectionate or not. I am one by nature so I have the inclination to touch him and be near him. I just don't know if its welcomed or right at this moment. I don't know how to act. It's hard knowing what happened and that I contributed to it, the one I was trying to prevent in my marriage happened. I still love him very much. I just feel so sad looking at him now struggling as well. I still don't understand why he couldn't say to me that he can completely cut off things with the girl. By nature, he doesn't like to promise because he doesn't want to lie or break his promise. So i understood but I am still hurt. I just want things to be over between them. I don't know what I can do to save our relationship and our marriage and to make him leave the other girl. I just don't know what to do anymore.
