This is also posted in the "just found out"forum.

He and I have been married for 7.5 years and have 2 children together. He was enrolled in an LPN program last year. His school that he chose was over 50 minutes away from home. Of course I knew there would be women in there, and I figured he'd make friends. I know he's a big flirt and I always thought he'd flirt with just the right person. Well he found her. He had an affair with her that lasted from about March-November. I kind of thought something was going on but never suspected it was as bad as that! He looked me straight in the eye repeatedly and swore he would NEVER do anything like that. He even accused me of cheating on him at different times during the year.

To get him to confess was like trying to sprint through chest deep water. I kept asking and kept asking and finally he answered yes. He said I should be glad he admitted it, that he could still be hiding it from me.

Im glad he doesn't want to leave me for that other woman, but I cant get it out of my head. I don't know if I ever will. I want things to work but I can't say for sure if I can stay with him. How do I know what he's doing? He works on-call at night and sometimes doesn't have to go in. He could very easily tell me he's going to work and go spend the night with her (she lives over an hour away, btw). There's just so much I could type here. I just feel so stupid. Stupid for ignoring what my gut was telling me all along...stupid for allowing myself to become friends with the woman (of course before I knew)...stupid for not kicking him out like everyone says I should do. I'm just so confused. And numb. I don't feel anything except stupid. Sometimes I feel mad or sad but all I can do is stare off into space muttering to myself. I take a few medications that could be causing my indifference, like Klonopin for instance.

I don't believe he's sincerely sorry about doing what he did. I think he is only sorry he got caught. I just wish I knew the right thing to do.

it takes awhile to know what to do ... don't beat yourself up

I advise you to go to marriage counseling together to see if he is willing to do the work to repair this damage

if he refuses to go ... that is a large part of the picture

Pep