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Very weird. Occasionally, like every 6 months or so, I do an internet search for RM, 2 make sure he's still 2 states away and doing no obvious harm. 2day, I got a link 2 a recent news article with a pic of him in the scene. How do I feel? I didn't feel a thing, ac2ally. They guy's pretty unremarkable looking. If anything, he looks older than 40 by quite a bit. I wondered if I'd feel like doing violence on his hiney after I saw the pic (the google link clued me it was a caption to a picture). Now that I know what he looks like? Nah, he's not worth the bother. I may comment on my observations at some point in conversation with my W, though. Good riddance 2 pathetic 2wits! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> -ol' 2long
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Sorry for any difficult feelings.
I know you can take it though - just wish you didn't have to.
SS
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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hey brother 2 ... just another healing step
what we imagine is sometimes worse than the actual reality
sometimes not ... but often is
go buy a Mars bar
Pep
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I may comment on my observations at some point in conversation with my W, though. Her reaction to your comments may clue you in on where she is in her withdrawel process. So brace yourself in case of possible defense mode on her part. "looks are nothing!" "how shallow of you" "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" or if further along in withdrawel: "I know, what was I thinking" "he doesn't compare to you, that is for sure" "it was the Fog, just remembering that mug scares me, blech!" Last time I saw a pic of my ex it made me seriously sick to my stomach. I honestly thought I was going to be sick.
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I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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And just think -- that plain "nothing" picture was no doubt the best one he had.
Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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Sorry for any difficult feelings.
I know you can take it though - just wish you didn't have to.
SS No plobrem (I have a Japanese friend who ac2ally pronounces it just like that). I really am not having any difficult feelings. That, even though after all my disappointments I certainly don't know beyond a daddow of a shout that there's no more contact. -ol' 2long
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Her reaction to your comments may clue you in on where she is in her withdrawel process. So brace yourself in case of possible defense mode on her part.
"looks are nothing!" "how shallow of you" "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" I like this one, that a friend of mine came up with many years ago: "Beauty is only skin deep, but 'ugly' is 2 the bone." That applies here and now, though I wouldn't call RM "beautiful" by any stretch. *Looks like he kissed a passing freight train recently. *He could go lion hunting with a switch. or if further along in withdrawel:
"I know, what was I thinking" "he doesn't compare to you, that is for sure" "it was the Fog, just remembering that mug scares me, blech!" While I would love 2 get this kind of response, I'm not sure I ever will, regardless if she's fully withdrawn or no. Last time I saw a pic of my ex it made me seriously sick to my stomach. I honestly thought I was going to be sick. Maybe I should bring a bucket if I show her the pic2re! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I'd LOVE 2 see her barf in response! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> -ol' 2long
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And just think -- that plain "nothing" picture was no doubt the best one he had.
Mulan No doubt, considering it was taken by a professional photographer! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> -ol' 2long
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Oh, the power of an affair to lie in a dark shadow of the brain for undocumented time...then an outlaw streak of light can bring it right to the surface. Such are triggers.
Whilst you munch deservingly on a chocolicious Mars bar, ponder keeping your discovery a little secret between you and the boards. 2 mention it 2 your FWW could elicit a 2uestionable response not healthy for your recovery. RM deserves no more of your thoughts. Put the rock down and back away slowly! LOL.
Best wishes,
SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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Hi SD!
Yeah, probably the thing 2 do, particularly with all the other crap going on now with the lawsuit from the SIL (my W's sister).
Good news is that our lawyer thinks he can get the court 2 dismiss most of her charges so we can sell the house. Bad news is that my MIL's "support" of the SIL's selfish behavior is keeping my W up in the middle of the night.
I will admit here that I have been a little down about our chances since the Holidays, but it's probably some subliminal misreading of her behavior as having 2 do with me, when it really is most likely the sitch.
We don't even hold hands much anymore.
-ol' 2long
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2long:
Why waste the time looking?
If you want to look, stay home and find out what the W is doing.
Focus on YOUR life. With YOUR Wife.
It didn't take long to find RM pic, but still.
"We don't even hold hands much anymore" Troubles me more than finding a pic of WW's ex on the internet.
IMHO.
LG
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lg:
rats, I had a reply written, but lost it...
Your points are well taken. I'll do better.
I recognize some of my downness of late has 2 do with the realization that things feel like they might be deteriorating a bit, and I just don't care all that much.
She's still in withdrawal, and I need 2 be there 2 help her through it, even if she doesn't seem 2 want it.
-ol' 2long
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Conversation, validation, admiration, and a shoulder for what's going on with MIL and SIL. Get her to talk, and validate her feelings. You can't hardly miss a woman's EN's if you start there! And keep a positive atti2'd throughout. Man, I don't know how you do that 2 stuff. I'm a raging amateur, and not worthy :::bowing 2 2long::: <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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Wow, screw this infidelity stuff! I almost missed THIS: http://skytonight.com/observing/home/5133461.htmlHope it's not 2 cloudy this evening, but it probably will be. -ol' 2long
Last edited by 2long; 01/10/07 06:32 PM.
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Thanks SD.
I have 2 remember and remind myself that I do a lot of those things you describe pretty well. I must just be getting used 2 this.
I just realized something, 2. I've been posting on a 2ple of newbie threads, and it's reminding me of the whole drama thang again.
Gonna have 2 cut that out a bit more.
-ol' 2long
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2Long, thanks for the link to the comet! That was worth a hunnert pictures of an affair partner.
Sunny Day, Sweeping The Clouds Away...
Just J --
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Hey 2long, I just pulled back the blinds to my north facing window and...I no see no stinkin comet! I don't want to pull out my 80X telescope since my neighbours will think I'm spying on them. It's pretty long you know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> And I'm as far north as you are going to get. BTW, how long has your W been in withdrawal for?
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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Just J: Ain't it though! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> HTW: The comet should be in the west where the sun went down. I don't know about you, but we've got a herd of clouds out that way, though there is a sucker hole right at the horizon that I'm checking again in a few minutes. If you can see Venus, south of west, the comet should be about 15 degrees north (2 the right along the horizon) from it. It should be as bright as the brightest stars, 2! I'm going back out. -ol' 2long
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Too much haziness along the horizon so it is making it difficult to see. I will try again later.
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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