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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 72
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 72 |
Some of you have seen my other posts, so you know I never want to go Plan B, and I have reason to think my M is back on track. But let's say I think WW and I are happily recovering for 6 months and then I find that the A is still going. I don't think that will happen, but I'm learning that anything is possible at this point. It would be time for Plan B. But I have kids. Everyone says I am not to move out as it would hurt my custody chances (plus I love my kids too much to live without them). So that means the WS has to leave. But I know she wouldn't leave either. I never understood that. I can't leave, and she won't leave. How does anyone ever Plan B? You can't physically force someone out of their home.
NS
BS (me): 33
WW: 37
DDay 11/4/06, OM former coworker/supervisor
EA started? 2005?
PA started? Summer 2006?
PA ended? Oct 2006?
NC letter 11/26/06, some contact in December, last contact (by phone) in early January
Recovery: Still bumpy at times, but going very well overall. Outlook is good.
DD 4.5
DD 1.5
Married 5 years
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"To let it go. And so to fade away. I'm wide awake!"
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
I wish that I could help with that one.
I asked my WH to move out on TWO occassions and he did, just like that...
With a WW, it is probably much different, as she feels compelled to remain with her children. If you catch her at the height of an A, it wouldn't surprise me if she was 'drugged' up enough to move out, at first.
Anyway, if you are working on recovery, you don't need to be thinking about Plan B right now; everyone will be here to advise you when/if you need to implement Plan B. You need to have an understanding of WHEN to enter plan B, and that is when your love bank is NEARLY drained and your efforts to break up the A are not working...IMO..
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
NS, you simply file for a legal seperation and seperate. In fact, Harley strongly suggests getting a LSA before you seperate to get all your business in order.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,401
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,401 |
It took my WW 7 months to finally leave since she would not go without a LSA in place. In most cases the WS is determined to get away from the BS that they will leave.
I've noticed that the BS can negotiate a better deal for themselves early in the process. Usually the WS is so eager to get out and continue their A unimpeded that they will give more that they would later.
If she doesn't want to leave, it will be he11 in your household...trust me on that one.
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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