About 1.5 weeks ago I was in bed at about 12:30 at night and my husband was in the office on the computer. All of a sudden I hear my husband shut the office door. Curious as to what he was up to I snooped things out and heard him having Phone Sex with another woman an old friend of his. I was in shock. She had sent him Campics of the ordeal and she was the one who offered such an activity. I know this because I have access to my husbands IM and Email accounts(he does not know) I confronted my husband about this and started out asking him if he needed to tell me anything, ofcourse he said no. So I spilled the beans and told him I had heard what he did on the phone with Alex ( we will call her that on this post) He told me Alex was depressed was suicidal and wanted to do something to cheer her up she had recently been rejected by several men and felt down and out about herself. Alex's history is that she has had Man problems for the last 5+ years and she leans on my husband as her crutch. He told me he wanted to do something to make her feel wanted and didnt want to reject her offer and say no to her for fear of what she would do. In addition to this conversation he had told her that next time he saw her he would let her see his package since she showed him hers. Well the following week after this while I was at work my husband called this woman at 9:30am to talk there were 2 phone conversations within a 15 min time span of about 10 minutes total talk time. (I know this bcse I have checked the cell phone records) I asked him if they met up that day or any day for that matter and he said no. I asked him if he had ever offered for them to meet and he at first told me no until I told him to stop lying to me and start telling me the truth that I at the least deserved that much from him being his devoted wife. So after a lengthy conversation and the first 10 minutes of it with him lying to me he came clean with telling me that he offered to have her come over into the garage while I was asleep and that she invited him to her place but he said he could not bcse I would find out. Need some advice..is what he did considered cheating in the handbook of cheating or am I overthinking the phone ordeal? Also since our talk he has not made one phone call to anyone outside of family members, has not been on the computer and is "sucking up to me"

Hi Truthful. This one is out of my league. You need to repost this as soon as you can on the General Questions II forum. There is a lot more traffic there all the time and the experts will start to weigh in. Personally, you are not "over thinking" this and your marriage could use some help.

I think you came to the right place.

Again, repost at GQII right away and you will start catching the experts. Good luck and welcome.