On a post here, AGG's or Gnome's, there was mention of a woman being a good hugger.

I'd like clarification please.

I know how I hug my children, I remember how I hugged ex when I loved him, I know I have different hugs for different people. What constitutes a "good" hug when you find yourself attracted to someone you've dated a couple/few times & are wanting to get to know them better?

GG, you said your ex's hugs made you feel like you were going to fall. How did that work?

It can be confusing when hugging a man when you're not certain of the message you're sending. Full body press with some extra movement might be seen as too much. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

That would have been me: "I like the way she hugs. Nothing tentative or gingerly about it."

In the circles to which I am accustomed, a male-female hug is typically performed by each of us leaning forward, reaching one arm out, and achieving essentially two points of contact: arm against shoulder, and fingers on back. A light pat on the back is optional. A male-male hug is actually a bit closer, with the entire forearm resting against the back, but is otherwise pretty much the same. (The optional "pat" becomes more of a slap.) The hug is conducted at such an angle that head-to-head contact is avoided or at least limited to a light brush of the hair.

The good-bye hug I got was initiated by the woman in question, by her leaning forward and reaching one arm around me (full forearm contact along the back) for a brief but firm and slightly lingering hold, close enough and frontal enough that the sides of our heads rested against each other and there was some incidental upper-body contact. It was affectionate rather than forward, and opened no opportunity to question whether a kiss was either desired or dreaded.

It was perfect. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I can think of a few hugs I've had with the same guy that were amazing.
I don't know if I can give proper credit thru words how it felt, but I'll try.

They made me feel secure, appreciated, they were sincere like there was a feeling of connection, probably like no other hug I had ever felt [other than during the good times when I was married]. It wasn't in a sexual way, but more honest and true if that makes sense.

I would say they were a full on hug, very close.
I don't hug all men that way. If it's someone I don't have feelings for or more a friend kind of guy, I keep space between us, as in, abs not touching.

There's nothing better than a "good hug". Meaning, one that is genuinely felt between two people. Ahhhhh, makes me miss them! Those are the things you don't realize you're not having until you're forced to remember. Darn!

K.

My ex hugged by leaning forward so far that I either had to step back or risk falling backwards.

At first I thought it was because he was taller than me, but I know differently now.

I dunno... Every woman I dated said I am a great hugger, but I guess you gotta ask them what that means in real terms. Oh, they all say I'm the best kisser too, but that wasn't the question, I guess... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

AGG

nice answer karona....

and "whatever" agg... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

mlhb

So, ladies, should I go ahead and ask the question: What else do they say you're the best at, AGG?;)

We're waiting?????????????????

Hugs, Kisses, ?????

Now he's gonna be all shy.

karona i shot you an offline message, just basically said i want you to email me and fill me in on what has been going on with you ok??? nuff whining from me, i wanna hear how things are going with you! so fess up.

mlhb

Sorry, I didn't see it.

I will get in touch with you soon.
My plate has been overflowing the last few days.

K!

Oh geez, lots of things...

AGG

Geez Gnome, I think any hug would have been a good hug coming from this particular lady. I'll bet see could have poked you in the eye & you would have found it endearing.

I hope someone feels that way about me one day soon.

It's interesting how the men have given a physical description of the hug while the women have given a description of their emotional response to hugs.

Pah leeeze AGG, you don't think that meager post will do!

GG, if you want to share, please tell more about why your ex gave you those overbearing hugs.

If I had to guess I'd say my hugs to a newish guy would be reserved, not a whole lot of body contact. I remember one terrible hug & it was my doing. It was very awkward, as if we shouldn't have hugged but felt as if we should. Maybe I was the tree AGG spoke of.

It's hard for me to feel like I want to give a close hug on a first or second date. Maybe I've just not met the right guy & when I do I'll want to give my very best hug.

Know I'm starting to wonder if I'm a bad hugger. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I can take any hug but a 'pro forme' hug...

Well, as for hugs, I think it helps that I have really long arms - I can wrap them around my huggee and make her feel safe and comfy.

As far as the kissing and the other stuff, uh, I dunno <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />. I have really long arms...

AGG

The best hugs of my life (other than from my daughter) were years ago from a boyfriend named George. The first time I ever met him, we were at a festival and everyone was wandering all over the fields setting up teepees and tents. I saw him from way across a field and felt irresistibly drawn to him. He kept his eyes focused my direction, though we were too far apart to really make eye contact, as I walked all the way across the field and into his arms. When he hugged me, it felt as if I completely melted into him, like we were one body for a moment in time. It took us 6 years of friendship to finally have an actual relationship, and that lasted only one summer, but oh! those hugs were heavenly. Nobody has ever held me like that before or since.

I think it helped that he was exactly the right height for me (I'm 5 feet, he was about 5 foot 4 or so). He had just the right amount of softness, too, although he was definitely in shape - just not the hard-bodied shape that is so popular today. I loved being in his arms and would have been sorely tempted by him if I had been married at the time. All this because of the best, warmest, most melting hugs of my life.

Okay, this has gone far enough. I haven't had a bf in a very long time and all this kind of talk is hard on a woman's heart.

K.

It's not my fault... Nams asked, so as my son would say, "She started it!".

AGG

And me being a mom, I'd say,
And I finished it!

K.