It's really a let down when the parties you expose to already know.

you believe your husband????

I don't

Pep

Do not buy into his SPIN on this.
He's trying to make you feel stupid and uncomfortable.

You really have NO IDEA what kind of communication happened between OW, her parents and WH.

He's trying to make you think they are all on his side -- very likely untrue.

He's trying to put his crap on you....

DON'T ACCEPT IT!

SL,

Two things. #1--for PMS in Plan B, invest in chocolate and some bubble bath RIGHT NOW! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> You gotta get through your PMS on your own girl and not drag your WH into your moodiness. I know it's easy to focus some of that PMS-iness on his sorry heiney, but stay away from him! Eat chocolate and soak in a bubble bath instead!

#2--it is the word of a DEEPLY fogged in WH and his lying wistress telling you that her parents felt like you were "threatening their daughter." Of course, those two also wondered "Why are you doing this?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> So, don't take their word for it, sweetie. You were there--you spoke to them--you know how you were (and it sounds like you were calm and collected)--and you know how they reacted (and it sounds like they were shocked and not approving). This is only the cheaters' way of making you the bad guy (which of course you're not) and justifying their ongoing life of lies.

In real life, it probably put a lot of heat on them.

Now...chocolate!! Go!!!

Your faithful friend,


CJ

I didn't, I just don't like the part where he said I sounded threatening, because his OW told him that I said, to her parents, the OW was in for a fall. I don't recall saying that. I did say that his A with OW was not his first. Maybe that was what they interpreted.

All that I know is that putting a nail in my M coffin is tricky business, and I must accept the outcome of that; what that will be takes oodles of time, so I'm okay with Plan B. I also just found out, through internet intel, that this OW works with my WH!!! I should have known. I'm glad that I got that piece of info. I emailed his HR department just this afternoon.

I feel doubly duped and it hurts today. I have made some bad decisions, and now I'm ready to set that right. I am looking forward to feeling quiet and safe again. I don't feel that right now.

Pep, what's a girl to believe when lies are all she has been given to deal with?

believe your own good sense

YOU KNOW you were not threatening ... you KNOW your H is a lying POS

THANK YOU ALL, for helping me to feel sane. PMS SUX! I have found that I am MUCH more emotional now than ever during PMS. I like a good cry, but COME ON!

OVerwhelming is the news and conversation I've had today. Again, I let HR know, so now I'm out. I feel like an idiot for not KNOWING that they worked together. I didn't even know her last name until I looked her up online, and upon Mel's advice, I paid the $50 to do a background check and WHAMMO, there it was, place of work. OUCH!!

your lying cheating husband KNOWS where your buttons are ... and he pushes them ... and you go into a tailspin

this "button" is ... your kindness ... you would NEVER do anything to deliberately harm another person ... soooooooooooooooo

your lying POS WH tells you that you hurt this woman .... KNOWING that it will upset you

he's REALLY pissing me off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

YOU KNOW you were not threatening ... you KNOW your H is a lying POS

You are right, I was non-threatening, just as I was with HIM, on the phone. He asked who else I may have told. I was calm, and I kept asking what the problem was with people knowing the truth, what does truth hurt. He told me that what I said was slander. I told him to look up the definition of slander in the dicitonary

slander
- words falsely spoken that damage the reputation of another

stop talking to him

he manipulates you too easily

Yeah, Pep, he pisses me off too! I really do mean that. Initially, the shock of hearing the voice of the man that used to be inhabited by my H, being mean and verbally abusive HURTS. Then, my senses come back and I become angry.

I can't wait for Thursday to come and go, so that I do not have any excuses to speak to him, and neither he to me.

After today, really, there is no reason for me to speak to him again.

LOL - YOU CROSSED THE LINE!!!!!! That's a good one.

silent

don't beleive him that her parents knew!

even if they knew "about him"

I bet the didn't know he was still married, that this A is the reason your marriageis breaking up OR that he had just come back home and attempted to reconcile with you

also...don't beleive his cr*p about them thinking you were threatening her

he's just saying all of this to keep you from contacting them again

because it is causing love busting problems in fantasy land ...and may break up the A

when i spoke to OWH, i told him that I would help him to get full custody if he needed me to testify to provehis wife committed adultry

my H and OW called me screaming that "i was threatening her children"

HUH?

and when i called OW house, her daughter answered the phone.....all i did was ask to speak to her mother

my H called me again screaming about how I was threating her children and his exact words were...."I can't beleive that a TEACHER would do this....my GOD A TEACHER!!"

I wonder if they are so far gone they beleive thier own lies and warped reality

way to go on contacting her parents and HR and doing the research to find out OW worked with him

I do have a question.

Why did you wait so long to do this? Haven't you known about the A for 2 years?

Yeah, I did like that one. *I* crossed the line. He also said this gem everytime I made a TRUTHFUL point, "Well, I guess we are just at am impass". I said there is no impass, that I'm not trying to solve anything with him or work anything out. He hasn't been truthful or honest with me for so long, I don't really understand how he could believe that I would now.

Bugs Bunny always comes to mind..."What a maroon."

I feel normal again. Momentary lapse of reason. I'll be right back on track. Just wanted everyone to know, *I* sleep fine at night....

Oh, eav, NO this A is a new A. His INTIAL affair was with a CO-WORKER, who, within three months, went back to her H and cut off ALL communication with WH. First OW found another job and left.

This woman was someone that I was made to believe that he met and wanted to have a R with (his words) last October, when, again, he talked about reconiliation. I didn't know her name, I thought I heard him say her name, so I went with that name, nothing else about her was said, and he wasn't telling. When he came home this time, he talked about "OW's name here" and how naive he thought she was. I found her number on his cell and the rest is history. AS soon as WH left, I started looking her up, and planned to expose. That's what I did. No warning shots, just expose.

Explain to me again, what's the BIG DEAL! I mean, we're married and I feel like I want everyone to know what's happening in OUR marriage.

He kept saying that I have no RIGHT to do this, that I am slandering him. I think that it would be slander if I were being malicious. He said it was, what other way is their to see MY actions. He said I was just trying to hurt him and OW. I said that I was telling MY truth and that it had nothing to do with he and OW, besides being the truth.

SL, you know it's Fogtalk. Stop listening to it. Don't get dragged down into it. No good can come from it.

Exposing to the OW parents was good, but leave it there. Otherwise you'll just keep triggering yourself.

Be strong. I'm so sorry.

Silent,

Can't you smell the stink from the BS he's giving you. You ruined his pretty little affair.

What you did was right..... what about the line he crossed every time he cheated on you. You are not slandering him truth isn't slander.

((((Hugs)))

Still

sorry i didn't understand! thanks for explaining

don't worry about his reaction to exposure

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!

they all hate exposure because it changes things....it causes problems for them

it can only HELP you in the end