My wife had an EA that lasted three months. My wife and I are in Recovery for a month or so .. sometimes I get suspicious of things due to lack of trust/triggers or I get really sad and depressed..and she asks me why and I tell her as plain and as simple as I can without trying to Love Bust.. and she responds with "I don't understand why you feel that way" or "I don't understand why you don't trust me.." like she's amazed or astounded that I feel this way

I'm angry and I'm pissed off .. she hurt me the most ..becuase I loved her the most .. lies, cruelty, all the horrid horrible crap of the WS .. yep, I got my fare share of WS crap .. I'll just put it that way without having to go into the whole story .. whenever she tells me "I don't understand" or acts in any way curious about WHY I'm going through this it -- it puts me over the edge and makes me want to break things.

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We had a phone conversation and she asked me why I was doubting her about something .. and I told her .. she said "I dont Understand why.." I became so irate I slammed the phone down and hung up on her Before I opened my mouth .. before I started with the whole "Becuase you comitted ADULTERY and WANTED TO TAKE MY HOUSE, MY KID, MY FAMILY, and LEAVE ME IN THE LURCH FOR THIS OTHER SMUCK AFTER 8 YEARS OF DEDICATION AND DEVOTION!!$#!@#%^@$^@ HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TRUST YOU AGAIN AFTER ALL THE LYING, YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PEICE OF HUMAN WASTE FOR THREE WHOLE MONTHS!#%%" That's what I wanted to say but I did'nt becuase I slammed the phone down..she sent me this message. Any advice please would be appreciated.
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I am so sorry that i did what I did to loose your trust. I am seeing you at a constant battle with yourself on wether to trust me or not. And I do understand that you feel that way and why you do. I just wish I knew what I could do to make it better. I love you and I know you love me, but I hurt you beyond beliefe. I know it may seem that I dont care or dont want to hear what you are feeling. But I do I just dont know what to say or how to fix it. Im so afraid that Im going to say the wrong thing (which I do often) Im sorry if it sounds like an excuse but its the truth. If there is something that you feel I could be doing to help you with this let me know and I'm willing to do it. I do love you and want to be with you. You hung up on me out of anger and i dont understand why. Did I not say the right thing. I really dont understand where all this anger is coming from I get the feeling that you really do hate me even though you love me.

Will your wife post here? We can help her understand.

In Shock:

What do you what her to say?

What else would you like to ask her?

What else would you say, if you had 15 minutes of her time, without repercussions? I mean, what could you yell, scream, holler, with invective, curses, triades, etc, at your WS and she could never repeat them back to you, use them against you, or remind you of them later. Your truth to her. What would that look like? You can certainly vent here.

She is a WS. She will never "Understand" your feelings. I will never "Understand" the feelings of my BS. I can only, through my actions, that are caring and loving show her that I want to minimize all the hurt that I have caused her. And when she triggers for what ever reason, do my best to reduce that hurt.