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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 5
D
Junior Member
Junior Member
D Offline
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 5
My wife is very uninterested in me at the moment. She's having an online affair with a guy in a far off european country, they met on World of Warcraft of all places.
She left her computer up while prancing off on the phone with him to sit in our bed in the dark talking to him... I read the chat logs, and was unpleasantly surprised to see them basically having cyber oral sex... *sigh*

My questions are many: (btw, I just started Plan A about 4 days ago, she probably thinks I've lost my mind, I'm definitly in doormat mode.)
Should I try to give her privacy and avoid reading logs that are left wide open on her computer?

In Plan A, can I be openly sad and upset or do I keep it to myself?

I'm dying to rush to plan B cause I think that more than anything would be system shock to her(however I understand the longer in plan A the better B works). My question is, I am the working spouse, she watches the baby at home all day, do I kick her out? Or do I move in with my mother and continue paying for our house?

Also about family, I'm suffering alone, she would be pissed if I told my family, but I feel like I need support should I tell my mom (knowing that she will blabber to everyone in my extended family about this)?

Previously I believed this to be an emotional affair, but overtime it's getting more intimate, do I just let it play out? Do I let her have phone sex in our bed? Do I let her leave the country to have a fling with him? Do I pay for the plane ticket and hotel room? How long must I stand by and watch this happen?

dyers

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 51
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 51
I am so with you - I just said out loud to myself the other day "I AM a doormat" UGH!!! That's a hard thing to take, isn't it??... I am thinking that setting a time frame in which I will "be a doormat" but setting some boundaries such as no phone calls in the house, etc.

Like you, I haven't told anyone and I'm not sure who I will tell. I'm embarrassed, too. So, it's not like I want to shout it from the rooftops but, I need some support.

Have you talked about why she is doing it? Any kind of communication going on at all?? Like what is she getting from this and not from you, etc..


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