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Update:
First of all, I'd like to thank you all for helping me out with the EA my FWW had. I was lucky enough to catch it at 2 months into it before she was able to physically connect with him. You gave me some great advice and I thank you.
I've read His needs Her needs. I've read countless posts of infidelity here. I must say that this was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through considering the fact I'm new into AA (45 days).
I was getting these thoughts from my WW:
1. I'm not 'in' love with you anymore 2. I love you as the children's Father. 3. I can't go on with you in this house. 4 I won't stop calling OM 5. OM is none of your business and I don't want to answer to anyone but myself. 6. The only wy for me to feel for you again is for you to move out and be a man about it. 7. He's just a friend and nothing is happening. 8. You are selfish AFTER EXPOSURE: (OM and I had a talk. He took it upon himself to go into NC!!!!!!!!!!!!! WW called 10 times before giving up.....says she has no "closure" to the EA.) Like I care about that.
1. I hate you you selfish A-hole. 2. You sabotaged me again just to make yourself feel better. 3. I can't trust you. 4. You are jealous, suspicious and suffocating.
Well, after a lot of tumultuous talk, we have a better understanding of needs and it helps for her to notice I'm sober and am changing my ways. I now love with no expected results. I've given myself to the family and have tossed away all my selfish thoughts and actions the best I can.
Now, FWW tells me she loves me, calls me the pet names again and is happy to see me at the end of the day.
Example of yesterday: When she came home last night the kids were fed, bathed, homework done, rooms cleaned, oldest DD had been to and back from Brownie scouts. I had a fire made, lights low and had 2 scented candles on each side of a vase of flowers and a box of chocolates. The card read "I'm so proud of you" (She's dong great at her new job, just out of being a SAHM for 5 years straight. This had created identity and suffocation issues for her)
I feel like we are 20 again and we look into each others eyes with love. She reaches out to hold me. The fear is now gone and the other thing I've learned is to never give up. I need to keep building and the marriage should get even better!!
THANKS AGAIN!!!
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HURRRRAYAYYAYYAYYA!
Go DF! That must be an awesome feeling for you!
I'll do the happy dance with you! ^*($!@^*@*$)@$(@$(**)))_
You have been a blessing to this community... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ...
But that's just my OPINION!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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Very good for you DF. Long hard road ahead and full of bumps, but keep up the MB principles and trust God and I have a feeling things will work out!
Great to see some good news for a change.
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DF,
That was too d*mn easy! Why couldn't my situation be that easy?!?
Well, congratulations are in order. And to think, you initially resisted our advice. Looking back, where do you think you would be if you didn't follow the advice? This is why you need to stay here and continue to post from time to time, to tell others of your story so they buy into the MB principles.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Fantastic DF!
It goes to show us that the Harley plans work, however not at everyones expected pace.
BTW, I heard most of the same things your FWW said to you back in her EA.
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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Nice <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33 2 kids DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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DF,
That was too d*mn easy! Why couldn't my situation be that easy?!?
Well, congratulations are in order. And to think, you initially resisted our advice. Looking back, where do you think you would be if you didn't follow the advice? This is why you need to stay here and continue to post from time to time, to tell others of your story so they buy into the MB principles. You are right! I was letting her walk all over me, pushing me out of the house and I was like..."OK"....... NO WAY! You all helped me stay put and take a stand. Yes it was too easy compared to y'all but it was only a 2 month EA. She still has no closure, but oh well, we have a new beginning now. I am staying here. I feel compelled to help others and give away some of what I have.
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You have been a blessing to this community... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ...
But that's just my OPINION!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I can't fool ALL of the people, but I can fool "some"...like you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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LMAO... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Right back at you! LMAO
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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Congratulations! Keep up the good work.
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Great Job!!!
btw there is no such thing as "Closure" for A, EA or PA. They just end!!!
That's the way it must be.
Closure means more contact and then it would never end.
JKG
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