SD,

Nothing sent about that comment at all.... completely ignored the drive by comment. I was showing how he's trying to push my buttons to get me to argue or such with him.

Hmm.... maybe that was the EN I have been filling for him. He would push my buttons and get me to argue and justify why he's having A. That way he wouldn't LB Ho.


No I'm not answering him right back.... I take my time. He has a way of never answering my questions.... now it's right back at him.

I really think he thinks we are going to discuss this face to face. He's in for a rude awakening.

Still

still

just keep ignoring him and showing him what life without you is like

that's your best chance in my opinion

Eve,

That's what I'm doing.

This is driving him nuts...it's actually kind of comical. He TM me about DD drving 80 on the highway on Saturday. He took her to lunch and shopping.
I asked DD about it she denied she was going that fast.

This morning he e-mails me did you get my TM on Saturday.

Ignored that completely... didn't think it was a something that was answereable.

What I'd like to say is yea I got it.... how does it feel to be ignored when a TM is sent.

Still

still.........you are doing great!!!!
keep up the good work...
its GOT to be eating him alive.....
my WS is a controlling person as well....they keep trying because they expect that you wont hold out for long...so keep strong with your boundaries...prove to him that you ARE a strong person

FB,

My WH is a very controlling person.

And I'm not going to let him control me anymore. He keeps trying to get me to go back on what i wrote him in the letter. Historicaly (sp) that's how he would wear me down to get me to agree with him. He even admitted this to our MC when we went.

Today I'm going out to buy me an Easter outfit (court outfit). Saw the cutest outfit in a store window on Main St. Hopefully they have my size.

I am also going to the gym..... starting to feel chunky. Gaines about 4-5 pounds over the last couple of weeks. I think it was the midnight raids of GS cookies. I will not let myself get as big as I was before.

I guess my infidelity diet is starting to wear off.

Still

Still,

Wow! I gotta get caught up here.

First,,,,includ B.O.B. shopping on your list! he he! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
(fyi FB,,,,, b.o.b. = battery operated boyfriend)

Second, you are doing GREAT!

It IS DRIVING HIM CRAZY!! I read here just over these last couple of days that he can't understand what is going on??!! WHY aren't you REACTING to him in the way he WANTS and EXPECTS???!!!! He's telling you how much he wants/needs that interaction with YOU,,,,, he may not really realize it himself YET!

Keep up the great work!!!

Third,, the Mimi warning is to be aware of and question the motivations of your WS's friends,,,,,there are some that may view your vunerability as an Opportunity for them. Just be aware is all.

I know the holidays and weekends are especially hard. I do like the ides of journaling about the Kids,,,,,,writing down those special moments. As long as it's not too much of a DOWNER for you to do it, I like the idea a lot. I'd take the approach of YES,,,it will be great to be able to share it someday with H,,,, but even if that opportunity doesn't come, then you have it for Yourself!

Have a GREAT day! Let us know what you get on your Shopping trip,,,,,,,,,,,something Goddess like I hope!?!

Bugs,

No worry about this friend... he is totally committed to his wife and family. He abhorrs adultry. Thank-you for reminding me thou that I am very vunerable right now, and I know the attention would go very far with me. I mean we didn't even get close to each other we were just talking by our own vehicles. And he needed equipment that I had at my house.

He was just asking because of the coaching thing... he wants nothing to do with him while his head is up his [censored].

I can't wait to go and check it out. I have been eyeing it for the last week or so. It's springy... not really seductive but hey I'm planning on wearing it to court also. There was also another cute dress in another window that I may also check out.

I will be wearing my goddess undergarments thou. No Sunglasses today we have sleet and freezing rain today. Ahhh springtime in Maine.

I think today is 1 week of no contact. I'll have to go back and check it out. Wow how time flys when we are having fun <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

If I get brave may go to the BOB store... maybe I'll wait till next week.

Still

Still -

Buy BOTH outfits! You deserve them!

Can you belive you have reached a place where you don't know down to the EXACT second how long it is since you went to NC?? Pat yourself on the back for that one!

Best time to go to the b.o.b. store is right before you are going out with girfriends. Then you can share your story,,,and LAUGH about it all night like I did!

Sorry weather is bad there,,,but shopping for something pretty will help!

Hey Bugs,

Just a little flicker of being down right now. While at the gym was reading Cosmo and pictures of WH and Ho just kept going through my head. Boy that really pierces the heart.

I haven't read Cosmo for awhile guess I need ti stay away from that magazine for a little longer.

Went to check out the outfit.... the skirt was 100.00 dollars. Right now a little too rich for me. I'm plannnig t o go shopping on Thursday to the Mall and try to fimd something similar.

I think it's also the weather why I feel a little down in the dumps. But it won't last long. Going to go to Alanon again tonight and softball boosters meeting. So I won't see WH when he comes and picks up DS.

Although apparently still problems with the bills... when I e-mailed him back to e-mail me he sent back I'm much to busy at work to do it here. It was okay to mess around with someone elses wife there aaah.

It's the control thing we'll discuss it when he's ready. Hopefully I'll be around also.

Still

Just dropping in to say hi, it's been a really busy day...

Sorry I don't have anything else to add...

((((Still)))))

Thanks Rind,

On my way out to meet a friend who needs to talk and head to Alanon then a booster meeting.

I'm going to have a busy night. Check in later

Still

ROTFLMAO.......ditto, I just joined the gym yesterday....and my buns and thighs are burning....a good burn though....summer's comming:) maybe we can catch a cup 'o joe at york beach, i'm there in august



thanks bugs.....duh!!!I got a new one after WS moved out....its got variable speeds <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />....WS was jealous, and I don't feel bad using it 'cuz its all for me....no nostalgia there:)


still...they have online stores y'know....very discreet...and you don't feel embarrassed browsing in the store!!!!!!



those dang controlling WS's....this could go on for a while...depending on how stubborn WH is!!!! you're doing wonderful....its hard to step outside of that controling grasp......and to believe in yourself....it feels like walking a tightrope....but you will do it..

Help....I am really stressing.

Just found out that DD boyfirend is going to live with my WH next week until he graduates.

What a slap in the face from his mother. My WH doesn't even live in our school district.

He lives in a camp and where is DS suppose to sleep? Great now he's going to be exposed to ho. God she is closer to his age than to WH.

My DD say it's so he can "build a bridge for our relationship", she's pissed but there isn't much she can do. Essentially BF mom is abdoning him.

This really hurts... I feel bad for her BF and it makes me hurt that WH is trying to make off as if he's doing nothing wrong.

I want to address this with WH... but right now I'm afraid of what I might say.

Definately going to call my attorney in the morning.

Still

Just to clarify for my pea brain, your daughter's boyfriend is moving in with your WH? Say WHAT? Your DD's BF's mother is abandoning him, why?

Silent,

A couple of weeks ago BF mom mentioned to me she may be moving... I mentioned I wish i could help but I didn't think it would be a good idea for him to stay with us. She mentioned about having him drive from there to school.

Fast forward to today... DD tells me BF is moving in with WH amd he's(BF) not crazy about the idea. His mom is moving 1 1/2 away becasue of work. Basically cannot wait 2 months till her son graduates. I don't think his mom is very stabe.

His dad was a serial cheater and physically abusive. So him and his mom moved here actually from Michigan. So now his mom is putting him with someone who is blatantly cheating with another mans wife.

The thing also is that the camp has 2 bedroom but is only separated by a wall. The is no front to the rooms ie no privacy.

Still

Ah, what a tangled web that is. I guess I can't down the mom so much, but she couldnt' wait for her son to graduate BEFORE changing jobs? Oy, the damage we do to our kids...

I know... there are a lot of other issues here also.

I just know WH is dong this because it'll make him look good... that's important to him. Also I know he see it as a way to get DD to go out to where he is living. And he is only there till next month.

I'm afraid that he'll bring MOW around BF (although may put a crimp in thier love life). And think that will make her okay to DD.

I think I'm just having one of those days where I really miss H and today I just don't like being alone.

In all reality I should be happy that BF has a place to live until he graduates.
It just hurts he may be meeting MOW and like her.

Makes no sense does it.

Still

It's wonderful that BF has a place to stay, but the trigger machine must be stuck in SUBMIT mode for you right now, and is downloading trigger after trigger. I'm so sorry that you are in the midst of this right now.

Keep still, keep quiet. This is a time for your DD to begin to make up her boundaries.

You are alone in a time of strife and that is rough. Let this sink in, try to at least RELAX this evening. I'm going to lay down myself now and get ready for tomorrow. Just another day in limbo- land, so I gotta limber up to LIMBO LOWER NOW!!!

Thanks Silent,

You're right this is a major trigger. One that kind of just popped out of no where.

I am trying to let it sink in... and be still. It's not something I have any control over.

Have a good nights rest... I think I'm also headed to bed.

You're right also this is limbo land....and tongiht I don't want to be in kimbo anymore.

Still

Still,

I'm sorry that this craziness is invading your world!

Try to think of this,,,,,The situation is that REAL WORLD issues are starting to enter Affairland. Havi the BF there will certainly impact their world and probably not in a good way.

Reality of real world issues is what will help bring the A to a close.

One act of kindess by WS towards DD will NOT change the reality of the Pain and damage he has done to the father/daughter R. It will not suddenly make OW acceptable to DD. She's old enough and smart enough to know better.

I realize it's Very hard to have to sit back and let this happen. Try not to focus too much on it.