Oh, and tell hubby that you are not trying to sabotage anything, you just thought that the OW's parents should know about the adultery.

silent

what were you thinking?

how COULD you do something so awful?

you've gone and hurt OW feelings, caused trouble for her in fantasy land, AND made her family think she's a home wrecking wh*re

WHY would you do this?

WHAT has she ever done to you?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

THIS may be the only thing you had left to try that may end the A

other than another plan B.....

I don't think I will be talking to WH at all. What's the point, really? I'm IN Plan B again, as far as I'm concerned. I sent an email stating that I did not want to receive any messages from him at all, for any other reason than regarding our son.

This call will probably not end anything, but it was me turning the light on their R, making it open, like it or not. It's ALL on them now. I'm washing my hands and walking away.

For all I know, OW denied denied denied. Meh, I did what I needed for ME. I just needed to make some kind of stand for myself, my self-respect and the respect of my family, my son. NO MORE LIES!!!!

Good for you, SL!

Have a good night's sleep, knowing you struck a blow against the dark side. The Force was with you.

When asked by the WS why expose, I told him because I thought he wanted everyone to know. Wasn't he happy about his A? Thought it was the best thing? He was supposedly with his 'best friend'? LOL!!! I reverse babbled waaay back then (before it was even named RB - <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> ) . The Ws was furious, because even though he claimed t/b happy, he really wasn't and my exposure proved it.

Stupid WS'. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Bravo, Lucidity!! You are an exposin' machine! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Should I think this is all farcical.

I don't plan on speaking to my WH about this. In my head, I was thinking what Orchid posted. Such a happy couple, I really thought her family should be aware that their daughter was in love with my H and they were moving in together. Wuv, TWU WUV!

I remember her mother asking me where I got their number. I told her I looked them up on the internet, white pages. I guess it's a knee jerk reaction. Like, how dare you call me, but at the same time, she was in shock. I felt really bad for her.

Now, a question for y'all. How do I handle his living situation in regards to visitation with my son. WH claims that his OW will be out of town next weekend, when my DS would normally have his weekend with dad, but after that, what should I do? I DO NOT want my son dealing with MORE on top of what he is dealing with now. Should I inform WH that he will be able to spend time during the day with son on his weekends, but will have no overnights until he has his OWN place? Do I have any recourse here?

[color:"purple"]ROFLMAO [/color]

if there is a court order, follow it

if there is NOT a court order ~~~> do whatever YOU think is best for your boy!

Our LSA states that he has visitation every other weekend, so I must follow. I did speak to WH regarding this prior to him leaving, and we both agreed that it would be HIGHLY detrimental to our son to have to deal with GREAT loss, followed by GREAT change, and then have to deal with OP and the confusion that comes along with that, AND have to share HIS time with his daddy with someone else.

I can only hope that the WH keeps this up, but I'm not counting on it...WH is far too important to allow others to get in the way of HIS true happiness. What a mess...

Tell DS that you want to know if he meets any new people when he visits Daddy. Tell him he should try to remember people's names when he meets someone new.

IF DS is subjected to OW ... call OW's mom back .... "I regret to inform you that my 4-year-old son has been personally exposed to adultery. I am heartbroken. Please intervene on the behalf of my 4 year old."

Do you have more RE-exposure targets?
Anyone who should know he has CONTINUED his affair?

Only his HR department, which I emailed yesterday. I will follow up with a call if I hear nothing. My WH has no family, so no one there to expose to, and my family knows, his friends know, and have never really been very useful anyway, so, unless I haven't exposed to his remaining family (me and his son, that is), there is no one else.

SL...great job on the expose!!!!!

yes, it is a mess....and you are right not to trust in any promises WH makes, but remember that this goes both ways..if your son is sharing his attention, then so is OW...does she have kids?? she won't like sharing the attention of WH.

when my WS got her apart. in jan, OP was there the very next day...with my kids...I was in a panic, but again no recourse. that was the only time (that I know of) that they ever hung out with WS and OP together. OP does not have any kids (but always wanted them) and did not like sharing WS with DS3,8 and D5....now there's a 2for fantasy breaker...WS idea of her new "family" and OP's dream of "family" gosh reality really bites.

don't lose heart...the addition of your son to the mix will undoubtedly be more of a reality bringer to the fantasy...and also don't forget that DS will be talking about his mom like all kids do..that will disturb OW as well. it bites that your son has to be exposed to that but do you have any legal reason to keep him away??? there should be a law against it...the poor kids get dragged into it. ARGGGG!!!

Do a complete background check (via internet) on the OW. Cos a few bucks but it may be worth it. If it yields anything that will stop or revise the LSA in your favor then file to have it changed. Nothing like letting the COURT know the OW is has outstanding warrants, etc. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

This is to protect your child from an OW. It isn't about the OW's privacy. She lost that when she dropped her panties in public. Yep an A is a public event....RE: they ain't married. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

L.

I looked up any court appearances in Maryland and NJ, doesn't look like anything there. She's fairly squeaky, except for the whole committing adultery thingy. My WH said he thought she was a bit naive. I say she's a TOOL!

I'm not concerned one iota about the OW's privacy, except for what the constitution of USA dictates, other than that, she's a home wreching POS to me, HECK, at this point WH is a home-wrecking POS, too. Now, if H showed up, that would be a different story, but he IS who he is right NOW, and I must go with that persona and treat him accordingly.

Fighting, you nailed it. I don't think the time my WH will be spending ALONE with my son will HELP their R much. Again, I hope WH holds up his end, because it's dang easy to hold up mine. I don't plan on being in any new R until after D, and then, that person will not be a part of my DS's life until proven worthy. Sounds rough for any new man in my life, but if he is a MAN, he'll respect me and my needs.

Truth is, I'd rather be a success story here on MB, and I'll see what I can do, but I'm not promising anybody anything. I'll promise myself that I will be happy, and healthy, and I'll do all I can to ensure that my son is too.

U R a success story. That is within your control. As regards your M being a success story....well you do require the assistance of a repentant Xws. That may take a while and if it doesn't happen, your personal success will give you the strength to move forward and find happiness for you and your family.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Btw, squeaky clean or not, I'd still shell out bucks for a full online check.

Hugz,
L.

Right after d-day, WH and I made an agreement that he would NOT have the boys around RT "until I was comfortable with it." (=he!! FREEZING OVER!)

After WH filed for D, I wanted it included in our Temporary Orders (which are in effect for the pendancy of the D) that there be no contact between my boys and RT. My attorney requested that of WH's attorney, who objected, stating the it would be "unfair" to my boys, since they were such "good friends" with RT's kids.

(Yeah, we NOW KNOW WHY they were such good friends...their parents kept pushing them together so the kids could provide cover for their affair)

He would agree to no overnights with RT in the boys presence, however (how gracious and generous of him to not expose his children to his blatent adultery while he is still married to their MOTHER)

Anyway, I told my attny that the whole "friends" bit was a load of cr*p, since the kids had not seen one another since d-day, which was six months previous. The boys are 8 and 11. They've moved on...they've got other friends, they don't attend the same school...it's a big "whatever" to them.

Ultimately, WH's attorney still wouldn't agree to have it in the orders (so that's WH's position)...but the compromise was that the verbal agreement would be spelled out in a cover letter that went along with the temporary orders, AS WELL as a statement that if that verbal agreement were violated, that I would go to court immediately to get it included.

FWIW...

Not a good afternoon. PMS has set in, and I just spoke to WH about some time that I needed to spend with my son during his weekend.

He then turned to asking me what I thought I was doing by calling OW's parents. Apparently they already know of their R, and were frightened that I was THREATENING their daughter. I did no such thing. I only told them that she was having an A with my H, and that WH and I have a 4 yo son. I feel awful that they think I was threatening. I certainly was calm when I told OW's mother, so I'm unsure where the threatening part was.

Now that this part is over, and WH is furious, because I crossed the line (as he said), I'm sad. I'm hurt. I just want to get past this and be happy again, maybe tomorrow will be that day. Man, who ever thought separation and divorce would be this emotionally draining and painful. The world at large makes it seem so blasee.