For quite some time now I find my spouse "sneaking" away to talk on his cell phone. We have 3 daughters and my daughters have even been suspicious over his phone calls. This girls name keeps coming up on his phone and he said she is just a classmate and that she is probably calling all of the classmates. Well I questioned him again and I am not happy about this other female calling him all the time. He insists they are friends only and its nothing. Well every January my spouse flies to Las Vegas for a flag football tournament. I wanted to go this year for the first time. He told me he wouldn't have time to spend with me and I'll be by myself most of the weekend since he will be playing football games most of the time and since we won't be spending much time together it would just be cheaper for him to room with another player. Well, he agreed we would go away together another time that we could actually be together. So I was ok with that. Well I noticed that the charges on our credit card was alot higher for his vegas trip than we had previously been quoted. So, I got into his email to look at the itinerary. He booked this trip for 2! The tickets had his name and this other girls name. I AM SO DEVASTATED. I asked him to leave, he says he doesn't want to and that he is nothing without me and that it was a mistake and they are strictly friends. He says they have never been intimate and that they were going only as friends. I don't believe him. The trip was booked for only 1 hotel room and a king size bed. He is a liar. When I found out I called him immediately and begin screaming. I was so hurt. He tried to lie and say the tickets were under my and his name and he was taking me as a surprise. What he did is call the airline and switch the name on the ticket thinking I didn't really know who's name was on there originally. He called her and told her there will be no Vegas trip and that she was to stop calling him. I made him call in front of me. She kept saying "are you serious? is this a joke?" Then she proceeded to ask him if he was married. His answer was that I was the mother of his children! I kicked him when he said that then he says "well yes she is my wife and we are together" If she was such a "good friend" why didn't she know about me? He says the trip never happened so I shouldn't be so mad since he didn't "cheat" on me. But it didn't happen because I ruined his plans! His intentions were there and friends or not, obviously he planned on having sex with her. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am betraying myself by letting him stay. I don't trust him. He begged me to go to vegas with him. I refuse to take a trip that he planned with another woman. He says i'm just being crazy. Needless to say, he will not be going to Vegas at all. He is upset about that. I don't care if he is upset, but how can I trust him to go at all? He told me I could not go on this trip because he wouldn't have time to spend with me, yet he was willing to take another female and make time for her! Why? I am so hurt. I read all the information and I just can't see me getting over this. Right now I can't stand to look at him. I keep asking him to leave and he says he will do whatever it takes to correct this. I am so hurt. I just don't know what to do. The hurt just doesn't seem to stop.

You sound like you know exactly what to do. There is no way that he should go, and you kept him from going. Way to stand up for yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back, you did what most BSs are afraid to do. He needs to be completely open and honest with you. You need to monitor his cell phone usage online. Start meeting his ENs and avoid LBs. Work on a good plan A. Do you want to save your marriage? Read up on this website, read SAA, and start addressing the issues that led to the state of your marriage. NO LOVE BUSTERS! I know you are pissed right now, but you can actually make the situation worse by screaming at him. He knows what he did was wrong. Just stand firm and don't allow this behavior to continue. Keep posting and updating us on your story.

You did a great job! You caught him BEFORE he made the trip. Most of the people here find out afterward, when the damage is already done.

How long have you been married, and how has the marriage been?