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But it is more of me giving up. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself.
Don't start this chit Dog!!! You are NOWHERE NEAR GIVING UP!!! You are much better off than others here. Your wife is still with you and talking to you. Others have moved on and left the H/W and kids for good.
Let's work on how to get your WW to move with you. Why not tell her what the OM said about her. MEDC, if Dog's wife doesn't believe the things the things the OM said, would you offer to get OM on speaker phone and let OM tell her? Kinda proving how OM feels.
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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MEDC, if Dog's wife doesn't believe the things the things the OM said, would you offer to get OM on speaker phone and let OM tell her? Kinda proving how OM feels. not a bad idea... but I would still insist on NC... so... I don't know..
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Also, another thing that worries me is her mother. She would probably help my WW out financially.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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I know - the contact thing. This is why I said speaker phone. Let her hear OM saying that he can't trust her and such. Maybe Dog and OM do the talking and not Mrs Dog. Keep it short and to the point.
With him living upstairs it's kinda like working together in a big building. They will see each other and such, this has to end.
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Or have OM send Mrs Dog a NC letter. Seems like OM wants to help Dog in a way. He came back down to Dog's apartment to show him a text so maybe he will send a letter too if asked.
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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I would NOT count on OM to do anything to help the M. He is a dirtbag and really should be treated as an enemy to the M.
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Or have OM send Mrs Dog a NC letter. Seems like OM wants to help Dog in a way. He came back down to Dog's apartment to show him a text so maybe he will send a letter too if asked. That might be worth a shot. Regarding her mother and financial support. Her mother co-signed for my wife's student loan. She has an incentive to help her daughter out.
Last edited by Dogfood; 01/15/07 12:34 PM.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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I would NOT count on OM to do anything to help the M. He is a dirtbag and really should be treated as an enemy to the M. He he, I've been thinking about going out for a beer with him. You know, keep thy enemy close.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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Df,
I agree with moving if she goes with you. I'm not so sure it is a good idea or you to leave her though. As a matter of fact that is exactly what whe wanted you to do in the first place. So I think move both of you great. If not stay and fight to get her back with you.
You have made some progress by breaking up the A so far. If she won't move and it seem she has options and outside help (interference) it seems likely she will stay.
So more to think about.
JKG
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I would NOT count on OM to do anything to help the M. He is a dirtbag and really should be treated as an enemy to the M. He he, I've been thinking about going out for a beer with him. You know, keep thy enemy close. Ah NO I hope you are kidding. Please tell me you are.
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Df,
I agree with moving if she goes with you. I'm not so sure it is a good idea or you to leave her though. As a matter of fact that is exactly what whe wanted you to do in the first place. So I think move both of you great. If not stay and fight to get her back with you.
You have made some progress by breaking up the A so far. If she won't move and it seem she has options and outside help (interference) it seems likely she will stay.
So more to think about. That is what I worry about. About 3.5 years ago, we were going through a tough time financially. Her mother came to the rescue. Now, we are doing great in the area of finances. My WW has expressed concern about not making it on her own, but if I know her mother, she will help.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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I would NOT count on OM to do anything to help the M. He is a dirtbag and really should be treated as an enemy to the M. He he, I've been thinking about going out for a beer with him. You know, keep thy enemy close. Ah NO I hope you are kidding. Please tell me you are. Yes, i am kidding. But I do wonder how she would react to that.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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If the Harley's are right... and I think they are... that recovery cannot even begin until there is NC... then moving is necessary immediately. If you stay you will NEVER be comfortable leaving your house. This is no way to live and since you are NOT prepared to fight... which would include doing everything you can to get him out of the building... and trust me I would be talking to someone at the apartment corporation EVERY DAY until this is resolved...then leaving is your only option.
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MEDC
What;s the point of him moving and her staying?
That accomplishes nothing.
JKG
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I think she has to go with DF or it's a no deal.
JKG
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If the Harley's are right... and I think they are... that recovery cannot even begin until there is NC... then moving is necessary immediately. If you stay you will NEVER be comfortable leaving your house. This is no way to live and since you are NOT prepared to fight... which would include doing everything you can to get him out of the building... and trust me I would be talking to someone at the apartment corporation EVERY DAY until this is resolved...then leaving is your only option. I will talk with the office people again today and tell them about the drug arrest. Maybe it will light a fire under them.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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The approach might be to coerce OM to leave. Fight Dirty!!!!!!
JKG
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I think she has to go with DF or it's a no deal. That is what I am scared of. Some of my friends have suggested I just go and let her live on her own and try to pay rent, etc...so that she will see that it wasn't so bad being with me. At least it was a lot easier than being by herself. They tell me that she would come back after a bit.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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and what point is there in staying in this burning building. nc means nc. I understand where you are coming from...I just don't see any other way.
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But him moving out was the thing that allowed the A to start in the first place.
I totally agree if she had no outside help then MOVE.... She would have to go with you. That's good.
But with her staying you will have to fight, make a plan and put on the pressure to both her and OM> And the Friends that are interfering.
Last edited by JustKeepGoin; 01/15/07 01:11 PM.
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