Just wondering -

How did "your" affair start? Were you "just friends" in the beginning, and if so, for how long before you became physical? Did you always tell yourself: "it could never happen to me".

Who made the first move towards intimicay?

Just curious!

All affairs start as "Just Freinds'. You have been given good advice here in your first thread, but you don't seem to understand where your actions are ultimately taking you.

Go home, tell your husband. Also go google "A Womans Infidelity" site where you may get more support from women in current afairs.

Overwhelmingly affairs are always a bad idea even when it's just HEAVY flirting.

Make no doubt YOU ARE IN AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR RIGHT NOW. Your questions, views and excuses clearly tell us this.

Have you come clean yet?

Usually affairs start as just "friends" with someone in close contact, like someone in your group of friends or a coworker. You can talk to each other naturally and enjoy the conversation. After a while the conversations get a little more flirty, and eventually they start getting more serious, like about emotions, marital problems, etc. They like spending time with the OP, so they hang out by themselves. They start feeling a strong emotional connection with the OP, and pretty soon one of them crosses the line. But you can't tell your WS this because they would be upset, and keep you from seeing this "friend" that you really care about. You swear to yourself it will never happen again. But then it does, and you start rationalizing why it happened. I'm not a terrible person, I just don't love my WS, the OP and I are soulmates, my WS was never a good spouse and we were never in love, etc. Then there is no way out.

This is how most affairs start. Don't let it happen to you.

You know, most people don't have affairs because they fell out of love with their spouse, most people fell out of love with their spouse because they were having an affair.

And most affairs end with the two people who seemed so enamored with each other realizing that they have nothing truly in common, and the relationship's main draw was the inappropriate pairing, leaving both feeling ashamed of both themselves, and the other person. Plus very often the former affair partners have no feelings for each other than disgust and revulsion.