I met someone on line and then it continued into many phone calls 2 mths), lasting up to 2-3 hours a night/ 4 or 5 nights a week. The phone calls started out simple, getting to know each other, then evolved into talking about relationships. We meet twice and I found the actual person to be very different then the person on the phone. There was still a mutual attraction so the phone conversations continued and got more personal-which was fine with both of us. The attractions was very mutual. We both have children and share them on the same weekends, so meeting everyother weekend wasn't a problem.

My problem: For new years, I told him that I was saving that time for him. He told me that he was returning his children that day, so he could have that time open-he implied to keep our evening together, but never said it was a date. He didn't tell me that he wasn't able to keep the date until that afternoon. Needless to say, my feelings were hurt and I let him know-just telling him that I thought he didn't have more for anyone else...me. He didn't respond to me for a few days, then he told me that he just got a wake up call by my response and said that I wanted more than he could give. I told him that I understood, that I do want more and felt he did too or we wouldn't be at this point. I said call me if he missed me, with no expectations or guarantees. I really like this man and thought that he felt the same way.

Should I just let it go? Did I scare him away? Any advice is welcome.

well, dating after divorce is def an interesting thing. my ex left in july of 05. i dated around a bit that fall but was really no where near ready to date anyone on a consistent basis. again in the early spring i dated around a bit but was still just not ready completely. i started talking to someone in april (from this board in fact) and since august we having been dating exclusively so we can see where this goes and to really get to know the most we can about one another. we know we don't want to date anyone else but we also know we still want to "just date" and enjoy that ritual for as long as we can before we start considering something more serious. BUT, this was something decided after 5-6 months of getting to know eachother and setting up dates and meetings.

i will be the first to say that every sitch is different BUT i would think that after only 2 months to be talking exclusive would be a bit soon. it doesn't mean you have "scared him away" completely. you said YOU are ready for more after only 2 months but HE is not. you might be able to still date him if you there is NO future or serious talk involved. but that is up to him.

i would just lay low with him for a bit. let him come to you. let him process and think a bit. if you both enjoyed eachother's company i don't see why you couldn't still just date. but really, at this point, that is up to him. 2 months is just such a short time i think. there's no rush, take your time! if he is the right one to keep dating, and he feels that way, he will still be around.

keep busy and don't dwell. worst thing you can do.

mlhb

And this means...?


And why would you need a man who's so easy to scare away? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You need, at least, someone who's well mannered and says (on time!) when he cannot keep his word...