I've been warned about therapist before and now i know why. I laid my personal history on the line for this guy and part of that history is that my father always had Playboy and Penthouse magazine just sitting around at our house. I developed an addiction to pornography because of it. After telling the counselor about this he says "Playboy isn't really that bad. I mean its not really porn."

I was shocked. Told him i did not agree.

Needless to say we are not going back to that counselor.

W wants to go to IMAGO therapy. Has anyone ever heard of it?

Yes, I have heard good things about it.

Another good one to look into is the PAIRS Program.

Your counselor is an a-hole.

What a jerk! OK, what an Idiot!

My husband and I did Imago therapy and it worked out really well for us.

MEDC-More often than not I've agreed with most of your ideas lately! Keep up the good work.

Former Counselor - And actually he is a very nice guy.
I wouldn't classify him as a a-hole, just a clueless moron (did i spell that right?)

yep a moron

TO recap:

that's Two votes for IMAGO therapy

One A-hole & Two moron's

Sorry, i couldn't resist.

LoL...Thank you for the laugh I needed it...

I havent heard of IMAGO therapy... If I did Im sure I would be able to share my views on it

Pretty - don't thank me, thank the moron.

Seriously, I laughed about it afterward while driving home.
I thought it was pretty unbelievable. I won't even share the other thing he said because it is borderline insanity.

However, i had to share this one because i was in a good mood today and figured i'd let everyone share in it with me.

and my ulterior motive ... i wanted to know about the Imago thing anyway.

Add a vote of schmoe for me.

Well.. uh... Playboy really /isn't/ that bad. It's pretty timid, compared to some of the other stuff out there. More artsy, less raunchy.

Besides, why is porn "bad?" I've never completely understood that. It might not be morally acceptable to some people, but that doesn't make it 'bad' in an overall sense. Porn is no different than tobacco or alcohol; when used in moderation and not addictively, it hurts no one. Though, one must say that porn is actually healthier than tobacco and alcohol, because it doesn't actively kill you, yet tobacco and alcohol seem to be okay.

personally, i think playboy is worse than REAL PORN.
in some ways anyway.


I am sorry you and your wife had to feel dismissed like that.
good luck.

Yeah when not Addictive for one and in moderation But for those that cant get away from it...Thats the bad part of it... IMHO

Oh, I agree. Like I said, in moderation. I do admit that some people can have problems with it, and it can cause terrible problems within relationships.

So can obsessions with other hobbies.
So can overachievers who are workaholics.
Etc.
Etc.
Etc.

Because sex isn't meant to be a spectator sport.

And other people's genitals aren't meant to be entertainment.

Sex is meant to be between two people. With real saliva.



Except that it's degrading to the spirit, rather than the body. To the observer, and the observed.



Have you read much about the real lives behind the porn industry? Is it the kind of industry you want to support?


Playboy, of course, must be taken in a historical context. When it was first published in the postwar years, it was the beginning of a groundswell that promoted the idea that the ideal male situation was not being a loving husband and father of a family -- the historical ideal for the last few millenia -- but rather to have an apartment by oneself and for oneself, for one's own gratification, and to have multiple sexual partners. (See the writings of Barbara Ehrenreich on the subject. She's not an evangelical -- but an a-religious socialist columnist.)

In this world, of course, there are no emotional needs, there are no pregnancies, and there are no families to consider. In fact, selfishness creates a terrible environment for children.

And all this of course is predicated on the notion that our bodies are ours, to do with as we please -- and not "on loan."

What followed in Playboy's wake, of course, was much worse. The attitude that was unleashed is that I am entitled to my vicarious sex life, and to indulge my fantasies at others' expense. With internet pornography, fetishes that take years to develop can be developed within weeks. View the "specialist" sites online. There is a strong link between pornography and sex crimes.

Sex is a billion-dollar industry, promoted under the illusion that it's a victimless crime.

It may not be an addiction but could still be causing ptoblems for different reasons.
Like alcohol...the person using it needs to make the call about weather or not it is affecting his/her life and relationship.

Given what we know of the porn industry, its links with crime and prostitution...

How much degradation qualifies as "moderate"?

A.M. Martin...Insightful posts...I enjoyed reading and learning from them...Just wanted to say Thank You! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

I think AM Martin has a gigantic brain

KCM

To answer your question about the Imago. If you would like a little insight there is a book called "Getting the Love You want" by Harvel Hendrix. This outlines the Imago therapy.

Basically is says we fall in love with people for a specific reason. Just pick up the book and see for yourself.

It says we fall in love with someone because they remind us of one of our parents. Unfortunately sometimes it is the not so good parent. The idea is we will fix this time what we had no control over as a child.

It hit the nail on the head for me.

Sex can be whatever we make of it. It is simply a biological drive. All of these 'taboos' that exist do so purely because of religion and the moral 'majority.' Get off your high-horse, remove your rose-colored glasses, and view the world through unclouded eyes for a few minutes!


Howso? How is Playboy, which is more artful nudity than porn, 'degrading to the spirit?'


Again, we're talking about Playboy here. Playboy is not hardcore porn. It is a completely different beast.

I, personally, would love to live at the Playboy mansion. :P I don't think they lead terrible lives.


This, the idea of men being purely for sexual and procreational needs, is actually quite true. Biologically, instinctually, and procreationally speaking, men and women both should be out there hunting for as many partners as they can, so that they can be assured that they will A) be successful in furthering their species and B) be successful at locating the strongest possible genetic matches.

We are merely animals who possess enough hubris to believe that we can transcend the flesh. We are, as a species, very arrogant, and it is going to lead to our demise. We think ourselves better than anything in nature, even to the point of claiming that 'the creator' placed us here and gave us 'dominion' over all things. BS.


Uh, what does any of this have to do with Playboy?


On loan? WTF? Our bodies are ours. What we do with them is our own business. Even a Christian should understand that... it's the whole point behind 'Free Will.'


At least you somewhat acknowledge, here, that Playboy was not directly responsible for the 'worse.'


Yep, just as strong as the link between violent video games and crime in children.


And religions are multi-billion dollar industries that are promoted under the concept of morality and purity, forgetting the fact that religion is responsible for more murder and human tragedy than almost all other killers combined.