I just got blind sighted recently that my husband wants a divorce. As far as he's concerned he was never truely in love with me and only stayed to be with our little girl who is now 2yo. We have since then also had a little boy 7mon that was a planned pregnancy. He says he thought he could make himself be with me for the sake of his family, but that he's just never been happy. Of course we've had our problems like any other married couple. The now problem is that he's started talking to an old high school friend that is also feeling trapped in her marriage and they are leaning on eachother for support. All the while i'm fighting to keep my marriage. He says he's fallen in love with her. How do you try to fight for someone when you have another woman feeding him all her BS too.

I'm an emotional wreck over how to fight for my husband. He say her while we were on vacation in his hometown....other than that we live out of state from her. He can't move up there for almost another 2yrs because of being stationed here. I don't believe they have actually slept together, but i know he's planning a life with her.

The only communication they can have is by phone and email....what about her husband? I don't even know if she's told him any of this. I've tried the begging....I've tried the pleading....how will he ever be open to listening to reason with her around?

Grneyes,

Welcome to MB although I'm sorry for the reasons that brought you here. But you will be supported & encouraged by those here to try to save your M if that's what you choose. Some questions so we're better able to help you:

How long ago did he ask for a D (divorce)?
How long ago did you find out he's been talking to this OW (other woman)?
How long have you been M'd (married)? It doesn't sound like you've been M'd that long.

You say he met her when you were on vacation? I bet that's when this started & he asked you for a D after you came home.


Begging, pleading, won't work. Believe me, I tried too at the beginning. Every BS does. However, there are the Plan A & B in place by Dr. Harley that has been successful in breaking up A's (affairs) in many M's. Your H (husband) is in what's called an EA (emotional affair). Right now it hasn't progressed physically, but your next question, "How will he be open to listening...." has an easy answer -- He won't. As long as the OW is there disrupting things, he will not even consider working on this M.

Please read up on Plan A & Plan B. They are very useful tools. My H had an A for 7 months, we were seperated for 4 of those months & we are now in recovery. I've also had the experience of him telling me right in the eye that he hated me & he would never come back. That turned out to not be true.

Right now you can expect withdrawal from him while he's in this EA, but w/some work on your part, doing an effective Plan A for the next few months, you can try to break up the EA & turn his attention back toward your M.