Too funny about the dropped meatball!! Maddie is MUCH more deserving, you are right.

It reminded me of a song from when I was a kid,,to the tune of On Top of Old Smokey (yes,,, I'm showing my age here!)

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

Onto the table,
then down to the floor,
then my poor meatball,
rolled under the door,

There's more to it,,,, that I can't remember,,,,but it made me laugh when it even came to mind.

I am having a pretty bad day,,,,but am accepting it for what it is. I'm doing what I can to make it through and it will get better somehow.

I know how those "triggers" can be. Try to think of this,,,,, Nothing is New - Is that a TOTALLY BAD thing?

Of course NOT! No,,, WS hasn't had an ephiany that you are aware of and decided to come home and fix your marriage. But that isn't all there is to your life.

YOU have made it further with NC. YOU are continuing to learn and grow for yourself. You have started to control your life!

Try to focus on the positives! I know it's hard, but you can do it. :0

Bugs,

Oh does that song bring back memories... actually as soon as I saw On top of old smokkey I knew ehat song you were going to say.

Showing my age also.... I remember singing that sonf on the top of my lungs with my cousin.


You know what about the meatball.... I know Maddie will appreciate it alot more than WH. And she'll let me know too. Wh isn't one to pass out compliments. I keep asking myself why do I want that back? Although he wasn't always like that. Only since the first A.

Sorry today is one of those days.... let us help you. I'm still fuming for you about what your WH said. I mean don't these men ever really listen to what they are saying. How hurtful they can be.

Yes today is going to be the second complete day of NC. I'm seriously thinking of being out when he gets here so I'm not triggered by his voice.

Still

Why not plan on taking your evening walk about the time you expect him to be there?

No,,,, they DON"T hear what they are saying. The DON"T care if it is hurtful to us. It's all about the DRUG and the high from the Ho. Nothing else and no one else matters.

I've received TOTAL agreement from all who I have talked to today about not allowing the WS & Ho to take DD to the lake. It's good because, as you know, in the middle of this, it can feel like an impossible task to believe in ourselves and our thinking.

Today is a day where I don't feel like I've had one rational thought all day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

That does sound like a good idea... I'll see if BF would be willing to do that. If not I'll walk Maddie (she could use the exercise after her meatball) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

See everyone except the aliens know what's best for children. Not to expose kids to immoral people. People who are trying like he!! to rip thier family apart.

Hey your thinking has been rational to me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Still

Okay went for my walk right after I fed son so i wouldn'y be around when WH picked him up.

So that worked like a charm. Started dinner for me and my DD.

We had great converstaion during dinner it was really nice.

Then I'm cleaning up thinking wow this is too good to be true.

Find a note on the counter.

Still,

I know you don't want to talk to me right now but I saw at G's house that course selections came for the boys. Did you recieve it yet abd we need to talk about B and next years classes.

Me.

No you can e-mail me and we can go back and forth about next years classes for DS.

Plus there is not to much to talk about... I takled with DS and he wants to talk to his sister and get her advice.

There really isn't much for hin to choose because he will only be a freshman.

Okay need to figure out how I'm going to handle this. I so wanted to make it to day 3.

At the rate I'm going I'll be at day 1 forever.

What I'm thinking is if he asks for em all I'll say is e-mail me.

Geez I thought he wanted me out of his life.

Still

Always have to put the PREAMBEL to every letter, email, voicemail, etc..."I know you don't want to talk to me blah blah blah" as if it's YOU.

Response, "No, I would love to be able to talk to you, as soon as OW is gone with the wind , NC has been established through letter, and you are fully committed to recovery, Ya Jacka$$"

In cases of things with the kids, they are old enough to discuss these things with each of your separately. Geez, your DS is 13! I don't remember really discussing my classes with my mom, I just chose what I was interested in, within the constraints that high school allows. As a freshman, there is really more of a focus on CORE coursework, than electives.

I would inform you son that you need to discuss his coursework options when the selections arrive, and that his father is interested in discussing this ALSO. No need to talk to him.

Still, you are doing great! Keep it going.

I understand about the phone calls; they were very difficult for me in early Plan B. You will get used to it, and will FEEL even less about them as time passes.

AND

I'm jealous of your meal selection recently. Maybe I'll do some cooking this weekend. I love spaghetti and meatballs, and lasagna, and fettucine florentine, and on and on...

Silent,

[]Always have to put the PREAMBEL to every letter, email, voicemail, etc..."I know you don't want to talk to me blah blah blah" as if it's YOU.]/quote

you hit the nail on the head.... now why didn't I see that. Oh my God. My IC has been telling me this from the beginning that he puts everything back on me. It's all my fault.

I didn't talk to him tonight thankfully. My DS must have told him he had the paperwork. I know I also picked out my own classes. My DS is just so laid back... his favorite phrase is "I don't know". My girls were never like that. They always let us know what they wanted. Maybe it's just boys.
within the constraints that high school allows. As a freshman, there is really more of a focus on CORE coursework, than electives.


[I understand about the phone calls; they were very difficult for me in early Plan B. You will get used to it, and will FEEL even less about them as time passes.]/quote

Silent I hope you're right. That would be a blessing.



[I'm jealous of your meal selection recently. Maybe I'll do some cooking this weekend. I love spaghetti and meatballs, and lasagna, and fettucine florentine, and on and on... []/quote]

It's one of the few things that I can actually cook well. And it was very yummy.

Still

Still,

Just popping in to say you are doing Great!

Have a good day!

Thanks Bugs,

I think you're doing great also.

Almost through day 3 and no contact. I di e-mail him to let him know about DD softball meeting and where DS was after school.

His e-mail back was did you see my note. Isn't important enough to answer. I feel good about today.

I'm just exhusted and think I'm going to bed.

Hopefully I sleep all night.

Still

Best wishes on the sleep....pray that I sleep too...I woke up this morning to find that I ate two poptarts in the middle of the night...LOL...I only remembered one! Oops!

Wow, if I could make a trip up there for supper it would be great...we'll all have to meet in the middle somewhere...say Tenneesse?

Get some rest...You should be proud of yourself for all that you have accomplished in the past three days! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Still,

Hoping you get some good quality rest! It is hard to come by!

Another day done. Great job. I liked hearing that you deemed WS communication not worthy of your precious time or attention!

SL- 2 poptarts is nothing. The other night, I ate 5 mini honey buns in the middle of the night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. The only way I knew how many was when I foind the wrappers in the morning!! If I could control that, I would lose another 20 pounds:)

Still, you're doing fantastic. I'm really impressed at your strength. Keep it up and be ready for the next time he tries to break your resolve.

SDG

Thanks everyone for checking on me..

Slept better last night not real restful... and I woke up a little sad. Shakng my head to get that sadness away.

You guys make me laugh.. I was waking up last week eating girls scout cookies. And if I could stop that I would also lose my last 20 pounds.

Love all of you but I got to run to work.

Still

try the samoa girl scout cookie ice cream by Edeys

it's nothing but sin in a cardboard container!

That's one I'm going to look for.

Thanks Eve.

How's the hand?

Still

Still,

I am impressed. You sound much better and what that WS does isn't bugging you as much. That's progress.

Expect him to make sneak appearances. Practice that blaise' look (can't spell 'dem french words). LOL!!!

It will irk him that you aren't missing him so. Remember the one you miss is your real H not the imitation WS.

take care,
L.

Still:
Been gone but wanted to check in and say hi. I'm with eav on the Edy's GS cookie ice cream, but my preference is the Thin Mint one.

I presently have three boxes of Thin Mints in the freezer...

I am SO glad to hear you are doing well and hanging tough with Plan B. It's getting better, isn't it? Remember I'm right here with you, just a couple of weeks ahead, so we can do this together, 'kay?

(((still)))

P.S. This isn't ALL about WH. Another possible reason the sleep might not be so restful is the GS cookie binge in the middle of the night. Just sayin'..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Orchid,

Thanks I do feel much stronger. WH keeps trying to get through to me. Yesterday he e-mailed me about how we needed to TALK about bils. I e-mailed him back that I'm on my way to work e-mail me there.

Get to work happen to look at my cell and see a TM from him saying

This is getting ridiculous we still have 2 kids 2 raise.

Ignored that one completely although I could feel my anxiety rise a little. Got through the e-mails on bills with his accusatory tone and just kept to the bare minimum of words.

This morning at my DS hockey game didn't even lokk at him and turned my back and walked away when he started towards me.

Another game this afternoon and I will get through this.. uses Wilds idea of picturing him as wallpaper. ( a kind of cute wallpaper)

Had a friend of ours who use to coach with WH for DD softball come up to me this morning to ask if things are still progressing in the direction of D. I told him unfortunately yes. He told me he doesn't believe in D but in mt case he sees no way around it due to WH actions. He told me he wants nothing to do with him... WH had ask him to coach with him again this year and he told WH he already has another team. He told me he has no tolerance for adultry... but if we were to get back together he would accept him back. Otherwise if he continues on this path thier friendship is done. Also told me the stories flying around about MOW are just disgusting. he can't believe he has hooled up with someone like her and leaving a wonderful woman like me. The stories he is hearing is she has been around and he will not be her last.

LIlSIs.

It just night be the ccokies that wake me up at night.... maybe that's who is calling my name...STill we are hear come eat us. It's funny my kids love the thin mint cookies.. not my favorite but you wouldn't know that during the night.

We are in this plan B together and I keep up with you and how you're doing...and see the places that I will probably be also going. Right now I feel good. I still miss H but I fel strong. And I'm not at the point yet where I look back yet. I'm just trying to get by another day without significant contact.

Still

This is a pretty typical story. And it will not have a good ending. They almost never do. The WS ends up feeling as if he/she is a complete idiot, and of course during that time of their life, they are.

User critters leave an emotional train wreck in their wake and usually have zero remorse. I don't know why I am always a bit amazed that supposed grownups could be so gullible, naive; and thus allow themselves to be used.

Providing emotional support to a WS is a bit like sticking private parts into a wood chopper.

Larry

still

my advice is to be as strong as you can and IGNORE HIM

this is your best chance at letting him really FEEL what life will be like without you in it

what life will be like if he DIVORCES you

you WILL NOT BE HIS FRIEND

there are just so many people who realize AFTER a D that they really couldn't imagine life without the person that really matters to them.....and most just keep moving on ONLY because there's been too much damage done....especially the process of ENDING the marraige with the divorce to go back

IT IS EASIER TO ADMIT YOU MADE A MISTAKE NOW than after a D

remember "YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOT TILL IT'S GONE"

look at us....we didn't appreciate our H as much until there was a chance that we could lose them

do you understand what i'm saying??

this plan B might work out the way you want BUT only if you do it right!!

i think i waited way too long or it might have been exactly what could have saved my marraige

bythe time i went into plan B...my H had already REPLACED me

so it was easier to live without me

but even he made MULTIPLE attempts to contact me...he even did a driveby!!

i blew my chance though because i RETURNED HIS CONTACTS!!! no matter what the reason was...for the dogs or the house or taxes or the agreement

I SHOUILD NEVER HAVE CONTACTED HIM AT ALL

that would have been my best chance in my opinion

if you believe what i'm saying, maybe you can avoid the mistake i made

i'm praying for you