I has sat down with my FWW this evening to talk about the EA's she has had in the past. There was a total of 3. I was aware of all 3 of them. The first one was swept under the rug and never delt with. the second one on Valintines Day last year after the EA was over about 6 weeks, she had appologised to me and showed remorse. The 3rd one, she never said anything but she knows it was wrong. That said, she never said that to me either, it was written on her blog for me.

So I asked questions. Nothing specific. They were pretty much the same questions for each person. yes she kissed the frist two men. surprisingly I took that well and it didn't really hurt me all that much. I was prepaired for it. I asked if she had sex with them, and she did not. But the third person she did have sex with him once. I was expecting it but shocked at the same time. Yet she acts like it's was ok because she already had one foot out the door and I should be ok with it. Well I'm not ok with it. After all why should I be.

I feel like D-day all over again, but yet not like it's all over again. I am upset but she seems to think that I shouldn't be, or that is how she's acting. I have some resentment mainly from being hurt. Since we moved to AZ things have been getting much better and over the past month, things have been going really well.

I tried to explain to her how I felt during those times and the only thing I could come to was when we had a miscarriage many years ago and told her to multiply that by 1000 and she may get an understanding of the pain. She really didn't fade on it like the whole thing was ok.

So tonight when we went to bed, i tried to snuggle up to her, to feel like i got a cold shoulder. so I just rolled over. Over the past month or two when she would roll over to me she would snuggle up to me, but tonight she just curled up into a ball with knees in my back. Just like she did during the EA's and PA (newly found out).

I had told her this evening that we will work through this and gave some thoughts on how to handle our feelings again if for any reason her attention goes unmet by me or my needs in general by her. She had agreed to that. I had also suggested to fully commit to Dr. Harleys program for our recovery. We have been doing it and been going well, meeting each others needs, etc, but not really setting in stone the 15 hours min a week. I had suggested we should follow it, she had agreed. I also had suggested that we reread the books we have by Dr Harley just to brush up again. I think she had agreed on it, she didn't argue it.

So how long will it be for she would appologise for what she has done to me and our family and show remorse for it, if she ever will. Also how do i keep the resentment from building up inside. I do admit there is a little bit since this new information was found but i don't want it to increase. What do i have to do or she have to do? The last Affair i would say lasted from my knowledge which is what she had indicated as well, about 6 weeks if that. But that PA was right after my wedding anniversary and somewhere around my Birthday. Two events that are very close together, but now mark a reminder, i want to avoid resentment to build on as well.

so many more questions again and i can't seem to form a thought. I guess this marks our recovery process as starting over but i would hate to dismiss the last 6 months as a waste for we have learned alot. But one thing I don't like is when I'm i guess upset with the fact she slept with another man, or when I'm upset over something in our M that she thinks is nothing or whatever, she pulls this your pushing me out the door. I have one foot out the door. Always seems like she hangs that over my head and that seems nothing more that DJ to me and I'm sick of that.

LANH, sorry you have to be here. Your WW sounds like a serial cheater who has no interest in being married to anyone. She likes having a husband, sure, but that's not the same as HER being married.

Are you sure she is not having an affair now? She sure sounds like someone who is.

You may have to seriously consider this situation and decide whether she is worth the agony of trying to stay with her. You cannot be married by yourself.
Mulan

I had clarification on the foot out the door. It was the excuse that was used for the PA for her to justify it. I had miss understood since I was still in disbelief. Nothing going on now, because we have implimented Harley's recovery plan for the most part. I knew I was going to ask these questions at one point but I wanted to ensure there was enough LB deposits made before hand.

So things are transparent, we do 15 hours a week for us, but we don't say were going to do this specifically on this day or that on this day because things do change, but we certainly do things.

Since July things have been slow, but since the week before Xmas it went into high gear. almost like when we first met. I want to keep that going, but now i have a bit of resentment formed from this and I don't want to allow it to boil but get through it. I made up a list today on what she could do to help me and I hope she will do the same as well. I have SAA on hold at the bookstore and going to pick it up after work. we have hnhn and fall/stay, along with books from other authors.

I want to see what I can do to work through it and what can she do to help.